Thread for those finding fathers day hard

[Stickybackplasticbear]

Anyone else finding today a bit hard?

I'm childfree by choice and have a partner of nearly 20 years. But appreciate there will be many who would like to be celebrating with their partner. I know there's many who have lost their dad or have difficult relationship.

Personally it's hard for me because although I speak to my dad we aren't close, him and my mum aren't happy and we had a huge falling out at the start of the year which resulted in us having to stay in temp accommodation.

It's hard because I still have my lovely grandad but sadly one of his children died a few years ago so I know he struggles on father's day as he doesn't have all his children. Also he was widowed a tear and a bit ago so I think family days are hard for him and us all.

My sister is in an abusive relationship and in the process of seperating from her husband. But she's still facilitating fathers day for her kids. So that's hard on her and I'm supporting her with that. It's been a long journey for us both and while she is my priority I'm burnt out with it.

I don't want this to be work is me, things could be way worse. Just wanted to post to share it's nota ll massive family Sunday lunches and good vibes. Share of you're finding it hard too.

Also sorry if anyone already did a thread like this.

I would like to join you💙
Just as I found this thread 'dance with my father again' started playing on the radio and has made me feel a little teary.

My darling father died on Father’s Day, twenty years ago this year. Still miss him.

4th fathers day without my dad. I hate this day so much, you can’t escape it 😞 it seems to get harder not easier

First Father's Day without dad. He died in February. Feeling quite teary and sad. Sorry for all those missing dads.

My dad died more years ago than those I knew him, but I still miss him. In some ways, more than I used to.

So sorry for all those missing their dad's.

I know as well it can be hard for mums and partners who often have to facilitate father's day.

I feel like I do have my dad and many don't so I should try harder or whatever with him. But really he's not particularly nice.

3rd without my dad, I'm trying to ignore it's fathers day. My dd was disowned by her father so we are having a fun day ignoring all the messages we see. It's hard though.

Thanks for starting this thread.

My vile, abusive, nasty piece of work father died some years ago. For some reason, my half sister always posts on social media something along the lines of him being in heaven (ha!) and how much she misses him. I'd like to know where she got such a strong prescription for rose tinted glasses.

She does the same on his birthday and it's always triggering as fuck. I didn't even realise it was fathers day until I saw her post, otherwise I would have just avoided SM, which I'll be doing for the rest of the day.

1st Father's Day without my dad who died in March. I'm doing ok but I'm keeping away from FB and not letting myself think about him too much today

Sorry to all of those who find today hard.

I don’t really see or speak to my dad. We’ve never been close and he now lives abroad. But we’ve never officially ‘cut ties’ so still have occasional, brief contact - usually just ‘happy birthday/Christmas.

Some years it bothers me more than others. I was very fortunate to have an amazing grandfather (no longer with us) and a great stepdad, but it still hurts that my dad never really wanted me, even now in my 30s.

This is my 10th Father’s Day without mine (he’s registered as a missing person)

I don’t know whether to feel sad or bitter or angry and it’s really hard. Have a big empty space.

trying to not ruin the day as we are celebrating Father’s Day with the kids/other half which is lovely and I’m so grateful my kids have a brilliant dad.

but it gets harder every year :(

My partner has a similar relationship with his dad he lives in the uk but a diff country 300+ miles away. I think it's normal to feel it worse some times more than others.

I'm glad you had a lovely grandad and step dad. I sometimes think it's worse when you haven't officially cut ties as there's all these expectations of what a normal family should be like.

@Moroccanqueen that must be so hard not having that closure.

@yellowsmileyface yeah I think social media can really bring out the worst in people in terms of denial and rose tinted view on the past. If it helps it's probably for show and she maybe has a more realistic view in reality. Or is coping by telling herself those things about him being great.

Father's day has never bothered me too much until this year and I've been dreading it all week.
I haven't spoken to my dad in about 6 years, my DS hasn't seen his dad for 3 years. I used to celebrate with my grandad but he passed away 2 years ago. So not being able to acknowledge it all really hurts this year especially as no-one else I know is in the same position. I knew I wouldn't be able to face all the posts on Facebook/Instagram so I've come off for a couple of days which is helping.

This will be my dads last Father's Day, I'm sitting with him now, watching him sleep.

I'm sorry for those missing their dads today
A very close friend of mine lost her dad a fews ago. I'll be with her this evening when my little one is in bed and will do whatever she needs.
I'm not particularly close to my own dad, although he dotes on my son. He works every year so don't get to spend it with him.
DS dad is not in his life, this is his second without him. He doesn't know any different but for me, I feel he's missing out. That reminds me that it's my fault, my stupid choices.

I'm very close to my grandad. His own children never, ever make a fuss of him on this day. He's lucky to get a text message.

Also first Father’s Day without my dear dad who passed away October i miss him so much

I'm so sorry sending lots of love. It's so hard when you know somone will pass away soon.

Everyone looking after yourself by staying off social media I think is sensible. It's hard when people are no longer with you but I try to think of the times we had together and the impact they had on me.