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Different parenting styles causing friendship problems

2 replies

ChildrenOfRuin · 24/06/2023 14:50

Is it possible to maintain a friendship when the friend has a drastically different stance on parenting?

Without going into detail, I feel that her parenting style is excessively permissive. Although I don’t criticise the way she’s doing things when she’s talking about it, as how she chooses to parent her DC is none of my business.
But it’s annoying me at the moment because she’s been openly critical about my parenting lately. Critical over things like me being strict with my DC over teeth brushing and making them sit at the table to eat dinner, which aren’t unreasonable things to expect DC to do IMO.

I know the obvious answer is to just not talk about DC, but the problem with that is that she’s a home schooling SAHM (primary school age DC), so she spends the vast majority of her time with her DC, and understandably, as a result her DC are the main topic of conversation.

We’ve been friends since before either of us had DC, but this is something that’s really starting to get at me. Especially since she’s started sniping at the way I’m doing things.

OP posts:
bb192 · 24/06/2023 14:55

ChildrenOfRuin · 24/06/2023 14:50

Is it possible to maintain a friendship when the friend has a drastically different stance on parenting?

Without going into detail, I feel that her parenting style is excessively permissive. Although I don’t criticise the way she’s doing things when she’s talking about it, as how she chooses to parent her DC is none of my business.
But it’s annoying me at the moment because she’s been openly critical about my parenting lately. Critical over things like me being strict with my DC over teeth brushing and making them sit at the table to eat dinner, which aren’t unreasonable things to expect DC to do IMO.

I know the obvious answer is to just not talk about DC, but the problem with that is that she’s a home schooling SAHM (primary school age DC), so she spends the vast majority of her time with her DC, and understandably, as a result her DC are the main topic of conversation.

We’ve been friends since before either of us had DC, but this is something that’s really starting to get at me. Especially since she’s started sniping at the way I’m doing things.

Could you be honest but a light hearted way. So for example she snips at your parenting could you not say "I think it's obvious we have different parenting styles so let's avoid that topic" and move onto a completely different discussion/topic then you've made it clear you do not want to compare or discussing parenting but you want to keep the friendship?
It's not saying not to discuss DC's but it's politely saying not to discuss parenting, well compare parenting

FlounderingFruitcake · 24/06/2023 15:04

No I don’t think it’s possible to stay friends with someone that is openly rude to you! Maybe she’s being defensive, maybe she’s just not a very nice person. Regardless there’s no way I’d put up with someone insulting my parenting who tbh also sounds quite boring if all she can talk about are the kids, which as you say also means that aren’t really any mutual things to chat about.

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