Getting autistic child to sleep

[unlikelychump]

This hot weather has wrecked sleep for my 7yo with suspected autism and he now can't get to sleep before 10pm and that is with a story going in his headphones. I want to improve this situation because he is clearly shattered and I am not fond of the sleep crutch

Can anyone give me some advice to try to get him off earlier in the evening. He used to be asleep 2030, but is now out of control. He can't settle his body.

I don't want to go for a crutch unless I have to. He is a small boy and I want to try to give him some skills to deal with life. Plenty of time to listen to the radio all night when he is an adult and makes his own choices. We haven't exhausted everything yet.

So I had a chat with him today on the back of this thread and said I think it is a bad idea listening to his mp3 player. He agreed and said he did it because he wasn't sure what the rule for bedtime was. So we agreed 9pm it stops and he goes to sleep. I then suggested a walk in the morning or evening, he said he would try that, but we just go to the last few pages of Harry Potter for the first time for him, so he asked not to, and I agreed. I then mentioned the idea of a "cold water bottle" and he said he was always too hot and got uncomfortable pressing himself against the wall, and could wd try it....

So overall it was a very good and worthwhile conversation and I have been downstairs working for 20 mins, I'm waiting to hear his light go click any minute and then we will see....

So far so crap.
He is either too hot or too cold and can't decide which..

Melatonin could help to get him back on track if his sleep is a blip from the hot weather, might be worth trying for a few days.
Another vote for an air conditioner unit - you should be able to set a temperature that he can tolerate.

parent of autistic teen here, we had similar around this age. Did he have a different bedtime routine when he was smaller? I only ask because we reverted to the toddler years bedtime routine when sleep became an issue around this age and it worked like a charm. TV/radio, shower, drink, bed, story and song. Also blackout blinds and no clock for clock watching. It was always the song that sent mine off so I timed bedtimes back from that. He still needs the routine and song from time to time even though I'm not allowed to talk about it.

I'm not sure why finding what will aid you to sleep is called a "crutch" in a negative way. As long as you find what works and it is harmless (i.e not alcohol or prohibited drugs, etc), you use it. The whole aim is to get a much needed sleep. Melatonin is a natural occurring hormone but some have it in short supply. With enough if it, it may help with sleep.

If listening to music helps lull your dc to sleep, I see no reason you're brushing it off as "a crutch" like it's a bad thing. Some people really need "crutches"/aids to function in one or more areas of their lives. But if you can find another way (a different crutch? Because if it's not happening on its own, it's still "a crutch"), then goodluck with it.

oh also to add that I've never dosed mine up with anything, eg drowsy making Piriton.

Another thing was when his mind and body was racing counting back from 100 in French. Advice I got on here years ago and it worked.

So I did the old up and down the stairs every 10 mins trick and he has gone off. Another night over and I got a bit done. This is causing me a particular problem at the moment as I am trying to fill in the autism assessment forms and I need my own brain to do it!

I think the baby routine is the answer really - just being really consistent all the time. He just can't deal with change. We need to find a plan and stick to it.

We kind of met in the middle - part of it was accepting that he was going to be up later than other kids. You get to a point with older children that you can't just pack them off upstairs before you start your evening, you need to start your evening stuff before they go up. We just made that transition earlier than most.

Walk, or swing, or garden badminton after dinner helps here. We eat outside in the evening as much as possible. Routine routine routine but that doesn't have to mean it takes 3 hours of your time. One hour maybe! But ours includes his own TV time (without us), own reading time etc.

We talked to him about getting all the talking he needed to do done earlier in the evening - he used to refuse to talk all day then have a lot he NEEDED to say at 10pm. We agreed talking time after dinner (often on the walk) so it was all out of the way before sleep.

Thanks to everyone who contributed to this thread, it has been really constructive and helpful on the whole. I will come back and read again

I'm back again. Situation worse. I've bought a white noise machine tonight.
Better than the cable round his neck I guess

Last week of term ish? Likely to be horrible for a lot of autistic kids with all the "treat" stuff at school and the transition to summer hols. If so, ride it out as best you can and have another bash once he's settled into holiday time.

We were doing my son's choice of TV until nearly 11pm tonight. He hates the last week of term. If you're eg in Scotland and already well into the holidays, um no new ideas...

I don't know what the answer is. DS (10) isn't going to sleep until gone midnight now - I'd try the melatonin, but the GP won't prescribe.

I have no advice but I sympathise. My autistic DD was awake half the night scared because she felt she was alone even though her little sister is in the bunk below. Absolutely no reasoning with her.
I hope you eventually got some sleep.

