Anyone up?

[Flippertityfeck]

Just managed to have a row at 2am - having been asleep. I think dh is trying to send me mad. Stupid idiot I am - became a sahm 16 years ago and I’ve sidelined myself out of life. I do everything I can to help my kids but he seems to have persuaded the youngest that I’m awful and don’t do enough for them. And I’ve played into their hands because dd (age 12!) just woke me with anxiety (very regular occurrence) and on the basis I’ve spent the weekend being told I’m horrible & mean & useless I made dh get up. Of course he (for the first time) has got up to sort it and has made out I’m an insane uncaring monster. Fuck sake . Sorry, just ranting here😖

Sorry Op he sounds an arse. How long has he been putting you down?

Can you try & get back into work after the summer holidays? Even part time woyld be a start.

Sorry your husband is being a dick. I agree start the process of getting back into work and doing something for yourself. Sounds like you are not appreciated by him at all.

Ah, thank you for replying. Yes, I’m almost at the end of a professional qualification and am really hoping to be in work by October (if I can find somewhere that will have me). I cannot wait!!! They’re going to get a hell of a shock not having me there to cater for everyone’s every whim (dh more than the kids to be honest!)

Good for you OP. Between now and then I’d also try to make some changes to how much you do for DH if he is not appreciative and is treating you like shit. Do not go above and beyond for him if he is not even respectful to you.

It sounds like you're not feeling appreciated. Hope they DO get a rude awakening when you start work and they realise you did actually do a lot for them after all!

Hope you're ok. Solidarity ❤

Well done for that Op. Fingers crossed for a new role.
Make it very clear you will no longer be doing everything. During the school hols get the kids into a routine of their own chores or a rota. And stop doing so much for "d"h. Make them all take their clean washing & put it away. If you cook they can all wash, dry & put away. Or load dishwasher & clean kitchen etc whilst you put your feet up or go soak in the bath.

Get them used to it before you start work so you are not frazzled.

The funniest bit so far has been that it’s apparently MY disorganisation in the mornings that means getting in the car to go to the bus stop is stressful. I’m the one up at 6:15 while dh is barely out of bed by 7:45…. I’m feeling a bit gleeful about the thought that when I have a job I’ll be off and out early and he’ll be doing breakfast & the bus run…

Hold on to that thought..

They're about to get a RUDE awakening 😁

I’m the one up at 6:15 while dh is barely out of bed by 7:45…. I’m feeling a bit gleeful about the thought that when I have a job I’ll be off and out early and he’ll be doing breakfast & the bus run…

🤣🤣🤣

Sounds like you have life on track. How soon before you can ditch him?

Thank you @CoffeeBeansGalore - I’ve already been trying to get the routine all sorted. One kid has nailed it (they get up when I do at 6:15), another is pretty slow but gets there independently, sadly the other seems utterly incapable even with me constantly reminding, helping & chivvying.

Hiya @Flippertityfeck , I’m awake as I just had a nightmare and now I can’t sleep. I’m so sorry to read about your troubles but I can see that you have a light at the end of your tunnel. I went back to work at 40 and it was fantastic. I’m not sure what you do about your DH. You definitely deserve better. 💐

Thats great to hear @Groutyonehereagain - I feel so nervous that it’s going to be difficult to ‘start again’ at 40+ but the fact that you and others have managed it means I know it’s possible and there are employers out there who hopefully won’t hold being mid 40s against me🤞

Oh and I’m sorry about your nightmare, really hope you can get back to sleep soon!!

Thanks. 🌻