Anxious about holiday

[DustyLee123]

I haven’t been away since pre covid, and used to go away a couple of times a year. Obviously in the summer you get asked where you’re going, and people talk about holidays, so I kept asking DH to go away due to the idealisation of holidays. Now it’s time to book and I don’t want to go.
I don’t want to leave the dog, I’ll miss him lots, and I just don’t see the point of holidays any more. I’ll have to share a room with DH who snores so I’ll get hardly any sleep, I don’t drink anymore so sitting around in the evening does nothing for me, sitting on a sunbed all day (like DH wants to do) isn’t what I want to do - I’d rather be at home going shopping/bike ride/dog walk.
Ive been to lots of countries and I just can’t see the attraction of holidays any more. You look at the view and then that’s it, I’d rather be at home in my own bed, but then I can’t sit at home waiting for the end of my life just doing the same thing over and over.
I keep telling myself that it’s only a week, but a week is quite a long time when you don’t want to be there.

I'm with you, although much older. I'd much rather holiday in the UK or stay at home now. It was the hassle at airports that did for me in the end. I've got an elderly dog and don't want to leave her. I may feel differently when she's gone but I doubt it.

I’ve been awake since 4.45 thinking about it. But I’m telling myself that I’ve got to go, and if I don’t like it I won’t go again.
Im overthinking all the things that could go wrong while I’m away, this is the first time we’ll be leaving my youngest at home, and I’m not sure I actually want to be alone with DH !

The way you describe holidays sounds like you've got a fixed idea of what a holiday is in your head. Eg. A Spanish hotel where you sit by the pool most days. A holiday can be anything you want it to be.

Book in the UK, or get an animal health certificate and drive to France. Take your bike and book a 2 bed cottage or gite. Then you can have separate bedrooms.

That way, you still get to do all the things you love, but you are on holiday and exploring somewhere new. Eurocamp offer 2 bed accommodation and welcome dogs. And pretty much all of them have a pool for your DH to lay by if that's his thing. There's some nice, quiet ones in beautiful countryside.

Eurocamp also charge per party, not person, and you can do any duration you like. So maybe look at just doing 4 or 5 nights somewhere if a week feels too long.

What @RhubarbFairy said. Get your dog a pet passport and get the Euro tunnel to France.

Lots of places in France are dog friendly; hotels, restaurants, chateaux. There are cycle routes, lovely walks and obviously beaches too.

So it's just you and your husband going? Is that the issue?

Ask yourself honestly has your marriage deteriorated into two
people living in the same house in a friendly way and coparenting? Why are you subconsciously dreading it?

Unfortunately I can’t take the dog as he can’t have any more vaccinations. He collapsed after the last one, so I don’t want to risk it again. And he doesn’t travel well anyway.
I have thought of hiring a camper van as a trial. Ive done 3 holidays at home with him, one was great and clean, the other two were covered in dog hairs so it’s put me off.

The marriage deteriorated some time ago and we live as housemates. I’ve suggested splitting before but he said he’d change, and surprise surprise he hasn’t. But it’s ok, I’m better off as half of a couple with the benefits it brings.
I just need to do this one holiday and see how it goes. I’m going to do 5 nights max.

A holiday is not meant to be something you dread. As pps have said, it can be anything you want it to be, and anywhere! Do a uk holiday where you can still do the things you enjoy but exploring a new place.

Oh, cross posted. I’d def get a two bed place if this is the case re: your husband. Seems a bit sad though.

To be fair, I’ve had tickets for a couple of concerts and sold them as I couldn’t be bothered to go. It’s easier to stay home, but I don’t want to stay home for the rest of my life, I want to want to go places.
Ive started HRT to see if it helps.

Why don't you choose a place that interests you and go from there? If you like art you could choose a city with a renowned art gallery and go from there - making the art gallery the reason you are going but then finding other things to do as well to fill a few days. Or if you like food base your holiday around eating in a particular restaurant.

If you feel like you've seen everything there is to interest you in Europe why don't you consider going further afield like SE Asia? Getting there is more expensive but once you're there accomodation is cheap and there's plenty of interesting things to do plus the option to lie by a pool in the sun. Or you could do something totally different like a safari!

Right, i’ve had a word with myself. I regretted not going to those concerts, so I’m not going to regret not doing this. I’ll go for 4/5 nights and if I hate it, or anything goes wrong at home, I won’t go again.

Since you're not really a couple anymore do your own thing when you're away, i.e. he can laze on the sunbed by the pool and you can do the things you enjoy that you mentioned, hire a bike (do an organised group ride if you're nervous), go for walks, explore the local shops/ markets, book a day tour... otherwise it all sounds a bit miserable really.

It's worth a try. There's plenty of apartment style rooms that you can book. My partner snores and I have major sensory issues and I cannot stand it - we usually book somewhere that's apartment style and one of us will sleep on the sofa bed and the other in the bed (usually not much difference in comfort).

Chose somewhere that you can relax on a sun bed and go out and do things! Italy is amazing and a short flight so you can go for 4/5 nights. You can always go off and do your own thing

You’re doing holidays wrong if you think the only option is lying on a sunlounger gettinf drunk and looking at the view!
stay in the uk, book a property with 2 bedrooms that allows dogs. Stay somewhere where you can walk or cycle places, nice places to eat out, take a pile of books or movies you’ve not had chance to watch, enjoy a lie in, do a spot of sightseeing……you don’t need to go far from home to escape the daily drudge of life! I went away on my own earlier in year, only went about 90min from home, had a sea view, didn’t use the car all week apart to collect my chippy tea, did lots of exercise and lots of relaxing and junk tv watching, drank too much wine and sleep loads. Just not being at work was bliss!

would you consider going on holidays with someone that isn’t your husband?

Totally agree - I have to go for 2 weeks - dreading it.