Tips for fear of flying

[Ljc1985]

24 hours till our flight. Short haul to Spain Friday am.

Currently feel emotional and like I'm sending entire family to certain death.

How can I keep this in check and not ruin my family's excitement

For context I've flown many times. I have always been nervous but since Covid and having a baby it's got so so much worse. I always get on the plane but the days before a holiday I'm a emotional wreck and I struggle to sleep

Any tips or advice

Watch some YouTube videos of bog standard flights (yes, people do record these and upload them). It helped me a lot, just reminded me of all the sounds, the atmosphere etc. and it then felt more familiar when I got on.

Too late for this trip, but most airports run specific courses to help with anxiety. Have you spoken you your GP for anything to help?

https://flyingwithconfidence.com/

https://www.fearlessflyer.easyjet.com/

https://www.gatwickairport.com/at-the-airport/passenger-services/Travel-advice/fear-of-flying/

Just think about the actual likelihood of something happening.. it's more likely you'll get into a car accident on your way to the airport- are you worried about driving to the airport ? That thought always helps me anyway.

Go and see your GP tomorrow. Mine gave me diazepam for the flight as I struggle to get on the plane.

They have stopped doing this.

I have an anxiety disorder but bizarrely am cool
with flying. What is it about it that’s bothering you?
perhaps we can help you. I’m flying Friday night so we can talk if you want.

Annoyingly I'm really intolerant and allergic to most medication so would be to nervous to take it just in case but I will bear this in mind for next time as could test it before.

I had got so much better pre 2020 but this seems to be the worst run up yet.

I was advised to keep visualising disembarking at the arrival airport ( instead of plunging to my death) as that's what's 99.9% likely to happen in reality.

So every time you start picturing a disaster, switch to the image of you walking down the steps to start your holiday instead. It does help.

Fellow anxiety sufferer which def adds to it. For flying I think it's a mix of being convinced we will crash and also not being in control and a little claustrophobic.

I get the train to work everyday and try to
convince myself it's the same but it just doesn't work.

Oh that's a great idea thank you. Intrusive thoughts are what goes through my mind 99% of the time

I had one session of Neuro linguist programming. It worked for me. I still go through the "put that feeling in a box, watch that box getting smaller and smaller until it disappears" .

take off and landing were always most difficult for me. Now I read my book and really don't notice it.

Im sorry you’re so anxious.

I’m also terrified of flying to the extent where I have had to be consoled by staff as I was so overwhelmed. I read that part of the panic response is to do with the increased amount of noise not being the norm and so I now have a song downloaded with a fairly fast but steady beat, maybe 3 or 4 beats per second. I have it on repeat for taxi and take off until we are up and the seatbelt sign is off (worse time for me). I play it really loud and I count along to the beats, up to 100 then I start again. I don’t stop until I feel safe. This has really helped me. The other thing I may do is count letters or stitches in the seat or anything I can count relatively steadily.

I never look at the outside of the plane and always count how many seats I have to go over if there was a problem. I’d likely never use this option, but it helps me maintain a sense of control. I noticed that my youngest started copying my fears so I’ve taken some active steps to help as I don’t want her to feel the same way!

We live under a flight path so I always try to visualise those planes flying over - if they can make it so can I.

I hope you find something to help, it is horrible.

Allow yourself to feel afraid. It's ok to be afraid. You fighting it so hard only makes it 1,000x worse.

I had this for years!!

I used to take diazepam for every flight but actually over the years I got worse and would spend the weeks running up to holidays dreaming of the flight and basically living it over and over before I even did the actual flight. It was exhausting and I dreaded my holidays!
After many years I was encouraged to have hypnotherapy by a friend and believe it or not it actually worked. I didn't believe it would and set off for the airport with my tablets fully expecting to feel terrified as usual. But I didn't take them and I was fine.
I didn't love it but I wasn't scared either. I have been calm on every flight since. As I said I don't enjoy it but neither am I shaking with fear like I once was. This was 6 years ago and I could do with a top up but the hypnotherapist has moved away so I get by.

Also I take wordsearch puzzles on board to keep me distracted if it gets a bit turbulent.
Sit near the front, there is less movement and less to look at.
I would definitely recommend hypnotherapy. Mine did the 'reframing' thing and it made a huge difference and I feel much less stressed about flying.

I started to develop a fear of flying in my early 20's (I suffer from anxiety and had a flight from Egypt where i was really ill and that triggered something). That was one of the reasons I became Cabin Crew, to face my fear! It really is a control thing, as soon as I was working on the plane, my fear disappeared.
Agree with the PP who suggested watching some videos and familiarise yourself with the different sounds of the plane and the cabin crew signals (the beeps on the tannoy).
If any passengers had a panic attack on my flights we gave them a strong drink and that always worked!
Also I know its easier said than done, but try to think about what an amazing trip you're having rather than catastrophising. You've got this!

Wow this is amazing. You became cabin crew to overcome your fear of flying. I take my hat off to you. Do you mind me asking what made your fear disappear when you were regularly flying? Was it just familiarity?

We did 6 weeks of training, mostly covering how to keep the 235 passengers safe in the event of an emergency. And it was just like a switch flicked in my brain and the fear was gone! I think when you're a passenger strapped down in a seat, you're not in control and don't always know what the different noises are. Once you understand everything about the plane it just becomes like jumping in your car or on the bus - familiar.

I always take an eye mask and noise cancelling headphones. They go on as soon as I'm sat in my seat.
Take a travel pillow and try to sleep if you can.- a short flight goes much quicker. I also take a book/kindle/wordsearch that is interesting so if mine can't settle.during takeoff prep etc I will try and focus on those.
Spend Time in the airport mooching around the shops rather than sitting and thinking.
Take hard boiled sweets for takeoff and landing.

@RachaelRachael
thank you that makes a lot of sense.

I don't like flying, and find take-off be landing particularly unpleasant. I find playing a game like Tetris really helps: you have to concentrate on it, there's a time-sensitive element so you just don't get a chance to raise your head and pay much attention to what's going on around you.

I got some really high scores!

Wow this is amazing! Thank you for sharing

Idea of a game to play is really good: I think I will download candy crush as that's pretty addictive for the flight

Thanks everyone your all making me feel much better

On our way for the airport and trying to channel all these positive thoughts

Remember and keep telling yourself - just because something is frightening, it doesn't mean it's dangerous. Feeling frightened is unpleasant but it won't be for long.

Also I always watch the cabin crew. As long as they look relaxed, I know everything is ok.

Good luck and have a great trip!