Self esteem

[Notreallygreat]

On paper I have it all - I have a loving partner, two wonderful children, nice house, a senior job, I’m slim and pretty attractive.

But I have zero self-esteem. I think nothing positive about myself beyond being able to tick all the boxes I mention above. I feel like a fraud who doesn’t deserve any of this. Anyone who can see beyond this superficial level of being “successful” can see I’m a mess. Nearly every day I cry about this.

Where do I even start changing this? How do I build my self-esteem from rock bottom?

www.psychologies.co.uk/10-ways-to-overcome-low-self-esteem/

Her book -

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Self-Esteem-Mindfulness-Deborah-Ward/dp/1847093450/ref=asapbcc_nodl?ie=UTF8&dplnkId=d936a8e3-caf0-4d38-83c7-366d01f7b84a

If you are so sad that you are moved to tears every day you might have depression - which is often linked to low self esteem. Sorry you are going through this. It would be worth talking to your GP about these feelings.

Agree it could be a hormonal imbalance of sort or mental health struggles. You have recognised it as an issue which is a good start, and you know what you have to be thankful for. I would try and get some CBT x

Thanks - I have tried CBT before and not found it very helpful - it almost feels like trying to convince myself of something you know isn’t true, like the world is flat or something.

I’ve taken ant-depressants before which have helped with mood but I don’t think fundamentally changed anything about how I felt about myself.

I’ll have a look at those links, thank you.

I'm on anti depressants they help. I feel my low self esteem comes from an emotionally neglectful childhood and people tended to pick up on that so made it worse 🙃 I have learnt to trust myself more though and think fuck them.

I have found mine stems from childhood too.. what did you do to learn to trust yourself more and think fuck them? I'd love to know xx

Because I'm in my 30s and I can't spend the rest of my life doing things I don't want to do due to low self esteem. I married someone I didn't want to due to thinking no one else would want me. My god that was a monumental fuck up.

Have some counselling from someone who specialises in this area. I don't mean positive psychology or quick tips towards self esteem. I'm talking about working with someone to uncover what is going on under the surface or from your past that is affecting you in this way.

BACP, Counselling Directory or Psychology Today all have lists of therapists. Narrow it down to three or four and speak to them all on the phone before arranging an in person session to find out how they work and whether you gel together. This can transform things for you.

Low self esteem often comes from negative core beliefs, formed in childhood.

Have a look at this article;

https://www.betterrelationships.org.au/well-being/core-beliefs-self-acceptance/

And this video;

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