Been made redundant and struggling to cope

[ilovetomatoes]

i was made redundant a month ago. More of a political decision by my manager who doesn’t like me than a genuine redundancy.

I’ve worked at my company for a long time, senior position. I’m really struggling to cope. Tearful and depressed all the time. I’ve been actively looking for another role but at my level it takes time and I’m not getting a lot of responses which is making me feel worse.

feel like a complete failure. People who I thought were friends have completely ignored me.

I need to work so can’t take much of a break. The pressure is overwhelming.

any positive to stories to help me?

It’s a line on a balance sheet, don’t take it personally. Redundancy means they can’t directly replace you, so it really wasn’t YOU they wanted to get rid of, it was the position. Doesn’t make you a failure at all.

Did you get a decent pay out to see you through? It’s mostly a decent job market so fingers crossed you will find something soon, if you can afford to take some time then do. Good luck!

Did you get a decent package?

See your GP if you’re struggling.
And take any job to pay the bills.

Thanks. Yes decent payout should last be a while. I’m already on antidepressants because work has been so awful this year and I’ve been treated so badly by my manager.

I’ve always been highly regarded and had a great future ahead of me. In the space of 6 months it’s disintegrated and I’m on the scrap heap.

Taking any job would look odd on my cv. Im being rejected by AI boys without even speaking to a human. Soul destroying.

AI Bots

Maybe get some professional help with your CV? Or are there recruitment consultants in your field? If you’re applying for jobs where you meet all the criteria but aren’t getting through the initial screen then maybe you could be putting your experience across better and a few tweaks will yield results.

Seriously though, loads of people get made redundant. It’s happened to me when the company made a strategic decision to withdraw altogether from that area of business. In some industries it’s almost a given it’ll happen to you at least once. There’s zero shame in it. It does not mean that there is anything wrong with you, or you’re on the scrap heap. If you’ve been there long enough it does mean a nice tax free pay out- easiest money I ever made, had an amazing holiday! And I got a better job with nicer colleagues when I otherwise wouldn’t have been looking. Obviously stressful at the time but with hindsight it was all really positive.

@ilovetomatoes you are too emotionally involved in your former workplace. Let them go. You were replaceable to them.

Use this time to rebuild yourself. Your confidence and you positivity.

Then, start applying again. Could you even be a consultant and start your own business?

This is not the end of your career. This is an emancipation from a toxic workplace and former manager.

You are not done, you are free.

Take a month or two to recover from the shock, unfairness of what happened and blow to your esteem. You aren't a robot and the emotional damage of what was done to you will need time to heal before you can give your best to someplace else.

I’ve always been highly regarded and had a great future ahead of me. In the space of 6 months it’s disintegrated and I’m on the scrap heap.

I know it feels like this now, but it’s not true at all. By the sounds of it you’ve had a successful career so far with loads of experience under your belt. You’ll find something soon and pick up where you left off.

Do you mind me asking what field/industry you’re in?

There’s plenty you can do to feel like you have a bit more control over this situation:

Update your CV/LinkedIn and ask some former colleagues for references or LinkedIn recommendations (always a good confidence boost).

Network - find some events local to you and go along, meet people and introduce yourself.

Speak to former colleagues/connections who have moved on to new companies.

Enjoy having some time off without any pressure! Spend some time doing things you enjoy that you wouldn’t otherwise have time for.

It feels awful now, I know it does. But it will pass.

There was a thread earlier this week asking how many times people had been made redundant. There were a lot of positive stories on there if you can find it

Thanks all. I think I haven’t given myself time to digest it. I went into full action mode on day one, updating linked in, applying for jobs, speaking to lawyers etc.

@FartSock5000 you are right I need some time to process it.

@Work2live i am in banking

I feel so embarrassed

Don’t feel embarrassed. It’s really just business, which is pretty binary.

I was made redundant a month ago too. It’s my second time and it sucks, and you go through a whole range of emotions, but none of it means you on the scrap heap.

first time was on my 40th birthday. Now 3 years later, here I am again.

you’ll be ok - I’d be happy to show you my CV and look at yours to give you any help. We’re in different industries but I got some great cv advice recently and would be happy to share.

Hi OP, I second taking some time off to put some distance between you and the redundancy. As for the colleagues, that happens. They're probably scared for their jobs (I had one colleague treat me as if I was physically infectious when I was going through the process), guilty that they survived and you didn't.

I was made redundant from my job in lockdown. I discovered that a month later they made my arsehole of a boss redundant. I was so pleased as he had made my life miserable.

