We agreed to keep it quiet

[Dotandtime]

Very early days with a new man. He's someone I've been friends with for a really long time, so we've agreed to take things slowly and keep it quiet for now, in the hope that if it doesn't work out, we can still be friends without awkwardness in our shared circle of friends.

Anyway, we've booked to go away for a weekend. We had agreed not to make this public knowledge for now. He's told his best friend. Best friend is married to a woman who is best friends with our group's biggest gossip.

How long do you give it before it's "out"?

I know he only did it because he's like an excited puppy and he really is oddly very close to this friend, but it's not a great start....

[LaBefana]

Already out, I bet.

[Dotandtime]

Yes, I expect so but I intend to keep pretending that I don't know they know 😆

[EvenmoreDetermined]

Problem is if you try and not make something public, but you regularly talk to the people you are keeping it from it can easily slip into lies, perhaps the best friend asked him what he was doing that weekend with a view to meeting up, yes you can reply with 'oh, I'm busy' but in general chat they might then say 'oh, what are you up to' I met DH at work and we planned to keep it quiet for the same reasons but felt like we were sneaking around and telling fibs, it was easier once everyone knew.

[Dotandtime]

@EvenmoreDetermined

Problem is if you try and not make something public, but you regularly talk to the people you are keeping it from it can easily slip into lies, perhaps the best friend asked him what he was doing that weekend with a view to meeting up, yes you can reply with 'oh, I'm busy' but in general chat they might then say 'oh, what are you up to' I met DH at work and we planned to keep it quiet for the same reasons but felt like we were sneaking around and telling fibs, it was easier once everyone knew.

Yes, I get that, but that's not what happened here. I was there when he told him. He was excited to tell him about the trip, ie where we're going and then told him who he was going with. He hadn't been asked anything. I expect my face was a picture 😆

[Dotandtime]

I know we wouldn't have been able to keep it quiet for long, but I was hoping we'd manage until we know if the weekend is a success.