Dealing with criticism when overloaded at work

[Mephisneon]

I work both freelance and in a PAYE job. Both have been incredibly busy and stressful recently.

In particular I've been really going above and beyond in my freelance work. It's supposed to be a day per week and we did dicuss some flex in this as it's the start of the project. But it's been ofter double that.

I'm now really angry and upset by an email from the contract manager which I feel like is a slight criticism of my work. Along the lines of a tiny gap in some plans for something that hasn't happened yet. A bit like them saying did you not realise this needed doing.

I haven't replied yet but I'm really annoyed probably unreasonably so. As I've been busting my arse so honestly it feels like a cheek to pick up on a slight gap like this and in a bit of a pa way.

Does anyone else get like this at work? It's like you're full up and just think f off to anything remotely critical. How do you deal with it? I suppose not giving too much.

[Juanmartinez]

Do both sides know that you have 2 jobs ?

[Mephisneon]

Yes I work in the cultural sector where this is standard. What difference did you feel that would make?

[Mephisneon]

Anyone else?

[StrictlyAFemaleFemale]

That would really annoy me.

Not trying to make you feel worse but did you realise it needed to happen?

[SoftAsABearsElbow]

For me, it helps to step back and try to see a bit further into the root cause. In this case it sounds like the fact that this work is taking for more time than expected, means you are rushing to get everything done.

e.g. 'Thanks for flagging that to me. I can see this is a symptom of the issue we have with this work taking far more time than we first expected - lately double the original estimate. That means there is often not the time left to complete the smaller details like this in the plan. Can I suggest we pull this back to the original target which was for this to be 1 day a week?'

[Juanmartinez]

@Mephisneon

Yes I work in the cultural sector where this is standard. What difference did you feel that would make?

I just wondered if the contract manager appreciated or knew that you were snowed under with your other job.

[Doingmybest12]

I know that if I am querying something or flagging something I am trying to be helpful or covering my own arse. So I tend to assume others are doing the same unless there is history where they have been out of order. I answer accordingly or ignore if they are being a pain. But you know your sector best. I can't see the drama.

[Mephisneon]

Yes they def know about other job and issues.

So on whether I knew it needed to be done, it wasn't that a task hadn't been done. It was more like abut of a report or presentation missing type thing. But I had already checked in on my approach to the work. But also it's just draft form so nothing shared or done so not a big deal. Also I would say that I'm working with others on this project and it was probably an oversight on their part, which then as it wasn't mentioned meant I didn't include some things.

I think @SoftAsABearsElbow ia spot on in that it's a symptom of an issue of not enough time. Really what I've been doing is even though I'm spending lots of time on things it's not enough so there's still room for errors.

I suppose it basically pissed me off that I'm working my arse off and the thing that's picked up on is a tiny gap. I manage people too in various ways including having done freelancer management. I'd hope to be way more plugged into what was going on than this.

[Mephisneon]

@Doingmybest12

I know that if I am querying something or flagging something I am trying to be helpful or covering my own arse. So I tend to assume others are doing the same unless there is history where they have been out of order. I answer accordingly or ignore if they are being a pain. But you know your sector best. I can't see the drama.

It's not drama. I don't even really know what that means in this context, other than obviously trying to get a dig in.

It's a question about how you deal with something you perceive as criticism when overloaded at work, at least it's very unaware of my workload. I'm not sure how that's drama?

[Doingmybest12]

I meant- you said you are angry, upset and unreasonably annoyed by the message.

[Doingmybest12]

Sorry, im not helping. I hope others have a more helpful approach.

[Donotshushme]

You're overloading yourself by working for free.

[Juanmartinez]

I think you're 'just' snowed under, it's easy to get frustrated and fed up when you're stressed, especially when things seem a bit nit picky.

[Punkkitty]

I feel your pain so much and totally get where you’re coming from. Up to my actual eyeballs all day every day and unless I actually clone myself would never get everything done that needs done in my job. I constantly work extra hours to try and keep up with everything.

Managers fully aware but still get the ‘if you could just have a look at this/happened to notice you missed xyz etc etc’ emails. It’s the nature of my job though and the same for all my colleagues.

I’ve got to the point where I just do what I can. There’s very little appreciation for the extra effort and I’ve now figured out I would be getting the same emails anyway. Regardless of how much or little I do.

[SilverGlitterBaubles]

It's easy to get wound up if you are working hard and feeling undervalued. I find it's best to step back, try to see things from their perspective and send a response that shows you've taken on board what they have said while also pointing out that the task is more involved and taking more time than expected. It is important that the response does not sound defensive or snappy and is more about finding a more effective way forward.

[Mephisneon]

Some really sensible advice on here thanks. I think everyone is right and I knew it myself, regarding being easily wound up when you're overworked. Plus neededing to step back before saying or doing anything. As when you are caught up in being annoying you're not very rational.

I have a bit of work coming up this week which is a bit of a peak in the work I'm doing. I'd already thought about reflecting that although busy at the start of the project it's really been too uneven.

I just got back regarding the work bits to the email. So I can reflect on how rational I'm being. Plus actually look for something useful to say regarding level of work and my capacity.