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Original poster

4yr old DD started repeating the same question all the time. How can I stop this?!

10 replies

RepeatingAhhhh · 08/07/2023 13:14

I hate repeating myself, so this is a nightmare!

DD 4, SEN. Today we have friends over, she is going to be having a sleepover in her sisters bedroom.
I've been asked "we have a sleepover?" About 30 times in the last 20mins and I answer her "yes you are having a sleepover" but she keeps asking.
It seems a new thing, just started this week but she will ask the same thing over and over.

Any ideas of how to get her to stop?
Is this anxiety?
I coped much better with the "why why why why".

Help!

OP posts:
Lessonsinbiology · 08/07/2023 13:21

Maybe draw a picture of it ( a bit like a social story) and draw pictures of what her day will look like so she can tick off the activities when they are done to reduce anxiety.

skeletonbones · 08/07/2023 13:34

I used to look after an older child with SEN who did this, answering the question multiple times didn't stop it coming again and again. the approach we used was answering the first 2 times so say 'is it PE next?' yes it is. then moving to 'what do you think the answer is?' when the question was asked the 3rd time onwards. child would almost always be able to answer 'yes it is PE next' so he had processed the answer just enjoyed the repetition, when he had to provide the answer also it was more work for the same reward so would decrease the repetitions. Also if it turned out he'd asked something he didn't know or understand it gave chance to talk about things more deeply rather than the same question fired again and again that the answer wasnt being understood for.

YellowHatt · 08/07/2023 14:09

Someone more up to date than me will
hopefully be along, but thinking wag back to my training I think it’s not anxiety and it’s that the idea is pleasurable to her so she’s asking over again as a way of feeling good/excited.

As Skeleton said she doesn’t need an answer, she just needs to talk about it in the only way she can and is enjoying the repetition. Instead of answering, ask her what she thinks the answer is, then confirm.

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DaisyUpsy · 08/07/2023 14:25

Yes anxiety. There's probably something she needs to know but isn't sure what.

Haribosweets · 08/07/2023 14:34

My 13 year old SEN does this - not all the time. As well as anxiety it's routine as well. So she could be making sure the sleepover is still happening and nothing has changed.

areyouhavinglaugh · 08/07/2023 14:38

Ask her a few questions,
How are you feeling about the sleepover ?
Are you excited or worried about something?

I usually find there's something they can't quite explain but need to talk through.

Why questions, I always answer with why do you think that (whatever question was)
It gives them a chance to talk and think it through for themselves.

tescocreditcard · 08/07/2023 15:06

Ask her why she keeps repeating the same question over and over again.

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 08/07/2023 15:32

Talk her through it.

  • we are having a sleepover
  • it's 3.30pm now on the clock
  • xx will arrive at about xx which is when the big hand is on xx and the little hand is on xx
  • the adults will talk and have some drinks and you will play with xx and maybe have a snack
  • we will have dinner at dinner time and everyone will sit at the table and eat xx
  • then we'll have lots more time to play and talk to each other before bedtime.
  • xx will sleep in xx room
  • in the morning we'll all get up and have breakfast together.

Then ask questions to make sure she has understood and to see if there's anything else she needs to know.

DD doesn't have SEN as far as we know but does get anxious around new situations. We've found that detailing what she can expect to happen helps her to process it because she sometimes doesn't know what questions to ask.

Original poster
RepeatingAhhhh · 08/07/2023 15:55

Thank you for all the helpful advice so far. I will give everything a try.

Sorry- if it's a bit of a drip feed but she also has a speech delay so I could try asking her a few questions but I may not get much back.

As I type this she's asked me again. I think she is excited about it but also anxious.

She also keeps saying that she is tired today so I think she is extra keen for bedtime!

I'll come back to the thread a bit later once she he sleepover is in full swing. Thank you again to all of you for taking the time to comment.

OP posts:
MeinKraft · 08/07/2023 15:59

Yeah young kids do this when they're excited. It's like 'are we there yet?' If you had something to help her countdown that might be helpful.

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