Is anyone up ?

[AssertiveGertrude]

I’m in a dilemma (don’t really know if it’s a dilemma)

i am in charge of organising an event at work and I have found out this evening my co worker had complained to management about me rather than come to me (despite offering no assistance with the event)
she isn’t happy about one thing about It. Management have fully supported me and told her so as I have put a lot of effort in

I was going to make a presentation and have now cut back and handing over this to junior colleagues to do as I feel so hurt and it’s spiteful

or call in sick ?

if I do go ahead I have to sit beside her (she buys me things and is very sweet but two faced) and I can’t be false all day - aghhhh

Go. You must not call in sick! You’ve organised the event and have your managers backing so whatever she has complained about, the management have chosen to support you.

I never let anyone down but I can’t face this person to be honest

I will defer a few jobs to other colleagues I think on the day

She’s complained about something that’s really nice (so she’s made herself look ridiculous)

Of course you do the presentation. Why wouldn't you? And you definitely don't phone in sick.
You said management have fully supported you, so what's the problem?
and what do you mean, she buys you stuff? Are you in school? Is there a tuck shop?
Are you new to the job or role? Is this the first time you've been given an event to organise?
Did you ask her outright what she complained about? And surely if you're arranging the event, you can arrange the seating and sit next to who you want?

You have the strength to do this and will feel so much better afterwards. Fast forward your thoughts to the end of it and imagine how good you’ll feel. Dealing with her can be put off for another day.

Well she sounds like she’s probably jealous of your good ideas and wants to throw a spanner. Let her be ridiculous and smile graciously. If you have to sit next to her just whisper in her ear that you’re so glad it’s going well and that management have supported you…with a tinkly laugh.
I have a colleague who is insanely jealous of everyone, bitches behind backs but is always buying gifts and token mementos… she’s desperately insecure and it’s so obvious. When I’m not revolted by her, I feel sorry for her.

She’s in the office beside me everyday - it’s just the two of us. It’s actually a very professional job but she’s not in a profession (so I think it’s a bit of bitterness to be honest)

I will go but not do what I originally planned as the appreciation won’t be there. The event is for someone else at work. I can’t really say anything to her as she will know I found out about the complaint. If that makes sense

I will just not interact much with her over the next few days

She’s wouldn’t be the brightest spark in the world and I don’t want to be horrible, she asked me once about balloons and that if you blow them up they stay up

I said the won’t unless you blow them up with helium and she argued all day - so I just said ok you are correct 😂

I'm confused. Who's not going to appreciate it? Your managers have said you're doing a great job. They've dismissed the complaint out of hand.
So you're going to cut back on all your hard work on the useless word of someone whose intelligence and professionalism you don't rate anyway? Why? I don't get it.

I'm struggling to understand your dilemma too.

She complained, it wasn't upheld and you have management backing.

Why are cutting back? She's 100% the problem, not you.

Go in and blow them away with your presentation. Ignore the 2 faced b**ch.

Thank you - what I’m doing is something for people at her level (I don’t want to our myself) as a favour I suppose to management (think presentation of appreciation) and she’s literally mocking what I am doing

so my dilemma is do I pull back and not give as much to it because the like of her is so spiteful about it

she’s pretending to my face I’m the nicest person she ever met

I don’t rate her no - I do rate the people who I’m doing this for though

but I am going to make it clear (I’ve re wrote it just now) that these three people have integrity and kindness but not generalised about the whole team of them if that makes sense

Give it 100% and do an amazing job. Go to town on it and make it brilliant. Don’t shy away because of her comments. Go for it.

You know what that’s what I needed to hear - my stomach is sick because of her

I am very true and honest about things and couldn’t conduct myself like these people

Don’t make any comments or remarks or change who you are, pretend you never heard it.

Let her words inspire you to shine even more.

she sounds like a total idiot. Make whatever it is brilliant, and smile all day long.

I think you understandably feel upset right now because it's horrible when someone goes behind your back to complain about you. If you look back in a couple of years time though, I bet you'll wish you'd got on with what you wanted to do rather than step away because of her. Let her get on with digging herself a hole with management and you just keep your focus be where it needs to be - on your nice event. Don't even bother with an "I'll show her" attitude, it literally isn't worth wasting any of your thoughts on! Good luck!

She’s lying to my face telling me I’m sweet and amazing yet but boss told me she had been in putting me down

it’s hard to face really after so much work (I’m literally there decades)

All the best op

You know she's an idiot and management know it too.

She isn't worth your time or attention.

You do you, you have been successfully for years. You are only giving her what she wants and what management also refused to give her, if you step back.