Worried about transition to high school?

[InAFickle]

DS10 (11 in July) has ASD and sensory processing disorder. He is off to secondary in September and I’m quite worried about it.

He is already struggling in Year 6 but I have no idea why or what is causing the issues. His school tell me he’s an Angel and he needs no support, but he is such an angry ball of emotions at home.

For the past two days the second he has stepped across the threshold, he has become angry and argumentative. He does not want to get up for school each morning, he already struggles with sleep but he is not going to sleep until nearly 11pm. Late last night, he had a meltdown because his sheets were changed (this has never happened before).

He knows he doesn’t feel right but he can’t explain why; it all manifests in his behaviour. He has very few friends and he is unable to make new ones. He is abrupt and corrects people often which goes down like a lead balloon. He hates noise and crowds and it causes him anxiety.

His school are not much help as they say he’s an Angel.

He is my oldest child so I have no idea what to expect. Can people share how their ASD boys have managed the transition? Positive or negative?

What is the school currently doing? I found that after May half-term not a lot really happened in DD's Y6 apart from a trip incl. preparation, they worked on a leaver's play and leaver's assembly they did themselves.

Is he out of bounds because his normal school routine has changed?

I also found that a lot of them were just fed up with each other. There were definitely lots of drama going on.

Could he be masking to an extreme and at home just let all of it go? That's what DD does when things outside her control really get stressful for her.

Did you speak already to the Senco at the secondary school? If he has an induction date soon, it would help if they are aware of him. One of DD's classmates had a separate session with the Senco team so they could put things in place to make transistion easiser.

Could he be at the lower end of starting male puberty?

His school are doing nothing for him. I’ve given up with them because they
don’t see any issues. I have met with the SEN teacher at the new school and he will have some time with them before transfer but I’m just so worried about his anxiety levels as he does mask very well.

No signs of a growth spurt or anything yet.

I was really, really worried about DC (ASD/ADHD) going up to secondary. So many sleeplessness nights. I remember the last term of y6 being very disruptive, it was all very different to ‘normal’ school; reduced lessons for end of year play practice, prepping yearbooks, leavers assembly, everyone talking about secondary, classmates going to different school etc..They started at secondary and settled well, the structured environment really suited them; uniform, timetable, expectations, homework apps, rules etc. Looking back i now realise how difficult primary school must have been because it was all so ‘fluid’. Currently in Y9 and although a few ups and down it’s mainly been positive.