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Original poster

Worried - haven't changed name with bank

21 replies

Ollifer · 27/06/2023 17:24

I know this is pathetic from a woman in my 30s but this has become something so huge for me in my head that the longer I put it off the more anxious I feel!!!

I got divorced about 2.5 years ago, and although changed my name everywhere else I still haven't with my bank, so my card is in my married name still. Now I know it's a case of literally going in with my paperwork and changing it but I've become petrified that as I've left it so long I'll be in trouble - so stupid as I know I need to change it anyway at some point !!!

I'm not neurotypical (no shit) and things like this are a real issue for me, I just bury my head in the sand and stay worried about it but don't act on it - but maybe some hard talking from Mumsnet will encourage me to just get on with it, stop procrastinating and bloody do it!

Hate being so incompetent at life

OP posts:

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 27/06/2023 17:38

I've become petrified that as I've left it so long I'll be in trouble

Why? you got divorced mid pandemic. Bank will realise you had other things to deal with and it probably slipped your mind. Just give them a call and tell them ad ask what you need to do to change your account name and get a new card.

LittlePoBeep · 27/06/2023 17:42

You're still entitled to use your married name. I have a credit card in my first married name, my passport and drivers licence in my second married name and my current account is now in my maiden name. Just haven't bothered updating everything.

Malarandras · 27/06/2023 17:43

I’m a widow and my bank account is still in my married name. You can still use your married name if you want to. It’s still your name. I will change my name, I just haven’t gotten around to it yet.

LovelyDaaling · 27/06/2023 17:50

You've done nothing wrong. You can keep the bank account in your married name if you wish. Your choice.

35965a · 27/06/2023 17:51

LovelyDaaling · 27/06/2023 17:50

You've done nothing wrong. You can keep the bank account in your married name if you wish. Your choice.

It’s fine as the above posters say ^

If you do go in and change it don’t worry. I didn’t change my name on my passport until it needed renewing 4 years after I got married. I sent the paperwork off, nothing was said. The bank won’t care at all.

Paddingtonsmarmlade · 27/06/2023 17:53

My mother got divorced in the 90s and still goes by her married name. You've done nothing wrong.

ClashCityRocker · 27/06/2023 17:53

You can use whatever legal name you want provided it isn't fraudulent.

I didn't change my bank account to my married name until after my husband died (eight years after we were actually married). Just never got round to it. Slightly embarrassing as they were congratulating me on the wedding ...

mondaytosunday · 27/06/2023 17:53

I'm a widow and never took my husband's name off the water bill. Most bills were in his name so they all changed to mine but I guess I forgot about the water and sure enough ten years later still getting bills in both our names. I eventually moved out of the area and closed the account. They couldn't have cared less.
I also never declared his car as SORN. It was getting something fixed at the garage at the time and they said they would keep it for me. Six months later I gave it to my stepson - I had to go in to the DVLA to sign over the papers but I didn't get in trouble - they were totally cool about it.
As long as you have ID in the name you want it changed to I don't see an issue.

LubaLuca · 27/06/2023 17:55

Absolutely normal to leave these sorts of amin tasks for years after the event. Go on if you want to change the name on the account, take your decree absolute, nobody will even look at the date on it.

inloveandmarried · 27/06/2023 18:01

I didn't change my name after my divorce.

Many years later I remarried and at this point changed my name.

I still have things in my previous name (banking) but I think as long as you have a paper trail and can prove it's you it will be ok.

My friend who's been married 27 years still has stuff in her maiden name.

I wouldn't let this worry you. Just do it when you next feel able.

Iamclearlyamug · 27/06/2023 18:05

Seriously, don't worry. I literally got divorced 7 years ago and only just got round to changing my name like a month ago.

I just took my birth certificate, driving license and decree absolute to my bank and it took less than 5 minutes - my new card arrived about 3 days later

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 27/06/2023 18:07

Paddingtonsmarmlade · 27/06/2023 17:53

My mother got divorced in the 90s and still goes by her married name. You've done nothing wrong.

Me too. Far too much faff to change everything and I didn't care that much for my unmarried surname anyway.

LittleBearPad · 27/06/2023 18:09

You won’t be in any trouble.

HarpyValley · 27/06/2023 18:16

OP, it took me 14 years to get round to changing my name with my bank after I got married, and I only did it in the end because I received a cheque in my married name that I couldn’t pay in unless I changed my name as they didn’t know me under that name IYSWIM. TBH I’d probably still be banking under my maiden name now if it had been possible to ask the cheque writer to re-send it made out to my maiden name but it was acrimonious circumstances so I took the path of least resistance. I doubt anyone at the bank cares, so long as you have the correct paperwork.

notanotherclairebear · 27/06/2023 20:13

As others have said OP you won't be in any trouble! My MIL got divorced over 30 years and still goes by her married name. The bank won't bat an eyelid

Original poster

Ollifer · 29/06/2023 07:28

Oh lord, thank you so much all. I was such a wimp I was even scared to come back to the thread 🤣😭

I'm going to go in next week and do it!

OP posts:

veryfluffyfluff · 29/06/2023 07:31

You haven't done anything wrong. I left it a year - just forgot!

Doggymummar · 29/06/2023 07:34

I've been divorced three times, never changed stuff until unremarried. My PayPal is in my first married name from 1991 as they don't accept any proof I have that my name is different.

SistersNotCisters · 29/06/2023 07:36

When you get married you get to keep that name for as long as you like. It's yours for life. Change it, don't change it. Doesn't matter.

Original poster

Ollifer · 29/06/2023 07:47

I actually never realised you could still use both names after marriage - wish I'd have known for the past two years would have saved a lot of mental anguish :D that's the beauty of Mumsnet

OP posts:

HarpyValley · 29/06/2023 08:04

Ollifer · 29/06/2023 07:47

I actually never realised you could still use both names after marriage - wish I'd have known for the past two years would have saved a lot of mental anguish :D that's the beauty of Mumsnet

For the last 10 years I had my passport in my married name and my driving licence in my maiden name! So long as you’re not doing it for fraudulent purposes you can use any name you want.

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