Dreams about my mom

[daisybelle222]

I lost my mom suddenly when I was 22, we were very close and extremely alike in looks and personality,
A lady once broke down in tears as she told me after a chat how I reminded her so much of my mom.
As we were so alike we fought like cats and dogs but she was my best friend and our silly arguments never lasted long.

We had some wonderful times together and I cherish those memories.
The problem I have is after her death I was so in much desbelif that she was gone it took two years before it finally hit me that she was gone.
Occasionally I have random dreams about her and in the dreams it turns out she's not actually dead ( for example one dream was where I was at home all day and then suddenly my mom and came home and I was so upset as they had spent the day together and now she had to leave again and I was devastated that I didn't get time with her, and in the dream she just leaves without wanting to say anything to me or acknowledge me) when she was alive she took me everywhere with her and my dad, they also had plenty of time together when we would be left at home and as soon as she'd come home I was the first person she call out for with a beautiful smile on her face and her eyes lit up and then when we had the chance we'd chit chat about her time away with my dad, very different from what she's like in the dream.
My question is ,is she trying to send me a message, is she disappointed in who I am, I'm scared that she doesn't love me anymore and I know it may sound stupid but other dreams were similar where she was very distant and cold with me, I'm just scared she's sending a message. I wake up feeling so sad after these dreams. I did talk to my dad about it but not too much as he still adores my mom and I don't want to cause him sadness, he just trys to assure me it's just a dream and not to worry about it but I feel there must be something to it.
I'd give anything to get to spend just 5 minutes with her to tell her how much I miss her.
Does anyone have insight into what this really means

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mum. I think your dreams are your subconscious working through the loss. You dream that she suddenly has to leave again and that she didn't say goodbye and you want more time with her. Our dreams can help us to process our feelings and these are the feelings that you would have had when she died.
I think dreams like this are our way of working through loss. I don't believe at all that she is disappointed in you, it sounds like she loved you very very much.

Hi OP. I lost my mum at 26, while she had a terminal diagnosis, we expected much more time and her death was very much unexpected.

It is her 10 year anniversary this year, and I still experience vivid dreams which she is in. So vivid it does feel real, and on waking it can be upsetting coming back into reality.

My position is it all part of the grief cycle. Your dreams are your subconscious working through your grief, as mentioned by a previous poster. It's like intrusive thoughts, you have no "control" over it, and absolutely is no reflection on who you are and the relationship you had with your mum.

This isn't your mum communicating with you.

It is you working through your grief. You are angry that she left and your dreams are playing this out.

Perfectly normal and nothing to worry about unless your physical and mental health are being affected.

Agree with other posters. This is your subconscious, not your mum. I understand your feelings. I lost my husband suddenly after 40 years together. I dream of him often, usually he isn’t dead but we have to keep him a secret and hide from “someone “ so they don’t take him away again. Could you maybe contact CRUSE or a similar organisation to see if they can offer any counselling or other help? I hope you can reassure yourself that your mum loved you, and would never want you to feel unloved.

I lost my dear Mum nearly 20 years ago, she was in a wheelchair after contracting gangrene so had to have surgery. When I dream of her she is walking so I assume that the last 6 years of her being in a wheelchair, my brain has somehow dismissed this. When I wake up, I am happy, remembering her this way. Your Mum knew you loved each other, were you there when she died or did you find her. Agree with other replies, maybe get some grief counselling I’m sure they will be able to put your mind at rest.

I'm so sorry for your loss OP. I think what you're experiencing is completely normal for someone grieving.

I lost my wonderful dad 8 months ago and I occasionally wake up crying, having dreamt about him. A good friend of mine does the same.

When you feel a bit disconcerted after a dream, just think back to the times you enjoyed listening to her happily recounting her time away with your Dad.