Advice - Playdate

[ThankYouMama]

👋

I hope everyone is ok 🙂

Just in need of some advice, I want to do the right thing.

I made a new friend a couple of around 2 and a half months ago, she is lovely, we've got so much in common and it feels like I've known her for years.

I met her when I was out alone (without the children) she is fairly new to the area, we exchanged numbers and we have met up a few times.

She has a daughter the same age as my child, yesterday we had a play date together, my son and her daughter got on very well, I spoke to her today and she told me that her daughter is so happy to have gained a new friend (she is a tom-boy and prefers boys clothing and boys toys etc)

This evening, I told my son that we are going to meet up with them on the weekend, so during the week it would be helpful if he could suggest some places to go.

He said that he doesn't want to meet up with her again, or be her friend because "she's a girl". I told him not to be horrible and that he always must be kind, and that he enjoyed yesterdays day out. His answer to that was "because you said I have to be kind, but I don't want to play or see her again, I would if she was a boy but she's not"

I really don't know what to do in this situation, I've got two options

1. Tell mum that we aren't going to be available i.e something has come up (coward option)

1. Still go to to the play date, and warn my son before hand to be kind.

Has anyone else experienced this with their 7 year old little boy before? there has been a few times before when he has refused to engage with girls, I genuinely thought it was a "boy thing"

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Anyone?

how old are all the kids? your son is 7 and your daughter is ???

if the girls are 2 or more years younger, it could be that your son doesn't like playing with them because of the age gap, but can't articulate that well.

definitely do the playdate but you could bribe your son to behave or give him something else to do (new book / other game) so the girls can play without him.

I have a 7yo boy and if it was him, I'd be having a firm word about the importance of not judging a book by its cover/someone by a thing about them that they can't control. I'd be firm that if there's no good reason for him not to like her )@(ie her being unkind or hurtful) I'd expect him at least to make an effort a few times so that she and her family feel welcome in a new place. I'd nip it in the bud as soon as I could, honestly. Such an awkward situation to be in, sorry OP.

My son is 7 and the little girl is also 7.

Oo I have a ds 7, i would not be happy. I would explain there's lots of reasons to not like someone but being a boy/girl or looks is not one of them. Tell him to grow up he's not a toddler and needs to accept people for them and he had fun so you're meeting again.

I am going to have a word with him, I'm not happy with what he has said. The only reason he doesn't want to see her again is because she is a girl, which isn't nice.

Yes it's a very awkward position for me, I have always tried to teach him the importance of being kind.

Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it. 🙂

Wow op, I wouldn't tolerate that whatsoever from my child. That's actually shocking. If he didn't like her because she was unkind/bossy/whatever that's one thing. But he enjoyed her company, just doesn't like her cos she's a girl?! I'd come down on him like an absolute tonne of bricks.

Yes, I'm very disappointed in him, she is a lovely little girl so there's no reason for him not to like her, and the fact that she is happy to have made a new friend and is looking forward to seeing him again is very upsetting.

I am going to have a word with him tomorrow.