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Prom drama. Wish me luck...

49 replies

Frequency · 05/07/2023 10:41

And any tips on how to keep a hormonal and stressed 16yo calm would also be appreciated. We've already had one tantrum when lightening her hair last night after I told her we needed a second round of bleach if she wanted silver-toned hair.

DD fell out with all of her friends a few weeks ago. She's made new friends but unfortunately, she had arranged all of prom with her old friends (limo, hair, makeup, etc) and it was too late to book a new limo and a new MUA so she's stuck with my sister's Range Rover and my MUA abilities.

She's picked a really simple hairstyle and a really elaborate makeup look and will not budge on either. She's had her look planned for over a year. I am a hairdresser who has done a makeup course not an MUA who has done a hair course.

I need encouragement to channel my inner zen so I'm not tempted to "accidentally" stick her in the head with a rat tail comb. Makeup tips are also welcomed. She wants black and silver cat eyes with completely flawless skin and I think is expecting the look to be exactly like the photoshopped Pinterests she has found.

OP posts:
Georgieporgie29 · 05/07/2023 17:29

I’m glad it’s all worked out. I wish we could have a picture but I understand that would be too identifying, I bet she looks lovely though and will have a fab night

BlissedOutCat · 05/07/2023 17:30

Well done. I remember the trauma of prom too well.

Frequency · 05/07/2023 17:30

She's getting a lift home with her new friend. All their limos/cars were full on the way there but they have space on the way home for her.

@ReformedWaywardTeen Your daughter sounds awesome. I hope she has a great time at prom. Boys were involved in DD's falling out too, naturally. Someone's boyfriend sexted her and DD felt that telling the someone was the right thing to do. It was turned around onto her and she was made out to have deliberately seduced the poor, helpless 16yo boy Hmm

OP posts:
Mumoftwoinprimary · 05/07/2023 17:33

Wow - your dd is very lucky to have a mum with your skills! I write mathematical models for a living. In the same circumstance she would have to go to prom with her hair vaguely brushed, no make up and a print out of the first 500 prime numbers.

BorkityBork · 05/07/2023 17:37

Mumoftwoinprimary · 05/07/2023 17:33

Wow - your dd is very lucky to have a mum with your skills! I write mathematical models for a living. In the same circumstance she would have to go to prom with her hair vaguely brushed, no make up and a print out of the first 500 prime numbers.

🤣🤣🤣

Whendoesmydietstart · 05/07/2023 17:43

Your teem sounds cool @ReformedWaywardTeen!
My dd's was last year. She hates make up , girlie clothes and fussy hair (bodyshop staff call her "they" for context 🤣). She wore a trouser jump suit, flat shoes and neat hair, and looked lovely, but comfortable.
Hope your dd chills and enjoys tonight op.

SweetSakura · 05/07/2023 17:50

Mumoftwoinprimary · 05/07/2023 17:33

Wow - your dd is very lucky to have a mum with your skills! I write mathematical models for a living. In the same circumstance she would have to go to prom with her hair vaguely brushed, no make up and a print out of the first 500 prime numbers.

That would be my son's dream outfit to be fair Grin he loves maths!!

SweetSakura · 05/07/2023 17:51

I hope she has a lovely evening op, her eye makeup sounds fabulous! Friendship dramas are so horrible and stressful.

Bloodyleaverspartybollocks · 05/07/2023 17:55

ReformedWaywardTeen · 05/07/2023 15:42

DD fell out with their long-term mates just before GCSE but actually wasn't the one at fault. Typical story, boys got involved, DD is a lesbian, divide and conquer from one boy who thought (wrongly) that DD fancied her former best friend. All going to different college so although shitty now won't really matter too much come September.

However, DD is not a dress/make up/limo person. They are a Victorian/steampunk goth currently.

I'm trying to convince them to let me do their hair and make up but I keep getting comments about "subscribing to the patriarchy and societies view of what a woman should look like for aesthetic reasons when we have a brain, mother".

They've not gotten over me asking them to wear a bridesmaid dress at my wedding two years ago which they wore for 25 minutes.

