Racial discrimination on my way home, now scared to go out - please help.

[ForThisPost1]

NC because it is quite private and painful to write down.

I am a single woman from East Asia living in London. A homeless man, in his 60-70s, near where I live and work. When I walk passed him, he usually mutters something like "fucking XXXX(my ethnicity)", and I usually see them once or twice a month. This does not bother me much as I pity him and don't see him often anyway. However, on Friday evening, around half ten, I walked past him on my way home, and it was quiet, and only two of us were nearby. Maybe because no one was around, he just shouted, "You 'my ethnicity' cxxt", "so fxxking uneducated".

Two days have passed, and I am still in shock and scared of walking the same route, the only route home. I talked to my friends, which helped a lot, but this feeling is constant as it happened around where I live. I revisited the street corner on Saturday to get used to facing the same environment again, but I cannot lie to myself, I am scared of seeing him, and I don't know what to do.

I am writing this down for support and advice on handling this situation.

Thank you all very much.

I know it's probably the last thing you feel like doing but you could record your next interaction if there is one. I don't mean shoving your phone into his face, but simply have your phone on record when you walk by. I understand that you would feel so demeaned by that type of abuse that your own esteem is broken down and you question your validity, but you have to think of it as valuing and prioritising yourself and also protecting others that he would deem an easy target.

I would definitely contact them OP, I’m guessing Canary Wharf don’t want people like that hanging round. Even though they will have a materialistic reason for doing it (they want to keep the estate ‘desirable’ and expensive) at least they will still likely tackle it.

Yes email them.

But I wouldn't say anything to him in case it escalates. Just totally ignore him.

They won't do anything. They don't get involved if you've been burgled or raped.

Definitely report it to the police OP.

Why bother?
They'll do absolutely fuck all.

The Met recently charged a woman with 'wasting police time' because she was reporting her abusive ex partner.
The bastard murdered her a few days later.

So, I don't see them getting off their collective arses for the OP, either.

Ameanstreakamilewide
I'm only going on my own experience of when a friend of mine experienced something similar about a year ago. She reported it to the police and they did take it seriously. The bloke in question was given a verbal warning and basically told that if he did it again he would be arrested.

OP, I’d record him subtly if possible to give evidence to the police. If you see him in the distance get your phone out and start pressing record. I wouldn’t waste my breath on him.

It’s extremely unpleasant and it’s quite common. A friend of mine (male) who is East Asian was called racist abuse for declining to give money to someone on the train.

This is why it annoys me when some people, usually non-POC living in suburbs act holier than thou if you mention any kind of discomfort around homeless people who beg/sit on the street which you tend to find more in areas like London/Manchester etc . The truth is they can be very aggressive and racist! Women POC seem to be particularly targeted.

I had an alcoholic try to bully, threaten and berate me in a queue once because he tried to skip me but tbh that day I wasn’t having it and put him in his place. He wasn’t ouvertly racist but at one point he said something that was like coded racism.

Don’t hate yourself for not directly confronting him - you’re just going about your day and trying to keep safe, and not everyone is confrontational which is perfectly understandable.

Definitely report this to CW estate management. They are very particular about who enters CW given it's a private estate and will likely be more proactive than the police. There's specific rules about only being permitted to enter when you have genuine business to be on the estate

I've seen several groups of school kids get walked off the estate by estate security before.

Why couldn’t you report it when you call 101? I’m fairly sure you should be able to report it via phone? If not, consider getting yourself to a nearby police station and reporting it in person.

https://www.met.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/hco/hate-crime/how-to-report-hate-crime/

Sorry meant to add it says on the page :

“Report by phone

Call 101

Our national, non-emergency telephone number is staffed 24/7. Ask to speak to your Community Safety Unit.

You can report a hate crime directly to them or simply ask them for support or advice” nothing about having to report it online.

@ForThisPost1 and @Mercy1968 It is awful that you have both explained such racist behaviour.

Op - please report. And I really wouldn't engage with the man.

@SoccerStars
Thank you very much for the advice and sharing the information. It really is affecting my mind massively atm. I am looking around all the time while walking, consistently reevaluating my surroundings, what if he just appeared. Do other people also hate me? Shall I take the bus instead of walking pass the building etc. It is so exhausting.

re:homeless. The irony is that I volunteer for Crisis during Christmas, often give food and changes to the homeless especially if they are old...

I totally understand the hyper vigilance. This is why it might be good to report him although you shouldn’t have to be in this situation to begin with. Sadly yes some people share his views, but definitely not everyone! Hopefully most people are not this despicable.

It is ironic, but sadly a bigot like that has probably had POC give money to him and he still has these views. Indeed he probably even resents POC being in the position to offer help.
Personally I normally don’t give money to the homeless directly but yes I also give to homeless charities and while at uni I used to volunteer at a homeless drop in shelter where we served hot drinks, snacks and some food and the service users were all lovely btw! Many had severe drug and alcohol issues often linked to trauma. I also vote for parties which have policies that are better for homeless people. All that said I still refuse to be a scapegoat for someone who has been dealt a bad hand in life and/or made bad decisions.

good luck - I hope you manage to report this and you never see him again. And for now take some time to engage in self-care, a nice bath, nutritious food, a long walk or whatever helps to calm you down.

Firstly, try really hard not to take it so personally. He doesn’t know you. He is just spewing hate randomly. I have had a man spit on me and my DD on the bus for no reason. It was a horrible feeling and at first I really wondered why he targeted me. But I reported to the police and they did follow it up and I found out he had mental health issues and regularly did it to lots people, ie not just me! I would DEFINITELY report it to the police as they have to take hate crime seriously, especially the Met police in London. Am so sorry he is doing this to you though, and that it is affecting your walk home. And I wouldn’t engage with him, let the police handle it.

I am looking around all the time while walking, consistently reevaluating my surroundings, what if he just appeared. Do other people also hate me? Shall I take the bus instead of walking pass the building etc. It is so exhausting.

No one else hates you, don’t take it personally, he obviously has issues. Not the same but years ago when I was working in London a man kept harassing me, every day I would see him, every day I would dread seeing him. Every day he would see me and start on at me. In the end I changed my times of work and left earlier and I never saw him again. I would take the bus if that is an option. You shouldn’t have to but even doing so for a couple of months might be enough to break the cycle.

Also report him to everyone and anyone who maybe able to help. Good luck.