Ham sandwiches & kids

[Thrupo]

My DS has ASD and his diet is pretty limited, not as limited as some but quite hard work all the same. The only lunch he will eat is rolls/sandwiches and the only filling he will eat is ham, which I really don't like him having every day due to the fact processed meat is a carcinogen. He likes chicken so I've tried him with a chicken sandwich but no good. Cheese he won't eat.

DH says plain buttered rolls or bread would be better than ham but then I worry he doesn't get enough protein (won't drink milk, will eat a yoghurt here and there though).

Any bright ideas? How much processed meat do your kids have? I'm not a huge meat eater myself but probably have bacon or chorizo once a week, sometimes twice (which DS himself won't eat, he only eats ham).

I thought about trying veggie ham but I don't think he would eat it. And obviously it is also highly processed.

We've been to one. He does take vitamins :)

I have a child in my class who literally, all year, has had 2 dry rice cakes for his lunch. All year 🤷‍♀️ that's it!! And he will only eat a limited number of dry food at home. He's extremely malnourished (in appearance, obviously I can only give my outside observer opinion, but it's based on 30 years as an education professional and a parent, and it's clear to see that this child is very under weight, exceptionally tired and doesn't perform well academically, so there are some indications that their limited diet may be a factor).

Your DC seems to be doing ok in comparison...chose your battles OP! This isn't one of them!

you can buy nitrate free ham which i think is much less carcenogenic

He's not quite underweight, stays just the right side for his height. I find he is very noticeably slimmer than other children his age.

Would he eat Quorn ham? It looks basically the same and is much less worrying carcinogen-wise

I'm trying to find the stats, I saw them the other day, but the actual increased cancer risk for processed meats is X huge amount every day, meant 1 extra bowel cancer case per hundred.

As pps have said, buy the best you can afford, and don't worry. Entire generations are brought up on ham.... especially in Southern Europe, a fact conveniently omitted when discussing Mediterranean diets.

Just be careful of allergies though, Quorn gives my DD breathing difficulties and gives me the shits

OP I'm another one who says pick your battles.

Mother of ASD teen. Over the years he's gone through:

Only cheese sandwiches
Only ham sandwiches
Only chicken leg and plain noodles
Only noodles with soy sauce
Pizza, but only one type from a specific shop
Only homemade pizza no shop bought.

The only vitamins are from an occasional cherry tomato and a hidden veg pasta sauce I make him in the nutribullet which has not a fleck of fibre left in it.

He won't take multi vits, won't take antihistamines though he needs them and refuses any school vaccinations including the flu squirt.

AND as he's now at secondary, he can buy himself junk everyday from the tuck shop.

He won't use the school canteen but will eat processed turkey on white bread for lunch at school.

But in the background of all of this, he's been trying to figure out his brain, his social abilities, coping with school and puberty.

Let your child eat the ham. If give my right arm for my child to eat wholemeal rolls, cucumber and ham!

Oh God this reminds me of my 3 DC.

They're all NT but every one of them insisted on ham sandwiches day in and day out.

They're all adults now and rarely eat it, probably because it reminds them of school 😂

I'm another one who says pick your battles OP.

Ham isn’t great as processed foods can increase the cancer risk, but it’s a food he will eat within a very limited diet and poor diet can cause health issues in itself. I wouldn’t worry about it too much in the short term, but would work towards changing it in the long term.

Maybe alongside his ham sandwiches give him some plain or breaded chicken that you know is a safe food for him and that long term could become an alternative filling to ham. Put no pressure on him to actually eat it, just serve it every day alongside his safe lunch (on a separate plate if needs be). Over time (and it may be weeks or months) it may be that he begins to accept this food and consider trying it. Once he’s eating the plain chicken with his lunch, serve a small chicken sandwich alongside his safe ham sandwich lunch, again with no pressure to eat it. Again, over time you may find he is willing to try it and then to happily eat it. If he gets to the point he’s eating it you can then swap one ham sandwich for on chicken one, and then eventually phase out the ham altogether.

Taking a very very slow approach, serving new lunch foods alongside current safe ones and letting him make changes at his pace are more likely to be successful for a child with autism than trying to swap out foods immediately.

Is sliced ham from a deli counter any better than pre packed?

We buy an unsalted gammon joint from the butcher, if that's an idea.

It sounds a reasonable varied diet to me. My DH eats KFC only, every single meal. That is restricted. To be fair he does also make his own fried chicken and chips too, but no vegetables ever.

I understand your worry about the ham but honestly, it doesn't sound like a terrible lunch. It could be a lot worse! Hopefully at some point he can be less rigid about what he eats, but you can make small adjustments. Get the least processed / cured version you can. This is quite a balanced view of the nutritional properties vs carcinogenic properties:

www.bbcgoodfood.com/howto/guide/top-5-health-benefits-of-ham

I think taking the pressure off and not constantly critiquing or winding yourself up with worry will help in the long run. He's a healthy weight, he eats a variety of foods, albeit limited. These are positives. You can work on it very slowly and gently as people have suggested.

