I've been told to stop breastfeeding

[Thejoyfulstarisback]

This turned out to be long, sorry!

Some of you may remember a post I made over a year ago under a similar username. My milk hadn't properly come in by the time my baby was 4 weeks old. The paediatrician in the European country that I live in said she hadn't gained enough weight and to quit breastfeeding and put the baby on formula. I consulted a lactation consultant who devised a gruelling plan of pumping, breastfeeding, topping up with formula, taking supplements and setting alarms. It was intense and crazy-making but 10 days later, my milk came in fully and I was able to breastfeed exclusively. I'm still breastfeeding her at 17 months old.

I changed paediatrician last year, and took her for a check up today. She said my daughter's weight gain is a bit too much on the low side and I have to stop breastfeeding and give her stage 3 formula instead. She said breastfeeding should go on for '18 months maximum' and that cows milk has too much protein so she needs to drink 400ml of this toddler milk a day (at a cost of €2.50 a litre!).

My baby weighs 9.2 kg, and is 75.5 cm long. We don't have the baby books which kids get in the UK where you can track their growth. The Dr has it all on her computer and gives me a print out after every appointment, but they all get stuffed away in a random location so I don't know if there's been a big drop in centiles. She was 75 at birth but she has certainly stretched out since she started walking in April.

However, all my kids are slight, were compact babies and were never big bouncy kids. Myself and husband are slim and not very tall.

My baby is a great eater, and eats the same as the rest of the family. I sometimes mash her dinner with a splash of cream or mashed avocado for a little extra fat, or give her snacks like peanut butter and banana sandwiches, full fat yoghurt, cheese etc.

Up until recently, she has been breastfeeding all night but that has stopped a week or so ago. She has a squidgy double chin, a sticky out tummy, a very squashy bum and rolls on her thighs. Anytime I've told anyone what the doc said about the baby, they are shocked and have said 'but she is perfect as she is!' I agree, and feel like I have to go to extra effort to make my baby fatter than what she naturally is.

I contacted the previous lactation consultant who said the paediatrician is wrong about having to stop at 18 months, which I knew. She said she needs details of the weight and what my baby eats and we can have a consultation when she gets back from her holidays in a few days.

However, I would love to know what the amazing hive mind of mumsnet think. You guys got me through turmoil at the start of my breastfeeding journey. It was so tough that I don't want to stop before I'm ready or really actually need to. I want it to be on me and the baby's terms, not the doctor's. Obviously if I need to stop, I will, but I really can't see why I would need to.

Thanks for sticking with me!

That's actually so ignorant!

Sounds like you’re doing all the right things including the food you give her. Trust your own judgement. Change drs if you don’t feel supported. And that dr pushing a cow’s milk alternative…do what you believe is right.

Toddler formula is a con - there's nothing in it that your daughter can't get from a healthy balanced diet including breast milk or cow's milk or a vitamin fortified vegan milk. Formula companies invented "follow on" and "toddler" formulas to get around strict advertising rules stopping them marketing some of their products to parents of newborns. I'm going to sound like a conspiracy theorist here but the history of sneaky/aggressive formula marketing is crazy, I honestly wouldn't be surprised if your doctor is getting incentives from the formula company to promote it as better than boob or cow's milk...

If you use Instagram I'd recommend following thebreastfeedingmentor
She's a great advocate for breastfeeding as long as you're happy to and has loads of great facts about the benefits of it.

Yes this post is on the mark.

My husband said this too

Human milk is for human babies
she sounds like she has a great diet
agree with everything above about follow on milks being a con
ignore

Cows milk is for calfs. Breast milk is for human babies. Carry on with what you are doing.

This!

I wouldn't be taking my child to the paediatrician unless I had concerns, otherwise, you're just opening yourself up for this ridiculous uneducated personal opinions advice.

I had a similar breastfeeding experience to you, and because of the gruelling slog whilst exclusively breastfeeding, made me all the more determined to breastfeed as long as my child wanted to. The World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding until AT LEAST 2 years old. No baby needs formula beyond 12 months old and a breastfeed baby doesn't need it at all (unless for genuine medical reasons).

If I were you, I would NOT be giving my toddler this formula, but I would be ensuring my tot was having high calorie, healthy foods, anything to help with baby gaining weight, so as well as breastfeeding, some avocado, my baby hated avocado alone so I ended up having to mush it with banana. Porridge, made with whole goats milk (proteins in goats milk are more similar to human milk than cows milk). I usually stuck some banana in the porridge too. I basically ensured my dinky baby had lots of calories but healthy calories. In terms of drinks, I only gave water alongside breastfeeding but you could give goats milk too as they don't need formula at this age.

