Intense work colleague

[lilpeepgothboy]

To preface I’ve been out socially with this person, one on one and as a group maybe 5 times. She blew up at me because I had dinner with another colleague and demanded to know where her invite was, since then I’ve gone off her rapidly. Prior to that I was already getting annoyed at her constant put downs.

Now she’s having tantrums because

• I had headphones in at my desk
• I didn’t sit next to her at work
• I went to Costa with a colleague

Apparently she’s treated others in this way and I’m just the new target, but it’s really getting me down now.

How long has she worked there? Is she a relatively new colleague?

You are being harassed by this employee. View it as that and decide what to do on that basis.

This sounds batshit. I'd cool any friendship that you may have had. Mention to line manager?

This is what I was gonna suggest. Document everything too.

When you say tantrums, what do you mean?

Is she talking about it with others or trying to report you to your manager or?

Is she moaning to you or being nasty?

Sorry, I'm just trying to get an idea of what's happening.

It sounds totally crazy and unhinged.

Talking about me to the other colleagues, constantly moaning at me, going around telling people there’s something wrong with me (as I’m upset) when there absolutely isn’t, texting me whilst I’m in a meeting to say we need to talk.

As far as I know she’s not reported to her manager, hopefully even she sees that as ridiculous.

Do you need to work with her directly? As in, does she need to contact you via phone, etc? Can you block her number? Or will that not be possible?

If she whatsapps you rather than texts, I would download WhatsApp business you have setting enabling you to have a standard response saved, and then when she messages you there, she will get a response that you can type out. For example, "Thank you for your message. I'm currently busy but will respond when I can. If it is work related pls leave a message here or call me on xxxxxxxx, alternatively send an email" or something to that effect.

You can pick and choose which numbers receive this message.

Other than that I would just ignore her. I think talking to her or confronting her will enflame it more as its your attention she wants.

We work in the same department but different categories, so unlikely to work on the same project together. But we are in one team, all sit together, all interact.

She has my private number not just my work number so it would just be awkward to block her and then face her at the office the following week.

Tell her that’s she’s being hard work and that she needs to stop.