How to make new friends as an adult?

[Lonelyishy]

We moved to a new area of London to be close to family, and it doesn’t seem to have masses of “people like me” in it. I tried with school parents but haven’t found anyone I really click with and vice versa.

I’m a little lonely here, tbh. I do work, and enjoy my job, but lots of my original London friends moved away. So I really lack friends close by.

How do I find minded people and make new friends as an adult? I’d love some sense of community too. (This isn’t that sort of area - think lots of old people or finance workers who aren’t really invested in being part of a local thing - it’s also just rows and rows of nice houses with no real hub.)

I feel like I’m counting down the years until I can move to someone I like better! Which isn’t healthy for my marriage!

“People like me” 😂

my spidey senses tell me that you’re going to struggle

Hobby groups
Volunteering

Depends what you mean by people like you really. Do your DC go to any groups?

It’s an area with very competitive, corporate type people because it’s expensive. Lots of talk of jobs and house prices, house renovations and private schools for secondary etc.

I see that people think I’m being rude by saying that we don’t have things in common! And using the term “people like me”, and maybe I am! But I’m not super into all that stuff, even though I understand it’s universal small talk to break the ice.

I think people here are friendly, but seems like there’s a low likelihood of real friendships forming from the other parents I’ve met so far, so looking for other ways to meet people.

Anyway, that’s just the area I’m in for now! But wondering how I make friends in general now that I’m an adult in a new area!

@Lonelyishy following because I'm dealing with the same thing. I've moved so often throughout my life that it has been hard to make new friends anywhere and I find nothing wrong with you saying "People like me", everyone would like to meet people that they have something in common with

All the friends I’ve made since leaving uni I’ve made through running - clubs and parkrun.

I volunteer at a foodbank, go to a choir, go to WI (two actually!). Have met people at all of these things. It was a bit daunting going in somewhere alone but everyone is so welcoming.

I really like the ideas and am researching them - thank you! I would like to be more fit, so like the thought of a running club!

And I also really like the idea of volunteering at a food bank.

lots of old people or finance workers

Dulwich? Blackheath?

Seriously though, I’ve mostly made friends at work but I superficially interact with some nice folks at a sports course (we’re all shit ) and a language class. It could be possible to make friends that way, depending on who’s in the group obviously.

Years ago I, strangely, made a lot of a friends at yoga!

How the fuck is that helpful

Stop waiting for the ideal social situation to present itself and make your own. I've mentioned this on various threads over the last few years, but I was you (in a more rural setting), and I took the plunge and started my own Meetup group. It wasn't easy, it wasn't an instant success, but I stuck with it and have a solid group of friends now. I can guarantee that there are other people just like you in your area. Do it! PM me if you want more advice.

If I were you, I'd just assume there won't be many people like you but there will be some. And the only way to flush them out is to be yourself. If they start conversations about house renovation and private schooling, you can start conversations about stuff that makes you tick. Eventually someone will respond well and you'll get to know them.

At least you're in London. Whatever interests you, you can find somewhere in London, so maybe sign up for a couple of things you love - evening classes or sports clubs, as close to where you live as possible, and see if you can meet anyone there.

And invite old friends to lunch at weekends. Keep old, good friendships alive. London is easy to get around. Moving from one area to another doesn't mean you can't see old friends.

I’d love some sense of community too. (This isn’t that sort of area - think lots of old people

Why do you think that older people don't want a sense of Community ?

From your posts, you are giving me the impression that friends have to tick certain boxes for you...... not old people..... not allowed to talk of jobs and house prices, house renovations and private schools for secondary etc. .... no finance workers.
Perhaps be more open to different possibilities ?

The best idea, always though for making friends is to join things, or volunteer at things that you will enjoy. You will instantly be mingling with like minded people. Obviously in a huge City, there will be plenty to choose from.

I was amazed when I went on Meetup
to see how many different groups there are. Something for everybody or as someone said start your own.
I’ve met people from political groups and wildlife volunteering. If you have some passionate interests you will meet people but it takes some work