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Do you remember much of your childhood?

115 replies

Spencer2 · 27/06/2023 22:05

I only ask because… I really don’t!

I didn’t have a bad upbringing, in fact I do just remember it being lovely and I was so content. We weren’t well off but we could afford an annual holiday abroad and I just loved being at home playing and watching films. I loved feeling content, warm and in my safe place which was always my childhood home. Of course I remember random things and events as we do…. But I mean a handful at most. I really don’t remember much of me and my brother growing up in our home, I don’t remember much of the yearly holidays abroad. It’s really sad and these are years without any memories I will never be able to look back on or play back in my head.

I’m just curious to know.. am I the only one? I struggle to be honest to remember much from my teen years either, although I do remember a lot more than childhood years.

For the record.. i’m 27.

I have children now and sometimes I look at them and I think ‘I hope you remember this moment’ or ‘I hope you don’t forget all of this’.

OP posts:
elp30 · 28/06/2023 10:45

I am 52 and i still have a really good memory for remembering details of my childhood. I suppose I do because my mother became very ill when I was seven and died from her illness when I was nearly 11. I never wanted to forget her so I made a point to remember.

Ask me what I had for dinner two days ago and I can't tell you. Ask me what song was playing on my sister's transistor radio in June 1977 when she and our cousins were dancing in our grandparents living room and I'll tell you it was "Moonlight Feels Right" by Starbuck.

Return2thebasic · 28/06/2023 10:50

I have limited memories about certain scenes, but not so much about before or after any particular scene. As if they are frozen images.

But the feelings are important. The feeling of being loved, being safe, being happy and carefree have shaped who I am now.

So yes, unfortunately, not lots memories, but I'm grateful that those feelings became part of my identity, part of my roots that help me become an adult who love the world.

Return2thebasic · 28/06/2023 10:52

I meant to say, so same when we became parents. The children may not remember whay presents they got last year, they may not remember the bring sunlight and calm evenings near the seaside during holidays, but those beautiful feelings are helping them to become who they will be one day.

ladykale · 28/06/2023 10:57

Spencer2 · 27/06/2023 22:05

I only ask because… I really don’t!

I didn’t have a bad upbringing, in fact I do just remember it being lovely and I was so content. We weren’t well off but we could afford an annual holiday abroad and I just loved being at home playing and watching films. I loved feeling content, warm and in my safe place which was always my childhood home. Of course I remember random things and events as we do…. But I mean a handful at most. I really don’t remember much of me and my brother growing up in our home, I don’t remember much of the yearly holidays abroad. It’s really sad and these are years without any memories I will never be able to look back on or play back in my head.

I’m just curious to know.. am I the only one? I struggle to be honest to remember much from my teen years either, although I do remember a lot more than childhood years.

For the record.. i’m 27.

I have children now and sometimes I look at them and I think ‘I hope you remember this moment’ or ‘I hope you don’t forget all of this’.

Do photos trigger extra memories??

EBearhug · 28/06/2023 11:05

Do photos trigger extra memories??

Not for me. A friend sent me a photo a while back of us on our last day at school, about 30 years previously, and I have no memory of it being taken. Can still tell you the bloody questions on my second A-level Latin paper, though...

Likewise, I was talking to my sister about a photo from when she was about 5 and I was 7, when our aunt and a couple of her schoolfriends visited (she'd have been 15 or 16) - my sister was able to talk about the people in the photo, but I don't remember them at all. I do remember the visit, as in the bedroom, my aunt showed me a drawing of an apple she'd done, which I thought was amazing.

Chypre · 28/06/2023 11:08

I remember my childhood quite well. Mostly in fragmented way - how my grandma's house used to look, where we used to play as children, trips to the seaside (all trips blurred in one generic memory of a seaside), all zoo visits blurred into one, etc. Also a couple of vivid and detailed memories from very early childhood, as early as 2-3 years old. Visit to the hospital for stitches, how the roof been lifted by hurricane, when my cousin died, when my grandpa died, mostly traumatic events when there was a lot of complicated emotions and grief around. Those I sadly remember a lot better than the "good" things.

SillySausage81 · 28/06/2023 11:32

It's so interesting how different everyone's memories are...

Does anyone know what causes some people to remember more of their childhood than other people? Is it mostly genetic? Are there external factors that can help?

If there's anything I can do to help my children remember more of their childhood, I would like to do it. I would feel so sad if I didn't have all the memories I have of growing up.

Olortonma · 28/06/2023 11:53

Did you spend much time online, Nintendo/X box, etc., gaming @Spencer2 ?

