Help! I am catching my feelings for my casual hook up guy….

[Lon3ly2k23]

As the title says… I went on a date about 6 weeks ago with this guy and we hit it off. I’ve since seen him probably average once a week and I think I have become emotionally attached.

I haven’t asked what we are, or where it’s going. I feel like I am getting mixed messages, but generally I do think it’s a casual hook up from his part. We just hang out and have sex basically.

How do I stop myself from being hurt? I can see this ending in tears and I don’t know what to do. Should I ask him are we dating? Are we not? What’s he looking for? And so forth….

I caved in and messaged 😫

I also married my FWB!

Just talk to him about it, if all he’s after is a hookup then you can move on but there’s no point wondering and guessing and never asking.

He’s probably just going to ghost me. Honestly I can’t cope with this. I have to stop dating for a while.

Sorry OP, but he doesn't want anything serious. If he did, he wouldn't be blowing hot and cold. You need to end it.

Just make the decision and block him now, stop torturing yourself. Sorry, men are often shallow and despicable.

If I were you, I would delete his number and any other form of contact you have for him. IF he then messages you, you can have the delight of replying 'sorry, who is this?'

Get back on Bumble and find yourself another date or two. Life is too short to be miserable over one person who's not on the same page as you.

@Lon3ly2k23
Hi OP, I posted earlier to say I was in the same situation and I walked away from the guy. I didn’t message him again, and he called me yesterday. He’d had time to think and didn’t want to not be with me so we’re giving it a proper go, exclusive dating and commitment etc.

If the guy wants you then he will tell you so after you have made your feelings and boundaries clear. If he doesn’t, then you just want different things. Don’t chase him anymore. Delete his contact info and move on. You’ve said your piece. There is nothing more you can do.

I don't agree. OP implied to him that she only wanted something casual! He's not done anything wrong.

An update if anyone cares. I saw him on Thursday night. So many mixed messages, I invited him to my birthday in a few weeks and he said he would come but then said he didn’t want any pressure to put a label on things. We had a nice evening, lots of intimacy but I’ve barely heard from him since.

I know something has to change because I am attached. It’s just accepting short-term pain over long-term pain.

Yep, as @SchoolDramaQueen said. No need to stop looking or dating. But…don’t be too quick for sex. Yes, we all know woman want sex, same as men, but for some men, when the chase is over they’re off. If a bloke is interested, he’ll hang around.

'lots of intimacy'

Yeah. You're giving him the string free sex he wants.

You want more.

Value yourself more (because you want more, not because you're having sex with him)

Walk away.

I foresee a very sad birthday OP if you are wondering whether he’s going to turn up - please stop seeing him, you want different things.