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Had a panic attack in front of work colleagues - feeling a complete fool

18 replies

ClickingTock123 · 21/06/2023 18:38

Huge introvert here and absolutely hate attention of any kind. I've always (touch wood) done fine at work but I've spent so many days and nights worrying about making mistakes if I added it all up it would be at least a full year. I suffer with massive imposter syndrome and I never believe compliments. I'm 41 but often just feel like a frightened, needy little girl.

So this morning I was in a meeting with four other colleagues (one of whom I'd never met) and although all of them are lovely I started feeling the panic rising. In the end it was nothing massive but we were looking at a draft of some documents I'd put together last month. It turned out part of it needed tweaking and I've done it now, but oh my word the instant terror thinking I'd fucked up hugely. The wobble must have only lasted three minutes before I calmed down and pulled myself together but it felt like an hour. I just wanted to run away. I didn't speak if I didn't need to because I knew my voice would be wobbly and I'd look incompetent and I put my hands behind my back because I knew they'd be shaking. My cheeks were probably bright purple just standing there like a fool. Just tried to tell myself to get a grip and not worry about it like so many others seem to do. The comedown felt amazing like a breeze of cold air and after that I tried make up for it and say as much as possible but I feel so stupid. To feel so exposed with anxiety like that in front of four very senior, confident people. I might as well have been stood there naked.

I feel utterly downtrodden. If I'd known beforehand what to expect and feel the way I do now instead of being put on the spot like that I'd have handled it so much better. But I just wanted to bolt out of the room. I couldn't stop panicking. I was trying not to breathe loudly too, which made me go dizzy.

Mortified. They probably talked about it all afternoon, or even worse pitied me. Work place anxiety is a 50 year sentence.

OP posts:
MollysBrolly · 21/06/2023 18:53

I've had 2 panic attacks - first one sobbed in the office while senior manager said "I'll leave you with colleague she makes a cracker cuppa - and she did.

then again I'd reached the end of very long shit filled months at work and broke down in front off the boss who gave me hug and listened while I went in and on about how shit things were.

it happens don't be ashamed

ClickingTock123 · 21/06/2023 19:45

Thanks. Wish I could be one of those people who just don't get fussed by things but I can't be. I'm constantly waiting for the axe to fall.

OP posts:
PinkLazyApple · 21/06/2023 19:50

@ClickingTock123 sending you a big hug In sympathy. I'm the same age and had a massive panic attack in front of a very senior manager of mine very recently. I completely fell apart, it was awful!

It will get better with time, your memory of this will fade. I'm going to make sure I've a stock of propranolol so it doesn't happen again. The other thing that's made me feel better is that no one thinks badly of you and if they do, they're a wanker. If I saw someone having a panic attack I would feel empathy for you.

SparklingLime · 21/06/2023 20:19

Honestly, it will have been so much less noticeable to others. Have you had any help as your description of the more general impact anxiety has on your life is so sad to read.

HamBone · 21/06/2023 20:23

Oh, you poor thing, that must’ve been horrible. 💐 You handled it v. well so put it out of your mind.

Are you getting any help for your anxiety? I realized that I needed help after a panic attack and went to my GP.

ClickingTock123 · 21/06/2023 20:34

I considered private therapy last year from someone who specialises in low self esteem / not feeling good enough etc but I had to put the money towards an unexpected bill in the end. I will definitely look at it again at some point.

Ironically outside of work I take no shit from anyone and am actually very assertive! It's not a case of changing work environments I don't think, I'd be like this no matter what I do for a living. If I delivered pizzas for a living (NOTHING WRONG WITH PIZZA DELIVERERS) I'd worry I'd deliver it to the wrong house! Or if something was missing from the order I'd panic it was my fault.

I had one or two really, really horrible primary school teachers who made me feel sick with fear. I even wonder if somehow it goes all the way back to that. The whole school / work / authority thing.

OP posts:
WhatInFreshHell · 21/06/2023 20:37

Sounds like you handled it incredibly well OP, so well done on that.

HamBone · 21/06/2023 20:40

If you’re having panic attacks, I personally think that you should see your GP. I had some counseling and I’m on a low dose of AD’s, which has really helped me.

