.....and I think it might be the neighbours.
First I'll say smoking is a huge issue for me. I can't help it, it just distresses me and tied up with lying makes me see red.
DH died of a cancer that his consultant told us was "incredibly rare in people of your age who don't smoke". DH was a secret smoker. I know I have to work through the issues, but it feels like he couldn't love us enough to stay with is if it meant sacrificing the fags. I know he was unlucky too, but he did risk his health and he did lie about it.
Anyway I know all that makes my response to DS disproportionate.
He has definitely vaped in his room. I've found the evidence and there has often been a strong smell. He's promised he'll never do it again. I can't control what he does outside the house and although he says he's not, he always comes home drenched in aftershave so I imagine he's hiding something.
Anyway recently there been several occasions when vape is the first thing I smell when I get home. I still think it's most likely DS, but I noticed when in the garden last night, that the neighbour is vaping in his garden, quite close to our (usually in this weather) open French windows.
DS gets furious if I challenge him over "something he hasn't done" but he also get furious when caught out for something he has done.
Do I apologise for possibly having misjudged him?
I've told him he's an adult and it's up to him what he does elsewhere but I just can't have that smell in the house with all its connotations for me.