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Original poster

DH away for DD 16th birthday

30 replies

FishGottaSwim · 26/06/2023 17:57

Am not feeling up to AIBU but wanted to canvass opinions as I've lost all perspective.

DD is 16 soon (on a saturday) and DH will be away with a group doing a hobby all that weekend, leaving Fri, back Sun.

Incidentally I'm also now having an op on the Weds before (gall bladder out)!

Months ago DD was hoping to go with DH but doesn't want to now for various very legitimate reasons.

He's grudgingly said he won't go if my op is difficult and I need looking after, but he wouldn't do this in a loving way, but in a low level grumpy way.

I don't know , I just wish he would decide not to go so he could see DD on her birthday!! It breaks my heart a bit to be honest.

Am I stupid here!!

OP posts:
WetBandits · 26/06/2023 20:56

MagicBullet · 26/06/2023 20:15

You see the dd might well thinks she doesn’t care.
But that’s not the point

If he had ASKED her first and she had said ‘nope, I dint care. I’m happy to do something together the following WE’, then fair enough.
But he is ASSUMING he can go away and do whatever and everyone else has to be happy with it. Because it works fir him. He is not asking or thinking about his dd. He is expecting that everyone will just accept what he says/decides.
He us also assuming that the OP will be around to smooth things over if need be - see that he hasn’t asked so doesn’t know how his dd feels about it. (Let’s remember she was supposed to spend that WE with him!)

And the same thing is happening with the OP’s surgery. The level of entitlement is impressive tbh

Show quote history

She was meant to be going with him and has decided she doesn’t want to go anymore, though? They had plans and she’s cancelled them and doesn’t have any alternatives in mind. Are they meant to just all sit at home and do nothing?

rwalker · 26/06/2023 21:07

Really couldn’t get worked up about this but birthdays for me growing up and now are a bit of a none event not the second coming

for the life of me I couldn’t imagine being heartbroken over this
tbh at 16 I’d be expecting and encourage them to do something with friends

Original poster
FishGottaSwim · 26/06/2023 21:20

Thanks all I really appreciate all your comments, lots of food for thought.

OP posts:

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Families
runningonberocca · 26/06/2023 21:25

Not a big deal at all. Assume she’ll want to be spending the day with her friends anyway

EmmaGrundyForPM · 27/06/2023 03:27

He's not an arsehole for going away on DDs birthday given that she was supposed to be going with him.but cancelled.

However he is one for going away 2 days after you've had surgery.

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