Don't be afraid to try melatonin op. My child is 6. They struggle to both fall asleep and stay asleep , they need melatonin in the summer months. It is the only thing that works. They're up at 4am in June , July and September so need the help to fall asleep.

We tried everything before asking the neurodevelopmental clinic for a melatonin trial.

#1 rule of ASD. Don’t think of simple adaptations as crutches.

The list of things I thought I would never allow that I ended up doing with my child is pages long.

listening to a story on headphones is not a problem. It’s something he could do for the rest of his life even. It is a habit, but it’s not a bad habit.

If the heat is a big factor, I would look into portable a/c or if that is too much, look at cooling sheets, bamboo pajamas, and even ice packs. Note ice packs have to be removed before sleep because skin can be burned if used too long.

Will he accept new headphones? Wireless ones.

Are you still against melatonin?

My only reason for asking is because our bodies naturally produce this, but some people do not produce enough. Particularly at this time of year with lighter nights.

So, I assume you already have blackout curtains, a good sleep routine, no tablets/screen time right before bed - the light can hinder the body's natural melatonin production, sleep positive environment. White noise/soothing music rather than jumpy pop type stuff.

I would seriously consider a trial of melatonin to introduce a period of good sleep. You don't have to keep him on it long term as that can be just as problematic. My ds has been on melatonin since he was around 3.5. He's now 13. He really struggles to sleep without it, particularly during summer months. We tend to take breaks during school holidays from all his medication (adhd/ASC).

If you are completely against melatonin, there's a drink called 'cherry goodnight' which a lot of sen families swear by. Cherries amongst other foods are naturally high in melatonin and increasing intake through diet rather than medication is preferable to many.

And @Ponderingwindow is right. If your child had a physical disability, needed a wheelchair for mobility, a tracheotomy to help him breathe, glasses to see etc, I doubt you would be saying no, he still has to learn to walk/breathe/see without help.

Melatonin in particular is something our body produces naturally. Some people need a little help to ensure they have enough for their needs.

I don’t know why you keep referring to something that helps as a “sleep crutch” as if it’s a bad thing?! My son has been on melatonin since he was 3, he’s now 11, he has autism and learning disabilities and wouldn’t sleep at all without it. (He has a diagnosed sleep disorder and at his worst used to wake up every single hour). If something works with autism you do it. Why make life harder for yourself? It’s like having a headache and refusing to take a paracetamol. (Obviously I do understand you may not be able to get melatonin at this stage but I mean sleep aids in general).

My dd has adhd. The things that help her are
Dinner at 5.30
No screens after 5
Trampoline time after tea
Nice cool bath for as long as she will stay in, sometimes with a calm audiobook on the shower Bluetooth speaker
Into bed - we have silk pillow cases as they stay cooler. We got cooling blankets on Amazon - the silky feel helps
She listens to a sleepy podcast or 'the rabbit who wants to fall asleep' on Alexa.
She's normally asleep by 10, we count that as a win as long as she's had plenty of relaxed time. Once she's in bed she's only allowed out to go to the loo, the rule helps her relax her body.

Deal: Marchpower Cooling Blanket, Bamboo Blankets 150x200cm Queen Size, Arc-chill Q-MAX>0.34 Cool Fiber Lightweight Summer Luxury Version Absorb Heat for Night Sweats Breathable and Soft All Season-Blue amzn.eu/d/h4YYlhK

This the blanket she has.

Thanks for more suggestions.

No need to keep hammering the sleep crutch point, I've not kept saying it..

I would look into blue tooth headphones but his device is not Bluetooth and he listens to stories toooo loud for it to seem a good thing to do all night.
I suspect it is a summer thing. Also an end of term thing (not Scotland) as he is all over the place more generally.

I hope you find something that works op.

From my perspective we tried different blankets , pillows , white noise , different rooms , different beds , all of the routine changes etc. We just had to accept that part of my child's autism is being unable to switch off and rest no matter what we put in place. He'll probably never get the age appropriate amount of sleep , but melatonin gives him that extra couple of hours that get him through the school day without a meltdown. Which allows me to rest and therefore parent with patience.

Can I suggest something like a yoto box if he likes stories. We have one and whilst it doesn't solve the sleep problem , it does keep my son calm. It plays continuously and might encourage him to ditch the headphones. You can also control the volume and content from an app on your phone if that helps.

One thing I was wondering is if his whole routine has drifted later? You mentioned him keeping blinds shut in morning. Is he sleeping later in the morning, now he falls asleep later? If so, it could be worth waking him up earlier to shift his whole body clock earlier...