I’m sitting here at my daughters music recital- yes sitting here, not in the car, not in the foyer gasping for breath.
I struggle with panic/anxiety and claustrophobia- I’ve slowly worked my way though them and still working through them. But claustrophobia has wrapped a tighter grip around me to the extent I cannot fly to visit my mum and sister, and say goodbye to my dad (well his resting place as he passed during the worldwide hard lockdown)…but today I came to my daughters summer concert and the more I saw the hall fill up my thought was ‘get out’…I took the keys from my husband and started walking towards the exit when this tiny voice went ‘no, let’s stay for 1 min more’ I walked to the top of the seating and sat there- close to the stairs telling my panicky brain if we want we can leave- look you can see the stairs. Well I didn’t..I’m here listening and watching the whole thing/ I feel quietly proud of myself- I didn’t run away this time