I want everything to stop, totally overwhelmed

[gregandjennysrejects]

I can’t keep going. I’m so tired. I don’t want to die I just need a break.

I have access to crisis team etc but I don’t think there’s much they can do, they’ll tell me to have a shower or a cup of tea and a biscuit.

My support worker told me tonight she’s going on AL for the next two weeks, and my closest friend has gone a bit ‘off’ the last fortnight, and I’m so tired and can’t face another weekend entirely alone.

Are you alone as in no family with you to share the weekend?

What are you fed up with - work, health, money?

Hey op, I'm sorry you're struggling. Keep talking x

Sorry you’re having a tough time, is there anything you want to talk about here? x

No family around, no. I have got family but they’re all too far away and I don’t know how to tell them I need company. It would be a problem if I asked, I think.

It’s all sorts of things, grief, work, responsibilities, all sorts.

Is it just this weekend you need to get through and you know it will get better or is this what’s it like to be for a while?

I don’t mean to be nosy, just trying to keep you company and chat.

I think it’s going to be like this for a while. I get so overwhelmed by the stuff that I need to do that I never get started on doing it. And then when I try to do stuff I have panic attacks so I don’t get anything done.

My support worker said I’ll be fine for the next two weeks and to promise her I’ll take care of myself, but we normally talk every day and I’m going to miss her a lot in the next two weeks.

I am really sorry, no expert but if you do need to have things done, can you just pick one, break it up in to chunks and cross them off the list. Each one is a win.

At work I often feel like this and just writing a to do list helps, dumping on paper and out of my head.

Is it anything we can help you on here?

Do you have the calm app? Could you download it and listen to it in bed? Alternatively they have some videos on YouTube.

You can't do much about things realistically tonight.

So: hot shower
Low lighting in bedroom
Calm app ) emergency SOS calm (it's 4-5 mins but really helps). The sleep stories are good too.
Then the radio on or a podcast. I highly recommend 'It's a fair cop' on Radio 4 as a good light-hearted distraction.

Then, set up your radio to go off instead of a normal alarm so that you wake up to voices.

Re motivation:
Achieving things lifts the mood enormously. Think of one thing that you could do when you get up that you have been putting off or need to do. Write it down tonight and commit to doing it for ten minutes tomorrow morning shortly after you get up (it could be doing the laundry/ten mins of housework etc). I find that how I start the day off makes an enormous difference. I get easily overwhelmed and procrastinate. Sometimes I just need a tiny uncomplicated plan (such as getting a pen and paper out, before making a cup of tea, so that I can make a to do list after breakfast. Think small, really small. Then after you have started off the day, got up, got dressed and ticked off your ten minutes of whatever, then use that motivation to pick up the phone/call family or friends. A phone chat can be really helpful too.

Sorry to hear things are coming down on you. It's shit when that happens. We're here if you want to offload xx

Btw, I'm having CBT for anxiety and low mood and also suffering from lots going on (husband was in a coma, but now suffers chronic fatigue, dad and sister terminally ill , ill health myself, kids to look after, dog just died etc). The advice that I wrote above has been the most helpful things that have helped me. I can now manage much better as a result. Focus on time given to an activity rather than getting it achieved. That way you will still feel a sense of achievement for making a start and completing a time slot.

thabks so so much. Your list isn’t a million miles off mine (parent with terminal illness, another bereavement, sibling with complex issues who despite having carers needs support every couple of hours from me right now.) Absolutely exhausted. It’s so bloody hard, I’ve upset sibling tonight as I told her I need a break - she’s phoned ten times today telling me all her worries and asking me for advice to sort them all, but I’m absolutely exhausted. She won’t phone anyone else other than me.

Focus on time given to an activity rather than getting it achieved. This is good advice, recognise your input not just outputs.

But perhaps this weekend given all you have on it should be just about self-care, anything else can wait.

You can call Samaritans for a chat, and they'll arrange a call back, that might help you feel less alone.