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Original poster

DS being excluded

32 replies

Exhausted2023 · 26/06/2023 18:31

My DS, age 15 attends a SEN school. Every year a particular parent organises an end of year outing. My DS has not been invited. Every other child has been invited. It's deliberate.

DS is 15 but young for his years. Said parent does not like me, but to hurt an innocent child is just an absolute low. How do I handle this? I'm both upset and furious.

OP posts:
Original poster
Exhausted2023 · 27/06/2023 12:20

At the heart of all this, is a hurt child. Maybe I'm naive, but if I don't get on with an adult, I don't punish their child. Clearly others take a different view.

OP posts:
Horizabel · 27/06/2023 12:20

I think there's a difference between organising a 'private' outing in her capacity as a parent and choosing not to invite your son (are you sure it's her rather than her child who is driving this, incidentally, given that they are 15, as you don't say what form the SEN take, and how 'young' they are psycholoigically?) and her acting in some form of 'official' capacity on behalf of the school.

With the latter, obviously, you should speak to the school. With the former, obviously your son will feel hurt, but the school can have no remit to intervene if it's a non-school outing that takes place out of school time, off school premises, without school staff, insurance etc and not in the name of the school.

Original poster
Exhausted2023 · 27/06/2023 12:24

Horizabel · 27/06/2023 12:20

I think there's a difference between organising a 'private' outing in her capacity as a parent and choosing not to invite your son (are you sure it's her rather than her child who is driving this, incidentally, given that they are 15, as you don't say what form the SEN take, and how 'young' they are psycholoigically?) and her acting in some form of 'official' capacity on behalf of the school.

With the latter, obviously, you should speak to the school. With the former, obviously your son will feel hurt, but the school can have no remit to intervene if it's a non-school outing that takes place out of school time, off school premises, without school staff, insurance etc and not in the name of the school.

Autism is the additional need.
To exclude one child, is horrid. It does impact school relationships as the kids will talk about the trip, it's like getting wounded repeatedly, to keep hearing about it.
Cannot wait to get through these school years, it's the parents, not the kids, I am utterly sick of.

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Horizabel · 27/06/2023 12:35

I'm not disagreeing that the exclusion is upsetting for your son. I'm just saying that I imagine the school won't be able to intervene in an out of school activity that's organised by a parent in a private capacity.

Foxesandsquirrels · 27/06/2023 13:00

Horizabel · 27/06/2023 12:35

I'm not disagreeing that the exclusion is upsetting for your son. I'm just saying that I imagine the school won't be able to intervene in an out of school activity that's organised by a parent in a private capacity.

I would agree with you, if this wasn't a special school. In SEN schools, it can and does, massively effect the class. It should definitely be flagged.

Balloonhearts · 27/06/2023 13:16

Wow. It really comes to something when the parents are more nasty and immature than the 15 year olds. Especially when the 15 year olds have special needs and have no idea WHY they're being left out. It's not like she's even making a point to him, it's just nastiness for the sake of nastiness.

Original poster
Exhausted2023 · 27/06/2023 16:48

Sycasmores · 26/06/2023 19:42

Why doesn't the other mother like your son? Is he violent or mean to her child. If this was the mother posting and saying should I invite my child's bully to our end of year party the response would be a resounding no.

I'm not saying your child is the problem or is a bully but it's impossible to have an opinion without knowing more.

Regardless maybe throw your own end of year party next year?

Our children get on ok. She doesn't like me, hence my child has to suffer.

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