LaBefana · 28/06/2023 12:11

I remember my mum bringing my baby sister home from King's College hospital when I was 2 years and 9 months old. In my mind's eye I can see her walk in the room, her dress, and the blue Aertex blanket little sis was wrapped in. I remember Grandma's collie, Sally, who died when I was just 3. Lots of little snippets from then onwards, getting more detailed as I got older.

Jifmicroliquid · 28/06/2023 12:13

Yes I remember a huge amount and look back on it very fondly. I can almost feel I’m back there sometimes, my memories are that vivid.

LaBefana · 28/06/2023 12:40

SillySausage81 · 28/06/2023 11:32

It's so interesting how different everyone's memories are...

Does anyone know what causes some people to remember more of their childhood than other people? Is it mostly genetic? Are there external factors that can help?

If there's anything I can do to help my children remember more of their childhood, I would like to do it. I would feel so sad if I didn't have all the memories I have of growing up.

Everyone's different. For ages I didn't realise that many people don't remember things like I do. People are always saying 'You have an amazing memory!' I thought it was normal. I don't know if it's genetic because my own sister doesn't remember things like I do. I don't think you can force children to remember things better than they are naturally able to.

Stompythedinosaur · 28/06/2023 15:23

Whether or not dc remember specific memories, the evidence of a positive experience in childhood is right there in the way their brain is structured.

I think it is missing the point to focus on being able to bring up a specific memory. That isn't really why we do nice things with our dc.

PonkyPonky · 28/06/2023 15:48

No I remember hardly anything. Even teenage years. Apparently we once got stuck on a broken down rollercoaster when I was about 15 and had to come down the emergency escape ladder. You’d think that memory would have stuck but nope, no recollection! I set my DS up with an email address when he was born so I could email pictures, stories, things that are happening as they happen. Then when he’s older, he’ll at least have that even if he can’t remember any of it.

celticprincess · 28/06/2023 15:54

I have some memories from certain age periods and less from others. But interestingly when I talk about them with my DM she is often adamant that my memories are incorrect and tries to change them - especially negative memories. We also have a lot of family photo albums so not sure if some of my memories are false memories just based on seeing the photo. I struggle to remember much from before the age of about 8/9 when we moved. I remember a lot from the next house we lived in until I went to uni.

TheBerry · 28/06/2023 17:08

I know a lot of people don’t remember much from when they’re young.

I remember loads. I’ve got memories starting from around 3, and then absolutely loads and loads from about 4/5 onwards.

I didn’t have a particularly happy childhood, maybe that’s why?? Not terrible, just not particularly happy. Most of my memories from home aren’t that great.

Spencer2 · 28/06/2023 19:50

This is so interesting! To answer a couple of these questions… sadly old photos don’t trigger much for me :( apart from perhaps remembering the old decor from the late 90s early 2000s, I do remember some interesting furniture choices funnily enough!

It’s just sad isn’t it how even those of you who have more memories than I do, it’s sad how they are often vivid.

My husband’s father makes me laugh because he is FOREVER coming out with ‘oh I remember on May 2nd 1940something ………… and i’m like ……. You forget your grandchildrens birth dates but you remember a random event on May 2nd 1940… (course you do!).

Mad isn’t it though.. and I’m interested to know those of you above the age of 50, do you remember loads about your 20’s and 30’s or do these years get blanked out too?!

OP posts:
LaBefana · 28/06/2023 20:13

@Spencer2

those of you above the age of 50, do you remember loads about your 20’s and 30’s or do these years get blanked out too?!

Well, I'm 71 and none of my decades have faded.

By the way, your husband's father must be quite old if he can put a date to a memory in the 1940s, and when you get old, isn't short-term memory the first to go?

EBearhug · 28/06/2023 22:40

I'm in my 50s, and I remember a lot of my 20s and 30s, too.

I'm hyperphantasic - if you describe something to me, I'll get a really clear mental image of it. At the other end of the scale are people who are aphantasic, no mental imagery at all. Most people are somewhere in between. I do not know if there's a correlation between people's levels of phantasia and vividness or number of memories, but it wouldn't surprise me if there is.

EllaRaines · 28/06/2023 22:44

I'm over thirty years older than you op, and I remember my childhood, teenage years and being a young woman very well.

I couldnt tell you what I had for lunch yesterday though!

Chatillon · 28/06/2023 23:17

I remember the clouds of white from a place of joy. I still remember feeling safe and seeing those white sheets, blowing in the breeze on the washing line. I remember small fruit trees and, kneeling up and leaning over, the wooden frames boxed around them. I was put out there a lot, but could not move out of the pram, though I wanted to. When the survivor of my parents died, the photographs proved all these memories were real, though they had long sworn my memories were deep as I grew up.

