Regular poster but name changed for privacy.
Background first cos it's important.
Live in high incubent ex-pat area. We moved 2.5 years ago.
DC started school 18 months ago.
Towards the end of the last acdemic year became friendly with a couple of Mums in my eldest DC's class via playdates etc.
Became closer to these Mums outside of the kids this accademic year as started seeing them regularly at shall we say an exercise group we all attend.
Also attending the exercise group are some other mum friends of these 2 ladies who they know via their older children - all in same class.
We've become a friendly group with lots of sociallising outside of kids and exercising and they probably are some of my closest friends here, I am however aware I am still on the periphial of the group (their older children are all 7 so they have known each other a while and I think some even prior to school).
There are also a few ladies whose children are in the same older class who don't do the exercise thing who are all very good friends with my friends (am I making sense??) whom I know much less but have met them 3/4 times at social events now.
Two lovely, one less so for absolutely no reason I can assertain - let's call her Sara let's call her Sara (btw I'm nice and 'normal' not bolshy loud or any of the other things I can think might make someone take an almost instant dislike, she doen't know my child who is also lovely most the time so no problems there??),
There has since been another lady whose child joined the older class this spring and has started exercising with us. We both me Sarah at same event and Sarah was delightful to her and I think their children have had play dates. I'm saying this because it clearly isn't a thing with newcomers in general.
The last time I saw Sarah she seemed to have thawed a little. We had some nice 1:1 chats and she even hugged me (what seemed to be genuinley) at the end of the night.
Now dilema one of the original group messaged me this afternoon saying shes organising a little weekend away for Sarah's 40th later this year and Abi lets her call, says it would be ace if I would come. It's expensive and miles away so can't be a surprise for Sarah!
I would love to spend a fun weekend away with all of these ladies and really cement the friendships as we do plan on staying here at least for the next 5 years, but I am really not sure Sarah would want me to come, despite recent thaw. Especially not if it was surpise.
Nb Abi and Sarah are very close so Sarah's clearly not shared her initial dislike 😂.
Now here's the other dilema it's also my 40th the same month. I kind of hoped most of these ladies would at least come out for drink for mine, some of the girls know I'm 40 around the same time of year but probably not made the connection on exact date - which is 8 days later 😂.
Clearly i am human and want to celebrate my own birthday as well but, its going to have been on social media, and it's obviously going to come up in conversation nearer the time. Is everyone going to feel awkward as heck being oh happy 40th birthday Sarah....oh and you Pumpkin 😬. I'm feeling cringe already. I feel out of the group I am the last person Sarah probably wants to share her 40th with. But like I said I'm human and don't want to pretend its not my birthday too!
How do I reply, help????