Posted too soon - I walked out of my office for the last time and people I'd worked with for five years didn't look up or say goodbye. How they treat you is about them, not you or your worth.

Yup. I was in the first round (altho they didn't know that) and senior management sat there looking all smug with their 'we're hurting too, you know' expressions. A few months later they were all out as well - and some of them went to another bank that collapsed a bit later. I didn't laugh, honest.

I felt exactly like this when I was made redundant. Rejected, embarrassed, it was really awful.

It took 12 weeks but I have honestly found the best job of my life and been here 8 years since - the redundancy was such a blessing. things will get better even though it seems hard just now.

@ilovetomatoes it is really awful being made redundant and I totally understand why you feel like you do.

I was also in a senior legal position back in 2009 when I was suddenly made redundant. It was probably one of the worst times of my life so far.

The panic of thinking we would lose the house, the lack of professional standing the reduction by 2/3 of our household income.

However after a bit of a fight I got a decent pay off which was just enough to live on until I found another job, and given this was 2009 there were very few jobs out there.

I ended up doing something totally different to law for 5 years, because I had to, but in the end it gave me valuable new skills and made me more employable when I returned to law 10 years ago.

Give yourself time and never give up hope.

I’ve been made redundant and I’ve escaped redundancy, but seen colleagues go. In every situation, the people who have been made redundant have had the better deal in the long term. It’s forced them into an uncomfortable position but being pushed out of their comfort zone ended up with them having better jobs.

It sounds like it will be a blessing in disguise for you. Hang on in there, some good advice in this thread.

If you are looking for a senior banking role, I’d expect you need a recruiter to place you. I’m in a senior professional services role and would not dream of ever submitting a cold application - I’d either use my existing contacts or a recruiter.

The redundancy isn’t a reflection of you, and no new employer will think it is - you just need someone to help you get those introductions.

LinkedIn is crawling with recruiters if you don’t know where to start, and if you flag yourself as looking for work they should reach out to you in droves.

There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. You have to rid yourself of the idea that it’s a reflection on you, it isn’t.

I was made redundant about ten years ago as the result of the merge of two previously separate entities of a big corporate. It was a bloodbath- a really brutal six month fight to the death at the end of which almost all the managers on my side got the chop. The process was really bruising, but without exception everyone who left got a better job pretty quickly, and most of those who survived left of their own accord within a couple of years and without a payout. Honestly, it was the best thing for me and I’ve never looked back, even though at the time the stress of it meant I barely went a day without crying.

It’s banking?! As an industry it’s notorious for hire and fire. I was working for a bank when I finally got made redundant after surviving about 5 rounds in only a few years. Work in the industry long enough and chances are it’ll be you at some point. I know some great ex colleagues that have been made redundant 2-3 times. It says nothing about you. There’s a decent chance that any future hiring managers will have been there themselves at some point in their career, or at the very least seem good colleagues go, so they really won’t be judging.

Time for a change of mindset OP. This redundancy is a GOOD thing. No job should result in you being on ADs.

You are not a failure, you have had a lucky escape.

It's summer & you won't get another job while you are depressed so stop beating yourself up. Take your annual holiday - 2 weeks - as you usually would but spend it home. Go swimming or cycling or running. Tidy the garden. Go & see your mum. Let her fuss over you for a while. Concentrate on getting well. Relax, you never have to go back to that nest of vipers ever again.

Change your LinkedIn entry to say you are taking a two week break and that you will be available for work in August.

And get some sleep. There is a skills shortage. Everything will be fine xx

Life has a way of surprising you. One day you will look back on this time and will be glad it happened because what lies ahead is so much better. Write down your feelings in a daily diary and look back on it in a year’s time. I think you will be feeling much more positive.

Think about transferable skills, make a list of what you are good at, and challenge your own limiting self-beliefs.

If you have access to LinkedIn Learning, have a look for a guy called Chris Croft. He looks like your standard issue buzzwordy corporate motivational type, but he’s genuinely very smart and wise about how climbing the ladder isn’t the be-all and end-all, and how to make work work for you. I found him quite inspiring, and I normally hate that kind of thing.

Allow yourself to be sad and grieve. It IS a big hit to all sorts of things, self esteem, expected future, regular contact with work "friends". Loads of things.

Then assuming you've been in post for an age, throw a bit of redundancy money at CV writing, LinkedIn profiles etc.

Best of luck! You'll come out of this just fine!