Will I be told to exercise

[Everyoneisbeautiful]

Hi all,

I have named changed because this is embarrassing.

Im a mum of two. My youngest is almost 6. I have had some pelvic floor issues since having first dc. Even though my dc are older it’s getting worse not better. I did do some pelvic floor exercises after dc but if I’m honest I didn’t do them properly or for long enough.
After dc1 I went to the gp who said I have a slight prolapse but they couldn’t do anything about it. I did self refer to physiotherapy and went to a group session but was told to do more pelvic floor exercises. This was 8 years ago now. I did some but it’s so weak it felt impossible to do it right.

More recently I’m becoming in continent. I can’t hold my pelvic floor for even a second. It’s really affecting my life. I love walking but feel I can’t go outside because I can’t hold my bladder. I work out and about and I’m often late to work because I spend so long hanging round the nearest supermarket so I have access to a toilet. I have to go a few times before I leave the house which I know is probably counter productive but I’m scared that if I don’t make sure I have completely emptied my bladder il have an accident. I don’t drink anything when I’m out of the house which is making me feel unwell itself but I need to plan any outing round toilets.

Il often suddenly need to go and can’t hold it no matter what. It just won’t stop or hold.

I have pain and bleeding during sex and have been to the gp with this ad that is also a recent thing and I have been told all tests are normal and exams are all normal. No mention of further prolapse etc

I just don’t know what to do now. It’s affecting my life. I’m out now shopping and couldn’t make it to a toilet in time as there is often no warning or build up. I don’t feel it until I’m wet. It’s embarrassing.

Does anyone have any advice. I cannot do the pelvic floor exercises they tell me as it’s just too weak to even hold a second it’s painful.

Thanks

You need a referral to the continence nurse for advice i think.

Gp won’t refer me unfortunately just get told I need to do the exercises. Il try again.
Im only 30.

Can you not start to do the exercises? I don't know much about it but would it help?

What exams have you had for the bleeding? Because you ought to be having an ultra sound and then depending on that a proper gynae apt with perhaps a hysteroscopy. If you haven't been given that I would press for it.

It sounds to me like you’ve been told how to solve this, through physio, but you haven’t done it. I’m not sure what other answers you want?

Any work on a muscle that is weak takes time to build up. You need to be doing these regularly and on an ongoing basis. Even if it’s for a moment, you should soon be able to build up.

Make an appt with a women’s health physio? You will have to do any exercises given though, or how do you expect it to improve?

I’d be concerned about painful sex and bleeding afterwards. However I’m not a doctor.
I would suggest you buy an electronic pelvic floor toner. It’s battery operated or rechargeable and does the muscle tensing so you don’t have to. As with any exercise it needs to be done regularly , I’d say at least 3 times a week, to be effective.
Whilst you are suffering incontinence you might consider incontinence knickers until your pelvic floor has strengthened.
Please do not accept this situation cannot be resolved, this is not the way to live and it doesn’t have to be.

The whole point of the exercises is that they're difficult to do at first. That's how muscles get stronger, by doing things that you might not even be able to feel at first or are uncomfortable.

However, do you have back pain at all? The absence of feeling could be from not using the muscles or possibly from something affecting your back.

Try a pelvic floor toner like kegel8 maybe to start with if you can’t hold a kegel yourself? Also referral to gynaecology?

This. Only you can do this, there is no magic wand.

However, you clearly need help and support and maybe a better program of exercises for now, but there’s no other way out of this I’m afraid.

I could have written your post although I've never had children.

I saw the female health nurse and she prescribed me a cream that you use internally in the vagina and it helps strengthen and thicken the pelvic walls. It takes a while to work but I'm trying it.

She also went over lots of options with me and it was so reassuring. I also tried exercising but I had no idea if I was doing it right. So I bought a pelvic floor exerciser device that you insert and it helps you know if you're doing it right.

I use modibodi underwear as it gives me some peace of mind if I do have a leak. My life is ruled by going to the loo and I'm hoping that by the time I go on holiday in November, the work I'm doing now will give me some more freedom.

As the GP won’t refer you you’ll have to do the exercise. Try just doing 1 each day for a week. Then 2 for a bit less than a week and build up day by day. Hopefully it works for you. If not, go back to the GP and tell them it’s not working.

You're looking for the no effort answer.

If NHS is saying it's not surgery worthy and you can work on muscle tone you need to at least try.

Not I did them twice and gave up. Daily. Religiously, for a couple of months.

A proper pelvic floor physio will help you with the exercises. They'll be able to tell you if you're doing them properly. For example it's much easier to do lying down than standing or sitting. Start by fling them a second each time lying down and then maybe after a week you'll be doing two seconds then 4 etc. I had a slight prolapse and the pelvic floor physio was really helpful. And I was really surprised at what a difference the exercises made. I was probably wasting my time at first.

Is there a reason you won’t do the exercise?

Isn’t there a machine to strengthen the pelvic floor? I think it’s called Elvie? Could help until you can feel the muscles working.

A good Pilates class might help. Lots of cueing for the pelvic floor for many for the exercises. Core, inner thighs, pelvic floor are all linked so if you can strengthen all those areas it would help.

Personally I wouldn’t bother with a GP or wait for a referral. Just find a good womens health Physio. You will have to spend a bit of money but this is clearly affecting your life.

I also would recommend the Kegel8 machine. It's great.

Try to track down a pelvic floor physio - I found it so helpful, plenty of time and detail, gave me real insight into what I could and could not achieve with pelvic floor exercises. Even helped my running! Well worth the effort.

Fair enough il give the exercises a go again.
It’s not that I don’t want to or want a fix without them, I did do them after dc but obviously not enough or for long enough which is my own fault but when your busy with a baby and toddler these things do go out the window.
My pelvic floor was better after dc to be honest. I didn’t have the continence issue I do now, that’s a recent thing. It was weak but not like it is now 6 years after dc birth. I didn’t realise this is something I’d need to do all my life, no one has ever explained this to me, maybe I should have realised.
Im not sure if I’m doing the exercises right so going to a womens physio is a good idea.
Gp has not said anything about ops or exercises, they just said their is nothing they can do it’s due to having dc. They said their is nothing wrong with how it all looks after an exam and all swabs came back normal too.
I do have a strong core to be fair, I have regularly gone to the gym my whole life but have had a break recently due to dc and work commitments.
Il look into the suggestions of the machines so thanks for that.
I haven’t told anyone about this including dh so need it to be discreet.

Well your gp is wrong there is lots that can be done but the starting point is the exercises and yes they are lifelong (ideally!).

I would recommend the Squeezy app it’s cheap it works, it explains how to do it and reminds you and it doesn’t require any set up
or a private space and hiding from interruptions like the other fancy kits!

Ask for a Urogynae referral and get in the queue while starting the excercises.

Thank you il take a look

Your GP is very wrong to dismiss you! Insist on a referral.

OP you could try the Esmella chair, it's supposed to help with incontinence.

https://theurologypartnership.co.uk/treatments/emsella-chair/

*Emsella - sorry, I got the spelling wrong

Agree that your gp is absolutely wrong and there's plenty that can be done about it. Ask for the referral. If it gets refused, complain to the practice manager and be very clear on how this impacts your life, that you're only 30 and you shouldn't just have to deal with it. It's common, but not normal for this to happen after childbirth.