My youngest of 4 DD’s (just turned 12) is driving me up the wall, I suspect NNT and she has in the past been flagged up as struggling with concepts at school but DH won’t really entertain it so we just continue with us all at logger heads with me normally being the mediator.
DH however is in the Forces and is currently away so it’s just me and today for the 1st time today have thought to myself I really don’t know how I’m going to cope on my own for the next couple of months.
She can be the sweetest child, affectionate, funny, very ourdoorsy, adores her animals, switched on (if anyone has ever lost anything she is the one to ask) however there is just no reasoning with her about anything and she has no ability to look inwards at her own actions and entertain anything she doesn’t want to do, from bed time, sharing chores, to wearing the correct school uniform, to taking things that’s aren’t hers, to eating peoples food, to leaving the house on time for school, the list is just endless, it’s all a constant battle.
Teaming that with the now dreaded Y7 personality transplant (been through it with all my DD’s,) hormones and her digging her heals in at doing anything quickly and her being the youngest and always trying to push the boundaries on things that are age appropriate, it’s just seems to the right mixture of elements to push me over the edge.
This morning she missed her school bus because she was trying to take her sisters tote bag instead of her school bag but big sis needed it, all hell broke loose, she was screaming, refusing to go to school, dragged her heals, spent another 15 minutes in front of her mirror putting lip gloss on, came down chewing gum loudly l, told me I was pathetic, now has to walk a mile to the main bus stop to catch bus but she isn’t bothered! I am though, she is only just 12.
I’ve tried everything, taking her phone off her, taking away privileges, shouting, sitting down and trying to talk to her, ignoring negative and rewarding positive behaviour absolutely nothing works.
This afternoon she will come in like nothing has happened and all will be forgotten till the next time that something isn’t going the way she wants and we will start all over again.
I’ve just spoke to my very unsympathetic DM on the phone who said I can’t believe you let her miss the bus, just make her leave the house (!?!!!) obviously if it was as easy as that I would, but I can’t physically man handle her out the house, the more I react, shout, touch her the more she becomes aggressive, defiant and we are less likely to get a positive outcome so generally my tactic is to defuse but then other DC say that it’s unfair and DD gets away with everything and they are right…
DD ended up taking the tote bag this morning as she wouldn’t have left for school otherwise.
I really would love to hear from anyone who has a child with similar traits, and any support, help, advice would be really helpful.
She is my 4th DD and I like to think I’m a good mum but I’m constantly wondering if I’ve somehow caused this behaviour.