TooTiredAndFedUp · 21/06/2023 20:47

My mental health hasn't been the greatest lately and I had a "meltdown" in work, was crying, shaking, could hardly speak and I was also very embarrassed. I know people seen me as they were looking and someone asked if she needed to go and get someone, I got told to go home and rest. I walked in the day after thinking people would question me, there was no need to worry as nobody mentioned it.

Even if they didn't notice they probably won't mention it.

ClickingTock123 · 21/06/2023 20:47

It's not (touch wood) a regular thing. It happened once last November, a two minute fluster, when I found myself in an embarrassing situation because it put me on the spot. Then once today again because I felt thrust into a sudden uncomfortable situation. Before that the last time - again work related because of an abusive caller and I don't usually deal with calls - was October 2020. If it had not been work related and was a personal call I'd have shrugged, told him to fuck off and not given it a moment's further thought!

OP posts:
ThatsACoolShirt · 21/06/2023 20:50

Sounds like you handled it incredibly well OP, so well done on that.

I agree.

IF they picked up on anything, it will have been so much less than what you were feeling going through it. And if they ever say anything, just say you had a wave of nausea come over you and you felt a bit off. No big deal.

Definitely consider therapy in future when you’re able to.

💐

Floribundaflummery · 21/06/2023 20:55

I really recommend CBT. I was given ten free sessions only short wait prescribed by GP for anxiety especially how to deal with panic attacks, learning to breathe, take time and reframe panicky thoughts. I found it very effective. It is an absolutely horrible feeling but you really can find a way to not have to live with this. Good luck OP and I’m sure other people don’t notice half of what we can think is really embarrassing.

SwedishEdith · 21/06/2023 20:56

They probably talked about it all afternoon, or even worse pitied me

They won't. It will really be bigger to you than anyone else.

SapphosRock · 21/06/2023 21:11

Oh OP I I know how you feel, workplace anxiety is the pits and can make existing feel like a huge ordeal.

It will definitely have felt more noticeable to you. They probably just though you were a bit nervous.

Have you thought about medication for your anxiety? I resisted for years but when it got so bad I could barely eat or sleep I started fluoxetine. It has been pretty life changing.

SilverPeacock · 21/06/2023 21:14

I feel your pain OP. I have had same happen to me and I go really red in the face more regularly in meetings. I’ve not long started a new job where I’m sort of fairly senior and I don’t really understand why it happens but it is mortifying. Like you I think there is something very deep rooted. I have also thought about CBT.

87SPD · 21/06/2023 21:20

Just want to echo what others have said - sounds like you should be extremely proud of how well you handled the situation. I can guarantee it wouldn’t have been as noticeable as you thought.

You say the people in front of you were confident and senior but the likelihood is at least one of them would have felt similar feelings at some point too.

I have suffered with anxiety and panic attacks since I was a child and found CBT so worthwhile it really does give you all of the tools to navigate those feelings and help you understand where they come from.

Please keep telling yourself over and over how strong you were today. If a negative thought about yourself keeps hammering away at you knock it out with a positive thought, literally out loud, make a conscious effort to keep knocking out those negative critical mean thoughts of yourself. You are strong, capable and so brave to have come back from that feeling. You didn’t let it take over you remember that!

💐 xxx

ClickingTock123 · 21/06/2023 21:29

Thanks everyone. You've been so kind x

OP posts:
HamBone · 21/06/2023 21:33

Floribundaflummery · 21/06/2023 20:55

I really recommend CBT. I was given ten free sessions only short wait prescribed by GP for anxiety especially how to deal with panic attacks, learning to breathe, take time and reframe panicky thoughts. I found it very effective. It is an absolutely horrible feeling but you really can find a way to not have to live with this. Good luck OP and I’m sure other people don’t notice half of what we can think is really embarrassing.

I second this, OP. My personal experience is that anxiety doesn’t just go away unless it’s addressed. I was diagnosed with GAD after suffering from it for 20 years on and off. It didn’t prevent me from having a successful life, but I’m much happier since getting help.

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