They are wearing a 70s two tone flared suit, with an 80s highneck Victorian style blouse they found on Vinted, and Doc Martens.

They were offered a ride on a friend's Harley motorbike but said that was too "show off" so we are driving. They've already said of the music is chavvy they're coming home to listen to "decent music".

Honestly. Teens. I'd have been chuffed if my mum wanted to treat me to a nice dress and hair do.

That outfit sounds awesome.
I hope my DD wears similar when the time comes.

WizardinTraining · 05/07/2023 18:06

God that sounds so stressful but you did make me laugh about the quirky playlist 😂 I hope you both have a great evening - I’m glad my DD isn’t a teen any more!

Werewolfnotswearwolf · 05/07/2023 18:49

Aqua82 · 05/07/2023 15:24

Yeah, I'm sorry, point taken I wasn't thinking.

@Aqua82 the unintentionally very snappy tone is almost definitely due to the fact I am one of those teachers - two proms last week and staff party on Friday which will also be a supervisory role as SLT and arguably more difficult than prom 😂 roll on the weekend and a giant glass of wine!

I hope your son enjoys the prom.

ReformedWaywardTeen · 05/07/2023 18:51

Frequency · 05/07/2023 17:30

She's getting a lift home with her new friend. All their limos/cars were full on the way there but they have space on the way home for her.

@ReformedWaywardTeen Your daughter sounds awesome. I hope she has a great time at prom. Boys were involved in DD's falling out too, naturally. Someone's boyfriend sexted her and DD felt that telling the someone was the right thing to do. It was turned around onto her and she was made out to have deliberately seduced the poor, helpless 16yo boy Hmm

Oh no, that's awful! Poor thing will no doubt wonder why she bothered I bet.

She is awesome DD, even with their Great Thunberg levels of going on about the patriarchy and society being one sided against females.

I hope yours as an amazing prom

Frequency · 05/07/2023 19:34

She's there. She's met up with her new friends and went in looking very happy. BIL wore a shirt and tie so he could open the car door for her, like a professional chauffeur and he'd been and bought bows to decorate the car. DD felt very special.

She's very indignant about the thing with her friends. Her older sister is very much of the opinion that men and boys are not "poor" anything and are very much responsible for their own actions. She's rubbed off on DD in all the right ways. As they've both said even if DD had seduced the boyfriend his decision to sext her and send her unsolicited and unwanted sexual comments would still be his fault not her fault.

OP posts:
Augend23 · 05/07/2023 19:40

I'm really glad she's having a nice night!

I can see she must have been feeling very tense about it even if she knows she's in the right because I think at that age (and maybe at any age) it would feel like there's a pressure to show she's "living her best life" in spite of the fall out.

swanling · 05/07/2023 19:44

She's there. She's met up with her new friends and went in looking very happy. BIL wore a shirt and tie so he could open the car door for her, like a professional chauffeur and he'd been and bought bows to decorate the car. DD felt very special.

Aw that sounds lovely. Hope she has a great night.

AllOfThemWitches · 05/07/2023 19:49

We also listened to her "supercool and quirky" playlist. I wouldn't have heard of any of the artists because they're all "super random". Bands such as Black Sabbath, Slade, Metallica, Nirvana, and Guns n Roses

I genuinely thought 'aww' at this. Can tell I'm old. Hope she has an awesome time.

AllIwantforChristmas22 · 05/07/2023 19:53

Your daughters sound great and fun.

well done you and hope she has a lovely evening.

justawee · 05/07/2023 22:34

So chuffed you got there, I hope she has a great time.
OOh and you deserve a very large gin!

HazelE123 · 24/04/2024 14:47

x2boys · 05/07/2023 15:18

My son refused to.go.to.his prom ,but i.do.think.its much easier being the mother of boys on occasions like the Prom
There is so.much emphasis on girls looking spectacular .

Not when the boy has a girlfriend! Major drama here. His girlfriend wanted to choose what he would wear and us give her and her Mother a lot of money to go and buy it. We said no thank you. By all means go and have a look around at things, but it's an expensive purchase and if we're buying a suit we want to be involved and make sure it fits well. We wouldn't dream of telling her what to wear! He is being treated as a fashion accessory rather than a person.

