Zero tolerance behaviour policy and SEN kids

[concernedmumhelp]

I'm very lucky to have an extremely bright DC, he is at a very academic state school (not stealth boast) but it is in many ways a really good fit. Have namechanged, in fact, you can tell I'm a regular mumsnetter with a kid like that . Please excuse the long post (trying to avoid drip feeding here, apologies for a) post too long and b) if I miss anything crucial out)

Background

Unfortunately, said child has (probably multiple) neurodivergent issues; he got a diagnosis last year; he is undergoing another diagnostic process currently.

DC did pretty well academically over covid, despite being highly vulnerable to covid. though homeschooling this kid on the spectrum was hard work,

DC has just done pretty well in his year 10 exams - lots of A type grades- though not as well as if he were doing any work - mainly 7s -ish.

On the spectrum
However DC is a fidgety item, struggles with handwriting so has a laptop, but writes very little in class and relies on a mega super memory. DC is very concrete of thinking, resists doing homework as he entirely believes schoolwork should be for school alone, and often does not "get" the task in class, so sits there not making eye contact, sometimes without opening his book, but listening (and taking most of it in, it would seem, but not so the teacher would notice). He thinks this is ok as his grades are quite good.

He is not aggressive or violent and though he does not do much eye contact he has a sharp sense of humour and is rather nice to the kids in lower years. He is relatively a bit scruffy I admit, but does conform to wearing a tie etc. He takes a lively part in extra curricular activites and is a real enthusiast (for his special interests)

He has no sense of how to play the game to curry favour with teachers etc.

He gets so many demerit points! I check them every day! He doesn't much care, his grades are good enough, he thinks, and he understands the work. I do care but don't know what to do to help.

He doesn't want to admit he's on the spectrum or struggles with some things, he would like to present as too cool for school. He has a "cheeky chappie" aspect which people may find endearing or exasperating. He can be naughty I admit.

Change in behaviour policy
He now gets so many detentions! as the school is trying to improve behaviour from a post-covid ebb. He can manage being in detention but can't really change the aspects of his behaviour that they are targeting it would seem.

The school are moving to zero tolerance from next year of eg talking in class will get you sent to a "silent" room, then talking there will get you suspended. I think he will not get on with this at all, he will not be able to "play the game" of fitting in with what the teachers want (I can expand on this)

TLDR
The school have said there is no case for an EHCP despite his diagnos/es but it looks to me as though he will get a lot of hassle and probably suspended next year- his GCSE year. I am now thinking I need to put in an application for an EHCP as soon as possible so that there might be some protection for him. But DC would not want that at all, as he wants to pass as "normal".

I figured that other people must have had this situation? The school say they want to treat all the kids the same but surely they have to make some allowance for SEN, eg asking too many questions and needing "scaffolding" - what has been the experience of other parents (or teachers) with SEN kids in a zero tolerance atmosphere.

Posting here for traffic.

I can understand your concerns. My ds (year 10) is similar to yours. He has high ability, is neurodiverse and will probably scrape a few passes in the mainstream setting (which I'm fine about). He was at a different school before where he had detentions and internal exclusions every week.

To say we went through the mill with him during the pandemic and shortly after he was diagnosed would be putting it mildy. By the time we were finished with CAMHS, social services, the police he was granted an ECHP. He, however wants nothing to do with it, as he wants to maintain the cool lads persona. In fact he presents very polite and lovely these days.

The school have been very good with putting support in place and after almost an academic year he is asking the TA for help and doing well.

As your son already has a diagnosis, you should be able to approach the SENCo about varying the behaviour policy as a reasonable adjustment. Otherwise they will be discriminating against your son.

My ds is EXACTLY that dc... He is 9 days from being fully excluded. He is going to a college type environment in September if he makes it at his current school til then...

I can understand these concerns too. My child used to attend an ARK academy and to say they were dreaful would be an understatement. No reasonable adjustments and same-day two hour detentions for small things like speaking in the hallway. To say they were deadful would be an understatement. I would have a minuted meeting explaining the adjustments you would like, question any unfavourable sanctions. Wrost case possible make a claim with SENDIST.

I am currently having difficulties with my sons school, I can't post the link but would advise you find this booklet online, page 19/20 are interesting

You need to search on google: council for disabled children disabled children and the equality act 2010, its about the 4th link down April 2015

My ds is also autistic.

He is extremely black and white and literal.

So this sort of environment wouldn't hinder him differently - he'd literally not talk because told not to and so wouldn't even ask if he didn't understand!

Schools have to make reasonable adjustments for any send under the equality act. It's law.

That doesn't mean changing their policy but if ds fidgets because of sensory need they couldn't suspend him for fidgeting.

So the talking would be a reasonable adjustment of his condition meant he couldn't be silent - for example vocal tics.

Tbh I would look to move schools and apply for an EHCP if he needs 1:1 support to be able to record notes and access answering questions.

But only because as someone with decades of experience in education I hate zero tolerance policies. They are detrimental to kids MH. Policies and behaviour expectations - yes. Absolutely. I'm as no nonsense as they come.

But suspension for talking? How do they deal with bullying, racist remarks and actual bad behaviour because fixed term exclusion is the most severe form of punishment they have.