Please tell me your most embarrassing fart story...

[fartfacenotfatface]

... and make me feel better about what happened to me earlier. I'm mortified.

I ate pizza and pop for lunch. Too much of both (it was a buffet and I'm greedy) and neither particularly agrees with me. I'm old enough to know better but hey ho.

Anyway, as the afternoon progressed, I found myself feeling rather windy. I needed to do a spot of shopping before heading home. At one point, I decided I was rather uncomfortable so headed to a distant corner of the shop I was in, to 'release the pressure'. Behind the display of men's jeans I let rip. Big time. Unfortunately, the mannequin I was stood next to turned out not to be a mannequin but a sales assistant wearing the same clothing as the T-shirts on display alongside . He totally looked like a mannequin until he moved to give me his best Paddington Bear stare.
Anyway, mortified is an understatement. I can never show my (fart) face in Fat Face ever again!

My incident was exactly the same as yours! Except it was Primark....

My sister was hosting a dinner party, and felt wind coming on! She popped upstairs into the front bedroom, and did a few loud farts. After the guests had gone, her DH told her they had heard every one! He said everyone sat in embarrassed silence......

I worked in a nursing home in my teens. We had a long sweeping staircase and as I went up I farted... But then proceeded to fart on every step... And as I assumed I was alone, which I was when I set off, I grabbed the rails each side and stuck my tush in the air as I ascended, farting quite merrily on every step up. It was only when I turned the corner, that I realised I was being followed by a group of visitors! 4 of them, all looking horrified and amused in equal measure! I win! 🤣🤣🤣

🤣🤣🤣

Oh I am crying with laughter here!! I will have to tell my husband this story - I haven't "sharted" before but he has

I had one brewing so I demonstrated to my 7 year old how to do a Johnny Fartpants, singing “listen to this, too good to miss Tra la la la”. It was not a fart. DS traumatized and my bathrobe ruined.

Just this week, working from home, I was in a group Teams call with some of the senior execs giving us the latest business update. I let out a truly immense fart, only to realise too late that I wasn't on mute. The person speaking at the time actually said "they say all feedback is a gift but I'm not so sure about that". One of my colleagues texted me to say that if I thought I'd got away with it I hadn't - apparently my screen icon changed colour to indicate I was "speaking" at the time the fart was transmitted.

Years ago DH and I went on a juice diet. That day, I'd tried juicing beetroots- which tastes pretty good BTW.
DH was already in bed and as I crept in the other side, thought a tiny fart was coming- but it wasn't just air! Out plopped a bright red/purple blob of poo or 'shart' as someone up thread said! 😱
I had to wake DH, strip the bed and remake the whole thing. We haven't juiced since that day!

Omg this is brilliant

I've unfortunately succumbed to the mid-orgasm fart when being pleasured by my partner 🫠 it wouldn't have been so bad but I literally couldn't stop laughing and it put both of us off 😂

Today my DS who has ASD was walking next to me down the street to our house and went "OH NO! MY BUM!" Then let a few very loud farts out. To be fair to him it's the lactulose not his fault 😂

I love a good fart story. I farted at work once and followed through. I managed to clean myself up in the toilets but a few people stepped away from me when I went near them 😬😬

🤣😂”speaking!”

That’s hilarious !