I know proms are a big thing for girls but it was so disrespectful. And haven't heard the end of yet. Everything is being "dictated".

elliejjtiny · 24/04/2024 15:11

HazelE123 · 24/04/2024 14:47

Not when the boy has a girlfriend! Major drama here. His girlfriend wanted to choose what he would wear and us give her and her Mother a lot of money to go and buy it. We said no thank you. By all means go and have a look around at things, but it's an expensive purchase and if we're buying a suit we want to be involved and make sure it fits well. We wouldn't dream of telling her what to wear! He is being treated as a fashion accessory rather than a person.

I know proms are a big thing for girls but it was so disrespectful. And haven't heard the end of yet. Everything is being "dictated".

@HazelE123 that's awful, so controlling.

@x2boys my son has refused to go to prom this year. He has autism and the idea of being the centre of attention or, heaven forbid, being hugged was too much so he isn't going. I'll be glad when it's over tbh as at the moment it feels like he is the only one not going and it's another reminder that it's something else he can't manage. I know after its done I will be fine.

HazelE123 · 24/04/2024 15:26

Thank you for saying that. I thought it was awful too but was beginning to think it must be me. It's just common sense though isn't it? I wouldn't mind if there had been a discussion about it first. But it was dropped on us at 10pm one night to happen the next day Son said "it needs sorting out". I said - no it doesn't. There's plenty of time and some discussion needed first. Well no discussion - just dictated to. If it's like this with a prom ...............

HazelE123 · 24/04/2024 15:36

@elliejjtiny I'm sure he won't be the only one not going. Head of year told me most of the boys weren't interested or didn't want to go. I think it's all got out of hand.

elliejjtiny · 24/04/2024 18:06

@HazelE123 it's definitely got out of hand. Ds1 went to his prom 2 years ago, wore his Dad's suit that he always wears for weddings so it was a fairly standard one from m and s but with a waistcoat so he looked a bit fancier than someone just going to work in an office. We bought him some new cufflinks but nothing expensive. He went in our battered old car and came out playing his guitar because he was always playing his guitar and piano at school. Total cost about £15. At his prom there was a bit of a mixture of people who had clearly spent a fortune and people who hadn't and everything in between. Hope you manage to sort out a compromise with your son's girlfriend. I've been with dh since we were young and still doing prom like things. Dh always wore his own suit and we bought him a new bow tie to match the colour of whatever dress I was wearing. Would she accept that? It would be so much cheaper.

HazelE123 · 24/04/2024 18:49

elliejjtiny · 24/04/2024 18:06

@HazelE123 it's definitely got out of hand. Ds1 went to his prom 2 years ago, wore his Dad's suit that he always wears for weddings so it was a fairly standard one from m and s but with a waistcoat so he looked a bit fancier than someone just going to work in an office. We bought him some new cufflinks but nothing expensive. He went in our battered old car and came out playing his guitar because he was always playing his guitar and piano at school. Total cost about £15. At his prom there was a bit of a mixture of people who had clearly spent a fortune and people who hadn't and everything in between. Hope you manage to sort out a compromise with your son's girlfriend. I've been with dh since we were young and still doing prom like things. Dh always wore his own suit and we bought him a new bow tie to match the colour of whatever dress I was wearing. Would she accept that? It would be so much cheaper.

Thank you. Sadly there is no compromise. And son doesnt want to fall out with her over it (understandably but I don’t like that he doesn’t have any choice). I also suggested they could maybe a choose a bow tie to match her dress. (It has to be a bow tie). No it has to be black too. Not even a splash of colour! I feel sad about it as well as the cost. We don’t mind buying him a suit that could be useful in future eg if it was navy or dark grey but it hurts buying a black one as it’s not very versatile. I think she wants the full formal James Bond look. However I don’t think any other boys will have that look.

It could have been fun if he’d been allowed to decide his own outfit or work with us on some ideas. Eg I have some nice ties that were my Dad’s.

I am still in a state of shock over it all!

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