Hiring a housekeeper - what do I need to know?

[user6482959]

Appreciate this is a bit niche...

I'm a single mum, Dad lives abroad and not very involved, one pre-school age and one primary age DC.

No family to help and so far I've got by with a part-time nanny and a cleaner once a week, but I definitely need more help. My job is high earning but with that comes long hours, occasional travel, and generally being attached to emails/on-call 24/7.

Combination of my salary and DCs dad providing financial assistance, I'm thinking of hiring a live-in nanny-housekeeper. For those of you who have one, what do I need to know? What tasks can I give her? All the cooking and all the cleaning? Can I send her to the shops to do the groceries? I'm a total newbie.

I will speak with the staffing agency too but thought I'd ask the good folk of MN as well.

Watching with interest, OP. I need help (for me) for medical reasons (not personal care, but help with the daily living side of things).

I'm a bit daunted by the paperwork and becoming an employer tbh. I suppose I'd want to pay a self-employed woman like I'd pay a cleaner or a gardener.

Anyone here to help us?

Will she drive? If not I would do an Ocado shop. So easy.

I would put everything you want into the job description as you would with any role. Then it can be negotiated/revised if you can’t manage. Good luck, I would love this.

I don't think a nanny for a preschooler and primary aged child would do the housekeeper role as well. You need a live in nanny to cover all your childcare and they would do child related cooking, maybe the childrens clothing shopping and light tidying after themselves. Then a cleaner/housekeeper for a couple of hours a day to keep on top of the washing/ cleaning/ tidying/ organisation.
I guess you could ask the housekeeper to go to the shops, but much easier to have an Ocado pass and order on the app and just book it to be delivered when they are around so they put it away.
I have a housekeeper twice a week and she is brilliant. The agreed scope of her work is that DH and I don't need to think about the house, so she decides when to wash the curtains, reorganise the tins cupboard, to do a deep clean behind the sofas or whatever alongside the normal cleaning, ironing, bed changing, washing. Whatever she needs she tells Alexa to add to the shopping list so we don't have to think about that

Depends on whether the pre schooler is at nursery or not. If yes then a nanny/HK should work for you if not then you need separate childcare and domestics until they are/go to school. At those ages I had a housekeeper and a nanny until the younger was 2 and a half and at full time nursery attached to older DC's school. The I got a nanny/HK who did the following:-

All cleaning and laundered/ironed/put away everyone's clothes & towels.
Sent out the sheets to dry cleaners and checked them back/put away
Cooked simple tea for DC after school (usually made enough for me & DH if we wanted it.) Washing up/dishwasher loading and putting away.
Added stuff needed (eg cleaning stuff) to food order and was in to put it all away. Used that time to do a weekly check through use by dates in fridge and clean it.

If I wasn't around then she did afternoon school run, fed children their tea, supervised until I got home.

I did reading, homework, music practice, bath and bed.

I think this is about as much as you can expect from a nanny HK. I can strongly recommend the Staff of Distinction/Imperial Nannies group of agencies for looking for the magic unicorn that is the perfect nanny/HK.

Do you have childcare in place and want the housekeeper to do household chores?
My friend’s housekeeper does the housework, shopping, food deliveries, can cook
if my friend wants it, some of the laundry (they use a pick up service as well).

Put an add on your local Facebook page with all York what's and needs and then negotiate.

You can get sample contracts online and adapt them.

Remember though as they will be an employee, they will need all employee rights eg sick leave, maternity leave, redundancy pay if it comes to it

I love MN for this. It's like a little view into another world.
In my next life, I'm going to be someone who can have a housekeeper - it sounds amazing 🤩

It's not amazing. I had one. She quietly attempted to take over so many aspects of my life. I'd set firm boundaries. I'd not be too grateful when she did extra jobs. I'd not be too welcoming or open about my house. Once they are in you are reliant on them. I had to wait and watch for ages before I was in a position to get rid of her. It looked so enviable but it was an absolute nightmare.

You don't know you're born love

Oh dear, that doesn't sound so good. I admit, I have absolutely no concept of what life might be like with a HK, so I wasn't considering any potential pitfalls.

I work long hours, in a low paid job, so the idea of having someone around to sort the drudgery of the daily grind sounds idyllic. But I realise the reality will be different.

I agree that with two v young kids you can’t really have a nanny/housekeeper. At that stage I had a full time nanny and a 5 day a week mornings only housekeeper. She was basically a glorified cleaner also but did a bit of cooking and all the laundry and ironing (except children’s laundry which was for the nanny). I would do online supermarket shops but they would come when she was there and she would put away. Would also keep track of things we needed and add to the list.
Then when kids all got to secondary school I ditched the nanny but kept the housekeeper. As kids have gone off to uni and DH working much more from home, she has transitioned down to 3 half days a week which suits her as she is near retirement age. I’m still working 5 days/week.

Thanks MN!

Sorry, to clarify, the pre-schooler is 4 and is at kindergarten half-days every day of the week, so this is where our part-time nanny comes in doing the afternoons to help me. But come September, the 4yo will be starting Reception but I still need someone to cover 3pm-onwards and after school club till 4/4.30pm just doesn't cut it.

Helpful! Thank you

Domestic abuse, single mum. Yes I do. She was in my bed one day.

She didn't just sort the drudgery. She swooped in and stole the fun too. Like having a really intrusive mil.