Are UK parents obsessed with getting their kids to bed early?

[RosieLeaLovesTea]

Am I the only one that thinks UK parents are obsessed with getting their kids to bed early? I see posts of 7pm/7.30pm, some as early as 6pm.

I work full time and don’t get home until 6.30pm. We don’t eat until 7pm. So generally 9pm is bedtime. Plus it means that if we do go out at weekends our kids are used to going to bed a bit later.

I think people just do what works best for their families and their children to be honest, that doesn't look the same for everyone.

It’s defiantly cultural, the children are more part of the family in some cultures than others. for example excluding children from weddings is unheard of most cultures around the world, those same cultures probably have relaxed bedtimes.

I don't understand why some people are so obsessed with how other people live their lives, and find fault because it's not how they do it. My daughter generally gets to bed by 7.30-8, sleeps until 7. She's 5. She's never napped, so from an early age bedtime was 6 because she was absolutely exhausted. As she's got older it's been pushed back, but she does need that 11 hours sleep as she's full of energy during the day. On the weekend or school holidays I'll stretch to 9ish, depending on what we're doing.

I'm a single Mum. She eats hot lunches, I work during the day. On a week day she'll generally have a snack tea while I'm preparing my food, or doing household jobs. It's nothing to do with not wanting your child around, which is pretty insulting.

I agree, DS wasn't excluded from evening events at family and friends' houses. There would always be somewhere he could sleep if he got tired and he'd be given a pillow and blanket. He didn't get overtired as he would just sleep. On Christmas eve when he was two he napped for a couple of hours, came to midnight Mass, opened presents, then slept until 9am Christmas day.

Oh don’t start implying that children with earlier bedtimes are less part of the family ffs

You can’t understand people being different to you?

The more I’ve read (and experience) the more I see that a lot of the little ones who get up early have probably been trained that way as the parents have to get to work early and get the kids to nursery, breakfast club etc. Nothing wrong with that. Our routine was more flexible as I started work a bit later. I also hate early mornings! My step mother always thought I was odd for not bundling them off to bed early. I don’t think that she understands that I actually enjoy their company or that they would have created nonsense (they shared a room) because they weren’t tired yet.

That's your routine and that works for you, that's fine. I wouldn't say we are obsessed with getting our kids to bed. My son wakes between 5 and 6 regardless of what time he goes to bed, always has. So he goes to bed at half 7 usually asleep by 8 after he has chatted to himself for a bit, he is 2 and still has a nap. If he goes to bed later he's just grouchy the next day. He stayed up till 10 pm for a family wedding and still woke at 6am but was so grumpy all day. Think alot of kids are naturally early risers so we just do what suits them to ensure they get enough sleep. As long as they are getting enough sleep it doesn't matter what time they go to bed.

“I actually enjoy their company”
🙄

I know. Some people just can't help themselves.

I want to add to each and every one of these ridiculous comments:

“I guess I just enjoy my kids’ company but only in the evening”

because, presumably if parents who want to put their kids to bed early do so because they don’t enjoy their kids’ company, surely, then parents who want as little quality time in a morning as possible also don’t enjoy their kids’ company.

I wonder how much the children enjoy the company of their smug parents

Meh, I stuck mine in bed at 3.30 after giving them some dry bread and water so I can drink vodka and watch films that are unsuitable for children all night

This is what makes me laugh too.

Or if it's selfish to 'shove' them to bed at 7, then it's also selfish to 'force' them to stay awake until 9 to enjoy their company.

😂

To those who are saying as well that it is a cultural thing, and that this cultural thing is other cultures wishing to spend time with their children (eye roll). Are these the same cultures that take siestas. Just a thought. Because I don't know about you , and I know we're having this conversation at the height of summer, but most kids are unlikely to want to eat rheir evening meal at 7-8ish, and go to be at 9, if they haven't slept since 6.30, and it's been dark since 4pm.

Thanks all for your views and contributions. I can see it’s encouraged some lively debate.

what works for each of you for your family is great. That’s my point.

I don’t want to feel a failure that I have not been able to get my DS in bed at 7.30pm.

my DD used to sleep 8pm- 8am with not very much night time waking at all. But My DS totally different child and still awake at 10pm. He wakes naturally between 7.30am-8am.

also I work full time and so if they went to bed at 7pm I would never see them. But I appreciate that if you have had care of the DCs all day, you are ready for them to go to bed at 7.30pm etc.

Well I hope the thread has at least reassured you that there isn’t an “obsession” with earlier bedtime among many parents in the U.K.

But I appreciate that if you have had care of the DCs all day, you are ready for them to go to bed at 7.30pm etc.

No they were ready and I suspect most children are.

Trying to say we don't like our children to justify keeping yours up because you don't have time to see them is cognitive dissonance at its finest.

Who cares? I like our DDs in bed by 7/7.15, as DD1 (nearly 5) wakes any time between 5 and 6 regardless of when she goes to bed, and DD2 is only 2, and needs 12 hours sleep as she no longer naps. My husband and I also really like evenings to ourselves. It works for us.
My friend, on the other hand, often puts her 5 year old DS to bed at 8.30, as it suits him. Do I care that our schedules are different? No. Do what suits you and your family!

At this time of year I genuinely have no idea how anyone gets their DC to sleep by 7pm or before! Blackout blinds or no blackout blinds it’s just so light!

Mine never had a bedtime before 8. Like you, we both worked and wanted to spend time in the evening.
Mind you, some kids naturally are asleep by 7. Whatever works I guess!

No they were ready and I suspect most children are.
If they've been awake since 6am and need 11 hours sleep then they probably are. If they are in a regular 9pm to 7am routine then they probably won't be tired yet.

I get what the OP is saying, there does tend to be judgement of parents whose children are up later than the norm. If your children are playing outside at other children's bedtime, even if they aren't making excessive noise, then it's frowned upon in my experience. Other parents assume, as some have on this thread, that your child isn't getting enough sleep, when they have lower than average sleep needs or a later wake up time.

But kids who stay up late aren’t outside playing, they’re inside with their parents playing charades, doing needle point pictures of a family portrait or creating their own versions of bohemian rhapsody; only with more harmonies.

Yet this thread is filled with people saying earlier bedtimes are selfish, 'shoving' them to bed for adult time, not spending any time with them etc.

Seems like it is those who do later bedtimes are the ones who are judging.