Neurodiversity or something else?

[hey2o]

I know it’s impossible to internet diagnose but from the sounds of this would you say it’s possibly autism or just anxiety? Appreciate all input especially from ND mumsnetters & parents of ND kids

-Unusually large vocab from very young age
-Thought deaf as not responding to name at one year, taken for hearing tests, just selective hearing and responds when wants!
-Dislike to labels and seams in clothing, has to wear socks inside out and cut labels out of clothes
-Never made good eye contact. Feels too exposed and uncomfortable
-Diet limited in terms of fruit and veg, and preference to keep food separate and not touching
-Make lots of lists to not forget anything
-Must check the oven is off, doors are locked multiple times
-Eye for detail and very quickly notices spelling mistakes, registration plates
-Remember random strings of numbers
-Feel mentally exhausted - like when your brain is fried after an exam - just after socialising for a day
-Hate change (cried after leaving school, cried after my first day at every new job)
-Often last to the point of a joke and takes a while to figure out turn of phrase, for instance thought to be run over was a car actually running over something completely rather than just bumping into it & thought rainy day fund was for specifically shopping when it was raining and there’s nothing better to do
-Able to read between the lines quite easily
-Clocks/zones out and stares for minutes at a time if feeling overwhelmed
-Indecisive and dithers about decisions

I enjoy my job, I have always worked. I also have a great relationship. I question myself over all big life decisions and always have. Examples of this: I couldn’t wait to go to college and leave school, but when I got there I panicked at the change to environment and dropped out. I worried about moving out of my parents and spent the first two weeks in our lovely home crying each night feeling homesick thinking I’d made the wrong choice. We unexpectedly fell pregnant and despite always wanting to be a parent, I panicked at the change and terminated (there were a couple of other reasons but we’d have made it work, I was really just blindsided and overwhelmed by the change). I worried about getting married and one day changing my mind about this. Clearly my reluctance to change has really steered the course of my life, on more than a couple of times.

Does this sound like autism to anyone? It only occurred to me a few years ago but I shelved the idea though the more I read up on it the more it sounds like it could be me

I might not be on the right board!

Probably.

Probably autistic and on the wrong board.

I think you might be me🙃

Yes, you should seek a diagnosis (if you want to!).

(Autism researcher/teacher/mum of ND DC/probs autistic myself).

Thank you. I guess I’m still a bit worried about the stereotypes that come along with it

You would need to seek a diagnosis to be sure but you certainly have enough traits that it seems likely.

I agree with above.

please don’t rule out anxiety though as ASD and Anxiety occur together, and some treatments for anxiety do not work if the therapist doesn’t know you have ASD. For example CBT doesn’t work in ASD unless it’s ASD specific CBT.

@hey2o The stereotypes are outdated. Female autism presents differently to male autism (which presents differently still to the ‘stereotypical’ presentation).

Prof Tony Atwood is great at explaining ‘girl’ autism and has some useful YouTube vids.

It's pointless worrying about the stereotypes as if you have autism, you will still have it if you are undiagnosed. Diagnosis will give you a better understanding of who you are and probably ways to help you cope with the world. The NHS waiting list at the moment is likely to take donkeys years, so you might want to consider a private diagnosis if you want to find out at any point in the next few years.

Yes probably ND, also sounds exactly like me 😆

I waiver between thinking I’m autistic and thinking I have ADHD. I suspect it might be a combination of the two. I don’t have the energy to seek diagnosis (I’ve mentioned it to the gp and other professionals but I am massively demand avoidant so the thought of filling in forms/going to appointments etc. is just beyond me) but given my son is waiting for an assessment and I have other ND family members, I’m fairly confident.

I wouldn't be bothered about the stereotypes op - if people judge you then it tells you a lot about them as ableist asses who discriminate against disabled people.

Plus, I wouldn't mind betting that you have a high percentage of neuro diverse people in your wider circle. My DC1 is autistic. They didn't seem weird to me because well, they were just like me, but of course, it's just that I'm autistic too, although with very different strengths and weaknesses compared to them. Over the years nearly all my friends have realised that they have some kind of neurodiversity because like attracts like.

The language skills sounds like hyperlexia. Look at Auditory processing disorder for the slow processing of spoken word. Makes sure you're reading diagnostic criteria for your sex. Males present differently than girls.

Go out and find your own little community. Maybe look at online pages like Spectrumy, Neurowild and others

Does anyone know why cbt doesn't work for asd? Just wondering because I have heard that a lot, but not the reasoning why.

Try this

embrace-autism.com/autism-spectrum-quotient/

33, so borderline!

I think it’s because the whole premise of CBT is that there’s a perfect feedback loop in the brain between particular habitual thought patterns and the way you feel, therefore, you’re sad/anxious because you’re thinking this, that or the other: change your thinking on these and with practice you’ll start to feel happier…

Now, I’m already a bit sceptical as to the efficacy of CBT anyway; you’ll notice already how susceptible this field of treatment is to circular reasoning when it comes to validating its results. But it’s crystal clear that for neurodivergents, this thoughts/feelings feedback loop is either broken or inaccessible. Lots of ND people struggle to put their feelings into words so process them on a somatic or pre-verbal level. Some HF autistics find that their emotional perceptions come to them a bit back-to-front, and the dogma underlying most talking treatments is unhelpful. Still others feel that their particular challenges (e.g. OCD, sensory issues) are, like epilepsy, primarily neurological and not susceptible to psychological therapies.

@hey2o

I wouldn't be put off, as it were, by borderline score.

You're likely masking all the time and have been for years. This will also impact how you answer the questions and lead to false negative.

Assessment looks at everything and the all important developmental points.

Do it. I've done it recently. Now diagnosed aged 46 after head of MH shite.

Could also be ADHD, I was diagnosed at 49 a few months ago and I see some similarities. I felt liberated after my diagnosis. Like all my life I was told I was a horse and lived in a world set up for horses and I should be a better horse. Then I found out I was actually a zebra 😁

Sounds like autism to me.
I'm autistic and work with autistic people.