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Fed up of DP job situation

10 replies

wherestheendofthetunnel · 27/06/2023 20:09

Okay so already I feel bad that I have created this thread because my dp has had an incredibly crap time over the last 7 years. He's been made redundant twice, had an extremely complex situation to deal with that's still ongoing involving legal letters that's been draining both mentally and financially and causes him endless stress and anxiety. He landed a fantastic opportunity after applying for a role and being successful after 5 mths of recruitment process and multiple global interviews (done on teams) to then have the job pulled at the last min because they had to make redundancies (mega, mega blow) he then was lucky enough to get a job fairly quickly but he HATES it with a passion, so much so that it's literally destroying our happiness but he is always in a foul mood. He's always angry and he feels like the last 7 years have been such a waste ( I've deliberately left outing information out incase of identification but it has been a complete shit show) it has been a truly awful time for him and also the family. But I'm tired, I'm tired of the constant strain and unhappiness im longing for contentment and a smidge of happiness and a glimmer of hope that things will change.

Im a horrible person for thinking this, I hate that im making it about me when he's having such a rubbish time but I can only vent here because nobody in real life has a clue about anything that's been happening so I've nobody to talk to.

Thanks for reading and im
Sorry that's it was a moany post I just needed to vent

OP posts:
SnapPop · 27/06/2023 20:12

Poor you OP, it's rubbish for him but it's rubbish for you too. Vent away! Is he looking for another job as he hates his current one? It may be easier this time - it's usually easier if you have a job when applying.

wherestheendofthetunnel · 27/06/2023 20:16

@SnapPop yes he's on the look out again. I guess it's just tough. I don't expect life to always be rosy but just a break in the road would be so welcome

OP posts:
Summerhillsquare · 27/06/2023 20:26

What do you do that's just for you?

wherestheendofthetunnel · 27/06/2023 20:32

Summerhillsquare · 27/06/2023 20:26

What do you do that's just for you?

I work full time but I go to the gym twice a week and try to catch up with my friends every other weekend ( I live about an hr from my home town) I have a great life don't get me wrong but I'm just find the dreary, wearing situation with my partner very tiring. I feel like we have some much hanging over us that fun and lighthearted stuff is always something for other people to enjoy. We have friends that he always compares himself too (about how stressfress their life is compared to his etc) I'm worried that he's going to end up taking a heart-attack cause he's always so stressed out

OP posts:
Thankfulforthenewday · 27/06/2023 20:34

Maybe he needs to change direction completely. All this stress and anxiety is bad for both your health. How much does he need to earn to keep the wheels turning smoothly? Can he go part time?

wherestheendofthetunnel · 27/06/2023 20:43

Thankfulforthenewday · 27/06/2023 20:34

Maybe he needs to change direction completely. All this stress and anxiety is bad for both your health. How much does he need to earn to keep the wheels turning smoothly? Can he go part time?

This is the thing- our mortgage has gone up by almost £500, we had also taken out a large loan to get work done and this costs us £550 per mth. He absolutely cannot go part time and I think this is why hes so stressed because every thing is getting more expensive and I don't earn v much despite being full time.

OP posts:
wherestheendofthetunnel · 27/06/2023 20:45

Quite a few of our friends are both high earners and I do feel my DP resents me a bit for this.

OP posts:
Thankfulforthenewday · 27/06/2023 20:53

That’s tough then but it sounds like he might be spiraling and the added resentment he may feel about his previous employment issues and your lower wage compared to your friends are just another negative thing for him to deal with. Really hope he finds a new job soon. Can’t be easy for either if you.

wherestheendofthetunnel · 27/06/2023 20:56

Thankfulforthenewday · 27/06/2023 20:53

That’s tough then but it sounds like he might be spiraling and the added resentment he may feel about his previous employment issues and your lower wage compared to your friends are just another negative thing for him to deal with. Really hope he finds a new job soon. Can’t be easy for either if you.

I think that's what's happening. I know when I'm irritated, other things that are irrelevant start to get added into the mix and then cause even more irritation. That's why I'm trying to be mindful of this when trying to help him. Life is just hard at the moment but I hope one day things make a turn and we can look back and laugh again

OP posts:
IDontWantToBeAPie · 27/06/2023 22:52

Is there no way for you to earn more? If he's spent years feeling stressed and scared about being the breadwinner why haven't you looked at ways to make more money?

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