Hope you're ok.

I’d wonder if she has investment in the product she is pushing.
her advice sounds very bizarre to me is there anyone to raise it with to make sure she’s acting in the best interests of her patients and not herself

I don't know anything about breastfeeding past the first few weeks, mine were FF after that, but I do know young kids need milk and human milk is preferable to cows milk. Keep going as long as you want to - you'll know the right time to stop.

Everything that’s running through my head right now has been covered by others, but just here to give some support and empathy. The paediatrician is speaking horse shit. I’m a trained volunteer peer supporter and also work in the field. I’m so sorry for your experience with shit support across the board 💐

Myself and husband are slim and not very tall.

This is the crucial point. With DD1 I was worried because she was dropping down the weight percentiles (putting on weight but slowly). But she was born at the 75th percentile whereas DH and I are both short. Our local BFing advisor said 'looking at you and your husband, there's no way you are going to have big children and she has to reach her correct percentile at some point'. She's 15 now, 5'0" and a size 4. Eats like a horse, is very sporty and full of energy. I just was very good at growing babies, my other two were also big at birth but all are now very petite.

I wish my Health Visitor had had this common sense. My HV repeatedly raised concerns with my GP that I was starving my baby when everyone in my family is slim and petite. She was fucking ridiculous and took every ounce of joy out of having my precious baby. My tiny petite children eat like fucking horses and are sporty as hell. Screw you health visitor!!

👍

I had similar. Urgent referral to paediatrician due to dropping centiles in weight but not really paying attention to length. Paediatrician took one look at baby and then looked at me said "he's just short and you are not tall he's perfectly fine"

Disagree to need to stop breastfeeding.

Theres an app called growth where you can plot
your kids weight and height against the percentiles (like an electronic red book). Using it for 1 kid is free, additional kids you have to pay a one off cost of a few pound for open access.

Maybe add in some data or start if you don’t have it all to hand. Then you can track their growth to give you piece of mind

UK here. My 17 month old girl is the same weight and height percentile, and while a great fan of solids, still breastfeeds at night. She's lovely and squishy (my first had actual weight and allergy issues, and is still a giant, so i have perspective).

75g of fresh (not dry) pasta I assume as Italy?! Love that pasta is the breastmilk replacement, rather than cheese or yogurts 😅

Awful advice. I was still breastfeeding my daughter at that age — and it was an absolute godsend because she became seriously ill and it was the one food she could tolerate, not to mention being an amazing comfort during all the procedures she had to have.

As PP have said, it doesn’t stop being good for them past a certain age.

Time to change paediatrician!

I'd be ignoring this advice. And probably not bothering to go to future checkups.

Still breastfeeding my 2.5yr old. Weight at 17mo was similar to yours. Seems perfectly well. Lol at the advice to give pasta - my dc won't go near it!

You’re closer to the truth than you probably realise. When mine were born, 1976 and 1978 there was a campaign against Nestle for promoting formula feeding in poor countries. It was alleged they gave out samples then promoted formula to mothers who were too poor to buy enough so they fed it too diluted. Also, they didn’t have facilities for sterilising and it was alleged that babies died as a result. In the UK legislation made it illegal to promote first stage formula. It’s also the reason you can’t use vouchers/loyalty points for infant formula.

Im based in Ireland... A jump from 75th to 25th centile is weight is likely why they are trying to get you to stop breastfeeding which seems to be horrendous advice. If they drop two centiles as someone else as said it usually when they worry.

The centile itself means feck all as a stand alone figure, as it is based on an average therefore some babies have to be above and some have to be below. It's when you look at it with the other figures for your child. The same as if an adult suddenly jumped in weight or lost weight in a relatively short space of time!

And no to the forma. We are told to cut put formula by 12 months old.

I thought stage 3/ toddler milk was a big rip off and full of sugar, and cow’s milk was better? Unless she’s talking about some other kind of toddler milk?

@Twattle I agree ten fold. Some are actively anti breastfeeding and will try anything to put you off/get you to stop.

My GP told me my 9 month old didn’t need bread milk any more & said I should switch to formula now as “there’s nothing in breast milk after 6 months”. When I asked why a substitute would still be necessary then she became defensive and told me how her own children had thrived off formula. Was obviously triggered.

OP carry on BF for as long as you both want. If she’s lost weight then reducing calorie intake by stopping isn’t ever going to be a solution is it.