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Do I have a right to be pissed off?

29 replies

Greenel82 · 08/07/2023 09:01

Every Saturday DP goes out to play football. Usually he’s out of the house for 7 hours. Today, he is playing somewhere that is 4 hours away so he is setting off from home at 10 and won’t be back until god knows when because he’s going straight to a party. Last night, he had a nap while I was with DC, then this morning I have been up with them since 7 while he’s lay in bed on his phone (he’s still in bed now) He is setting off in an hour so I won’t get his help this morning with the DC even though he’s going to be out for the whole day and night. I’m thinking he should have let me have a little lie in this morning?

OP posts:
Madamecastafiore · 08/07/2023 11:02

Tell him to step up or he won't be playing every other weekend as he'll be solely in charge of his children because that's when he'll have access. Think if every other weekend with your feet up living the dream.

DelphiniumBlue · 08/07/2023 11:13

Get yourself back to work, or at least work towards that by doing a course to make you employable.
Find evening/weekend work in the meantime. If he wants to go out he'll have to arrange childcare, and maybe he'll have a bit more respect for you too. But really it looks as if you should be preparing to be financially independent.
Best in mind that while you are together , he is as responsible as you for the cost of childcare, don't be put off working by thinking it all needs to come out of your wages. Remember you are currently enabling him to work, you don't have to do that if it's not reciprocated. You have to think long term- you don't want to be struggling for work experience/qualifications still in 5 years time, as a single parent.

DelphiniumBlue · 08/07/2023 11:13

Also, take yourself off out tomorrow.

Milkand2sugarsplease · 08/07/2023 13:12

You didn't make the children by yourself!! He's a parent and he has to parent.

You look after the children while he works, fair enough, but around his work and commute it's equal time - both have to parent and both need free time to relax/gym/hobby whatever.

What he's doing isn't fair and just passing it off as "you wanted children" is a cop out. What will happen tomorrow if he's out all day today? What happens if you have plans with friends, does he parent then?

You need to think about how you want your life to look as a family and find out if he's up for that too - if not, you need to line up your plan B - are you better off alone or in your current situation and only you know the answer to that.x

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