Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Changing my title at the bank

28 replies

TreesandFish · 30/06/2023 21:35

I have been divorced for 8 years, but my bank card still says Mrs. I never changed my name when married, so the name is correct. My passport says Ms, and so do my driver's license, mortgage, etc. So today I popped into HSBC to see if they can issue my cards as Ms. I was quite surprised to hear they need to see my Decree Nisi. What? First time I am actually going to use that piece of paper. Is this normal that the need to see that just to address me as Ms? in this day and age where people change gender every 3 minutes, it seems a bit much.

Is this normal?

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 30/06/2023 21:39

I’d ask why you need a title

GCWorkNightmare · 30/06/2023 21:39

Titles have no legal relevance. I’ve been Ms for over 25 years and married for 19 of those. Tell them that you wish to use Ms, which you are perfectly entitled to do, and suggest you’ll move banks if they don’t change if for you then and there.

Doggymummar · 30/06/2023 21:40

I just have first name last name no title

GrumpyPanda · 30/06/2023 21:44

...so if you were still married they'd be fitting you to use Mrs to denote you're some bloke's property? They're full of shit. Don't you dare provide documentation.

Original poster
TreesandFish · 30/06/2023 21:44

Thank you. I am actually checking their web site and they say "no document needed", so why they clearly need to train their staff better. What a waste of a trip that was!

OP posts:
Original poster
TreesandFish · 30/06/2023 21:45

I am getting more and more pissed off the more I think about it. I have been banking with them since 1993 and I am quite tempted to just leave

OP posts:
Reugny · 30/06/2023 21:48

Leave and when you sign up with your new bank use "Ms" as your title.

And don't be afraid to tell your current bank you left due to their sexism. Point out in the 21st century women don't need to tell them their marital status.

BigFloppa · 30/06/2023 21:50

I changed mine with nationwide and didn't need any documentation!!

tortir · 30/06/2023 21:54

I found 'miss' on my prescription label recently. I've never used that not even as a young teenager.

I find that more formal organisations will ascribe a title to you without checking or going by your wishes, even after being told or reminded. I wish we could just dispense with them entirely in this day and age. Annoying.

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 30/06/2023 21:59

Same here. I gave up in the end and left it as Mrs.
Tesco changed my title on my credit card over the phone, no issues.

SavBlancTonight · 30/06/2023 22:23

This is piss poor training from HSBC. I had this at barclays many many years ago when the woman st the bank.told me I "had to switch to Mrs" as dh and I were married. Let's just say I didn't take it well.

dontgobaconmyheart · 30/06/2023 22:26

This would annoy me. Incredibly frustrating that it has been/will be a pain but on the bloody principle of it I would want it done or would consider banking elsewhere, especially with so many banks offering cash to switch.

Oldraver · 01/07/2023 11:55

I've had this, people demanding my decree whatever as I wanted to change to Ms Maiden name

I wasn't changing as I was divorcing anyway. All of the Mrs stuff is courtesy anyway not legal binding but some people get their knickers in a twist over it. There are no 'shoulds' in this area

itsmylife7 · 01/07/2023 12:02

TreesandFish · 30/06/2023 21:45

I am getting more and more pissed off the more I think about it. I have been banking with them since 1993 and I am quite tempted to just leave

Go back in and tell them to change your title to Mr. 😆

PlainJanePerfect · 01/07/2023 13:07

I had this happen at Natwest years ago. And when I was married I never went by Mrs except on this one bank card!

They wanted documentation, and I have to say it was a proper Let Me Speak to the Manager moment. Manager apologised and new bank card was shortly in the post.

Chatillon · 01/07/2023 13:19

You get to keep hereditary titles when married so on divorce you can still call yourself The Honourable Treesandfish Jones or, as the case may be, Lady Treesandfish Jones.

Try to get the bank to change your title to one of those.

Original poster
TreesandFish · 13/07/2023 18:32

In case anyone is interested, this is sorted. I went in again ready to speak to the manager, but I found a perfect reasonable employee who went "sure, I'll change that now for you"

OP posts:
imnotwhoyouthinkiam · 13/07/2023 18:37

I think bank staff make the rules up as they go along. My son was told they couldn't change his title to Lord, despite it being his title. He went in again a few weeks later and they did it there and then!

gogomoto · 13/07/2023 18:42

I had the same issue. No idea why they need paperwork as surely any woman can use ms!

Kazzyhoward · 13/07/2023 18:43

Reugny · 30/06/2023 21:48

Leave and when you sign up with your new bank use "Ms" as your title.

And don't be afraid to tell your current bank you left due to their sexism. Point out in the 21st century women don't need to tell them their marital status.

Nice idea, but the counter staff won't give a toss about your reason etc and will forget you as soon as you walk out of the door.

EversoDetermined · 13/07/2023 18:56

I had this with Lloyds too, I just wanted to switch from Miss to Ms (no divorce or change of surname) but they wanted proof of which there was none because I've never been able to change my driving licence from Miss to Ms either. I left Lloyds in the end, although not for that reason, but I have still got their credit card with Miss on.

TheIsleOfTheLost · 13/07/2023 20:00

Ohh that would give me the rage! I find it utterly ridiculous that men are granted adulthood from about 10, whereas women are automatically continued as a child title until they are "owned" by a man. I started changing everything to Ms a few years back and no one has refused me yet.

Kazzyhoward · 14/07/2023 07:14

TheIsleOfTheLost · 13/07/2023 20:00

Ohh that would give me the rage! I find it utterly ridiculous that men are granted adulthood from about 10, whereas women are automatically continued as a child title until they are "owned" by a man. I started changing everything to Ms a few years back and no one has refused me yet.

Not quite true. My son's bank account stayed calling him "master" on his bank card, bank statements, etc., after he turned 18 and the bank converted it to an "adult" account automatically. It took a lot of phone calls and branch visits to get them to change it - took several months! The fact is, this isn't about mysogyny, it's bank staff incompetence/ignorance, not knowing their own rules & procedures and basically making things up to what they think is right rather than what is right.

Peony654 · 14/07/2023 07:22

I’m surprised as I just went into branch and asked for cards with a different title - no documents required. Cards came in the post

orangeleavesinautumn · 14/07/2023 07:25

This is so annoying. I had a credit card issued in the name of Ms Orange Leaves. I was never even asked my title!

I am Miss Orange Leaves

when I pointed out the mistake they refused to change it saying they needed to see proof that I am Miss, and nothing I offered was proof enough.

I closed the account, and took out another credit card that put my correct title on

Swipe left for the next trending thread