Should I be doing more? Anyone else?

[Midlifecrisiseek]

I have a 6y and 2y old. I find that at work I'm just drifting. I used to thrive, now I sort of do what's required but nothing more. I'm a bit average.

And then I don't really do much else. Some exercise, housework, life admin and lots of time with the kids.

I thought it was normal when you have small DC but I'm surrounded by people who do great at work, perhaps even work several jobs to make ends meet, study when kids are in bed, organise a wedding, remodel their house, all alongside everything else.

I can't even blame the DC, they sleep well and are pretty low maintenance. We have no family or support at all so they are with us all the time though.

I'm achieving nothing and I'm quite unhappy about it but I don't know how to get out of the rut. I think I spend a lot of mental energy on anxiety so perhaps that's contributing to feeling depleted.

But I feel like I'm letting myself down! Any advice?

We achieved nothing more than you OP until the kids didn't want our attention or help. Took about a decade. But we just lent into it, I quite enjoyed just playing. Watching cartoon films etc.

Remodeling a house is as dull as it comes. Honestly. Same for organising a wedding. No one really cares about such stuff except the person doing it.

You can sort of attempt to try and get a bit better at things with kids. Like drawing, mummy is going to draw the best duck she has ever drawn. Or learn keyboard along side them.

Thank you @frozendaisy that makes me feel better. I think I'm surrounded by super high achievers at work and feel constantly inadequate. I just had quite a long chat with DH and he reminded me that that's probably not the most representative sample of the population.

Tbh the only part of life I feel I am doing well at at the moment is parenting.

I guess that's the most important thing, but I also need to make sure I can provide for them, so I need to be better on the work front.

I used to feel guilty about this too. My child is now 17, and I've learnt that spending time with your children is one of the most valuable uses of your time. Please don't worry about all the other stuff, you are doing just fine 😀

@Midlifecrisiseek you are there for your kids and they will always remember that , with high flying jobs can come stress and kids pick up on that . Maybe plan a break so you have something to look forward to if you haven't already ?