My son has the same breakfast day in and day out - but eats well at other meals, so on the whole I let it go.

Try some ‘better’ ham from a local deli or butcher (some have cold cuts too) as a compromise. I certainly wouldn’t turn this into a battle.

Everything in life is a cost/risk analysis

Is he more likely to incur health problems from eating a ham sandwich everyday or is he more likely to incur health problems from not getting enough protein or diversity in his diet?

Give him the ham sandwiches

My 6 year old is an extremely selective eater. I worried about protein endlessly, as he won't eat ham, cheese, milk, mear or any protein in sandwiches, but he does love carbs and butter. I give him fortified soya milk and vitamin, and try to push the proteins he will eat, but the biggest relief for me was discovering that some bread products he likes are significantly higher in protein than others, because of the type of flour that is used. So the average bagel contains 8.5 grams of protein compared to a crumpet or slice of toast which is around 3 grams. A bakery pretzel contains around 9g of protein, he loves both bagels and bakery pretzels so this was a big relief to me. I worked out by including the bread products he ate with the other protein foods he will eat (sausage, houmous, peanut butter, frozen peas (not cooked!), Babybels, yoghurt, soya milk) that he is getting over the minimum amount of protein requirement, so I stopped worrying about him having to have a sandwich filling and let him have bread and butter or buttered crackers and it's really taken the stress off.

Other snacks I buy that my son will eat that have slightly higher than normal protein content than regular versions are Peppa Pig lentil crisps (a bit like Wotsits, I've seen them in Asda and Lidl), Pea Snaps (my son has stopped eating them since they stopped selling ready salted version but you might have better luck and they are significantly higher in protein than other crisps), Kalo protein lentil cakes, Good and Honest popped veggie crisps (these are like thin salted rice cakes with dried peas and beetroot mixed in, but my son can't tell what the coloured bits are and surprisingly likes them), The Daily Crave Himalayan lentil chips, (the last two I get from Costco.) He will also eat frozen peas but only if they are still frozen, and sometimes he will eat edamame beans. He mostly just liked to pop them and leave them but will have the odd few so I persevere.

Try writing a list of all the snacks and food he will eat and then adding up the protein content in each and working out if there really is a deficit or not compared to the recommended grams per day based on his age. You might find there is something he eats a lot of that has more protein in than you realised.

Oh another tip I saw but have yet to try, is to add bone broth powder to the water when cooking plain pasta or rice. Apparently this adds a lot of protein without any flavour, but I've yet to find a protein powder that isn't a big expensive bulk box and I'm worried my son wouldn't accept it. An alternative would be to make your own bone broth.

Agree

What vitamins do you give him please?
My DD is the same as refuses to take vitamins.

Yes processed meat isn’t ideal and is a carcinogen but it’s a lot better than most other things.

I know an autistic boy who only eats chocolate, crisps or McDonald’s chicken nuggets and that’s all he has all day every day.
So already your sons diet is way healthier.

My DD would only eat ham sandwiches and then I managed to get her on to eating processed chicken wraps.
Then eventually she went onto gammon ham sandwiches and chickens wrap using non processed chicken.

I would make separate meals and put a small amount of what I was eating on a separate plate for her to try.
Sometimes she point blank refused and sometimes she took the tiniest bite but I didn’t push it.

She goes to mainstream school and as she gotten older she is a bit embarrassed by her restricted diet and so pushed herself to try new foods.

She is still very restricted but it’s completely different to what it was a couple of years ago.

A ham sandwich is not that bad so please don’t be too hard on yourself or worry too much.
So many things have potential carcinogens and I think him having a reasonably balanced diet is much healthier even with the ham.

If it’s any consolation, that is a far, far more varied diet than my ASD son, so I think you’re doing well!
Id give him the ham.

i just think all this carcinogenic stuff is bull. My grandparents lived until 95 and 92 and were fed on carnation tinned milk, ate tinned ham all their life, lived through the war on rations eating god knows what. Honestly just give him what he wants and don't stress.

I would try to avoid having processed red meat at other times, but if he will just eat ham sandwiches then I'd give him a ham sandwich. I can see why you're concerned, but as long as he isn't having loads at other meals in addition to it then it's not the worst thing in the world.

As a pp said look up how much protein your ds needs in a day and calculate how much he is actually getting. Most people easily exceed the recommended amount. It may be that by swapping a few products your ds can get all the protein he needs without the ham, which could then give the option of sometimes leaving out the ham and just giving bread and butter. Will he eat seeded bread? That's higher in protein.

Same here! Though it can also include peanut butter.