Hi! I absolutely love your videos. I’m a young mum I’m 22 and I’ve just had my first baby in February. Theres been nothing but problems with my fiancés family. Some examples Include;
- Landing at the house and Walking in unannounced
- sending/posting photos of baby
- expecting to take baby to them when requested
- signing birthday cards, Father’s Day cards on behalf of us and baby without asking
- telling us we are doing everything wrong and not giving baby back for feeds or to soothe if crying.
- Other behaviour issues such as calling my finance fat, saying he looks more pregnant more than I did, MIL not allowing me to feed my son or push his pram because “I get to see him enough at home, it’s their turn”, getting jealous when they find out my family see baby.
All these are boundaries me and my fiancé made, which have been broken over and over. Continuously telling them not to do those things and they do them again and again. Finally over the weekend we had enough after MIL got Great grand parents a Father’s Day card and signed our sons name without asking us. my fiancé cut off his family as this really upset him, to which the backlash was immense. His brother telling him to “jump off a bridge” and his mum in tears (boohoo) and his dad saying things like “you have went south for whatever reason” “this isn’t you bring our real son back” “we’ve only ever wanted the best for you”. Leaving threatening voicemails to fiancé that they will “sort him out”
They are implying that their son has changed and it’s because of me controlling him and taking him from his parents. Which is not true. I encouraged contact with them, I’m the reason they got to see their grandson and son so much because I always suggested visiting them even when I was unhappy with the disrespect and I’m really hurt by the things that have been said about me.
They are not accepting responsibility at all, not acknowledging that this happened because of them and just acting completely shocked that they have been told their behaviour is no longer being tolerated. When they broke boundaries before and were told off for it they said they understood, but continued to do it again after a week or two. I am honestly not understanding how they can’t see they are the problem and the sole cause of this, they have made us out to be the bad ones.
(A bit of back story here)
Growing up my dad allowed my grandparents to bully my mum, aswell as him abusing her they all abused her physically/mentally. Degraded her, took control of finances and their house. Blamed her for everything, The worst that you could imagine happened. He was 10 years older when they met she was 15. She had 7 children with him, was married 25 years and 5 years ago they divorced. She is so happy now, with a new partner and she is so different. However my dad, is still controlled by my grandparents who have taken control of his bank accounts and now live in his house.
As you can imagine I have very strict rules and expectations on how I want my life to be and how I want to be treated. I will not tolerate the slightest bit of disrespect. I have just started healing from a traumatic birth and post partum depression and anxiety because of his family.
I really do love his family, I’m finding it hard to come to terms with no contact and I don’t want my fiancé to not have his family in his life.
Are we being unreasonable? Is there anything I can do? Do I just leave things be and let fiancé and his parents work it out in their own time? Will they ever change or understand they are in the wrong and can’t control him?
I’m at a loss on what to do 😣