Birthday woes!

[burthday]

So today is my birthday and I suppose I just wanted somewhere to air my feelings without judgement.

It’s not a big birthday but I suppose I just feel quite sad and I usually always am on my birthday, but this year I suppose it really stings as I thought I’d prepared myself but I’m still a bit tearful. I have some issues with feeling unloved and unappreciated, so today is a day when those feelings of unlovableness are really hard to ignore.

For the past few years my birthday has always been on a weekday and DH can’t take it off so it’s just been me on my own. In previous years, mum would book something for us but not this year. DH has just come home from work as he’s been sick (too many wines with little food last night) and I want to write out why I feel weird:

• my mum has said happy birthday by text but my dad hasn’t. He usually does but I suppose not this year
• my brother hasn’t text
• my best friend hasn’t text
• i did get a gift in the post from best friend which is sweet but it’s very much not “me” and I am the easiest person in the world to buy for so it just feels a bit sad but the present is also broken so I had to text her to let her know so she can get a refund, said thank you etc but awkward since she hasn’t text me yet today. I would have really loved a handwritten card or something sentimental as I’m not that bothered by material things
• most my friends haven’t said happy birthday
• at work, we write cards online for others on their birthday and it gets auto delivered - I didn’t get one :(
• no one at work has said anything in the group chat
• i have work deadlines so will be online all day working and feel quite anxious

I probably sound spoilt and I don’t mean to, I’d just like to feel appreciated, maybe a hand written note or photo or something from someone? My best friend is the only present I’ll be getting today. I will see my family later but every birthday since childhood my dad has made me cry (he’s a bit of a narcissist) so I don’t have high hopes for that.

oh well - off my chest and I think I’ll watch some tv whilst I wait for my work comments to come back.

Happy Birthday OP 💐

I’m sorry you’re feeling unappreciated, especially on your birthday! I’ve been there in the past and I know it stings.

Can you treat yourself to something nice? I know it’s not the same but maybe something little to make you smile!

I hope your birthday improves 🎂

You don't spoilt at all, perhaps a little unrealistic. DH and I always make a small bit of a fuss of each other for birthdays but this doesn't extending to taking a day off work if it's midweek. Either we would go out for dinner later on or get a nice takeaway. Card and gift in the morning before work, that sort of thing. Did your DH get a card or present for you?

Not sure what you mean by a hand-written note or a photo though? Have you received any cards at all? Why would you get a photo?

The whole work birthday think is a bit daft to be honest, too much room for hurt feelings if someone is forgotten. I would step right back from that.

Treat yourself to a nice lunch perhaps and celebrate with DH when he's feeling better?

Happy Birthday @burthday
Be selfish for the day, if not today because you need to work then choose another non work day and do what you want all day long.

The thing is it would have only taken one of those people to actually make a proper effort to make you feel good on your birthday. Lots of sympathy OP, a similar thing happened on my last birthday. Not a single card or "happy birthday" from anyone, no gifts, nothing. It was like everyone just forgot or couldn't be bothered. I was mired in the depths of depression anyway so it just didn't help at all.

I wouldn’t expect DH to take a day off, he just came home sick though and is very much moping.

I got a card from DH, apparently I have a present which I believe but it’s on Saturday.

I got a notification from a specific group chat for a poll of what to get one of our team members for his newborn baby (1 month old now) and the last message was for everyone to sign my coworkers card for her birthday in May. It’s slightly depressing.

I don’t feel very well either so have just been in bed all day and DH has called me insufferable… sigh.

thanks for the messages all

Happy birthday , really sorry you're feeling this way. I hope DH makes it up to you by spoiling you on Saturday. Can you treat yourself in the meantime?