Some days, I remember waving to the trees as I was carried from our cottage across the lane to the cottage opposite. The lady there was nice, but made me race around with her daughter a lot. We moved from there when I was two years old. The house is gone now. A hospital was built on it, then upgraded more recently.

When I was four, I raced from our small living room in the new cottage into the kitchen and back again. I was excited by the storm that was brewing. I remember it well, my grandmother who was brought up in the mountains and moved here was clapping as I raced around. I had a high chair in that house when we first moved, but I graduated to the table and the reason I remember the high chair on the night of the storm is because my younger sibling was sitting in it. I remember him sitting in that spot and throwing a banana at the vicar. The chair was made of wood and metal, not plastic. It had flowers on. I jumped and laughed at the banana hitting the floor. Fete des Vignerons, was the plate my grandmother put on the wall. It is an event that occurred every 50 years and she was there.

At five, on Sunday's my father drove an old car around the hills and valleys to mend electrics and I remember on cold winter nights listening on the car radio to songs which he would sing to. Much later, it was to a programme called Single Something Simple, but I must have been 12 or 15 by then. As we drove, we were amazed by the white lights in the valley below, each one resembling a tiny firefly but in fact was a hamlet or maybe two or three a village. I remember the pattern. I saw it again, instant recall, when driving on some hills overlooking Cheltenham and Gloucester when I was 60. There were no car seats when I was five. If your parents cared for you, they would put cushions on your seats to see the view and put a pillow round your head to sleep on. No notion of safety, just loving comfort. No seat belts would fit you, but you would always naively get home safe. When he indicated to turn, a little flashing arm would bolt out from the side of the car for other motorists to see.

One day, Mr Adams who lived next door took us to school. My mother was not around that morning. Mr Adams had a bench seat in the front of his long estate car which made a noise as he turned the key. When it was frosty the noise was loudest. The tall yew trees that dropped little red seed capsules onto his roof and bonnet are still there today. I drove past them two weeks ago, but the there has been no frost for a long time.

underneaththeash · 28/06/2023 23:27

I don't but I do have aphantasia.

I don't think it's an age thing as DH has much better memory than me!

awks21 · 28/06/2023 23:34

I don't remember a thing about my younger sister (4 years between us) I can't remember what her room looked like or any memories of us pottering about the house. I remember her birth and I've pictures of us on family holidays etc together but day to day I've not one memory of her! I always found this odd. There's only ten months between me and older ds and they feature much more in my childhood memories.

Tyrionapproach · 28/06/2023 23:57

I remember a lot of my childhood very well but my memory is fairly visual, I've always loved stories, I've kept journals since the age of 13 (slacking off recently as I'm just so busy working to keep a roof over our heads) and we have several albums of blurry but colourful old photos (or did have until the matriarch of the family decided there wasn't enough space in her four bedroomed house to keep them and refused my offer to digitise them....)

PurpleFar · 29/06/2023 00:14

Yes, I have jumbled memories of the 90s from a very young age, but most of my memories are from the very early 00s. After that things started going downhill, and I think I've blocked a lot out.

LaBefana · 29/06/2023 09:37

EBearhug · 28/06/2023 22:40

I'm in my 50s, and I remember a lot of my 20s and 30s, too.

I'm hyperphantasic - if you describe something to me, I'll get a really clear mental image of it. At the other end of the scale are people who are aphantasic, no mental imagery at all. Most people are somewhere in between. I do not know if there's a correlation between people's levels of phantasia and vividness or number of memories, but it wouldn't surprise me if there is.

I think I have some of those things. I learned to read very early, and as long as I can remember, if you say a letter, word, or reasonably short phrase to me, or I think of it, I see it in my head in black letters (always in a serif font like Times Roman) on a white background. Very handy for spelling! Also in French if I need, say, to recall how many acute accents in pénétration, I can just count them.

If I think of my mother bringing my baby sister home after giving birth to her in January 1955, I can see the room I was in, the door at the far right hand side, the table in the middle of the room, and, like a little video, the door opens and in she comes, with a little creature wrapped in a blue Aertex blanket. I don't think my memory is 'eidetic' (I couldn't tell you the pattern on the wallpaper).

I also remember 'running away' from in front of my granny's house in Balham when I must have been three. I got a few yards down Balham High Road before my dad caught me. I can 'see' a bus stop (a request one) with people in a queue (some men with trilbies) and I look around and there is my dad with a trilby on, and the tails and belt of his undone gabardine mac flapping. Also the busy traffic.

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