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Original poster

Has anyone been ghosted after drunk texting?

42 replies

Bananas819 · 17/06/2023 19:55

I’ve been very casually hooking up with this guy for a few weeks. Either one of us or both of us is usually drunk. It’s not what I want at all but I can’t seem to stop myself giving into him when he gives me (an extremely limited amount of) attention. And I think I’ve become emotionally attached too because of all the intimacy.

Well, last night I was the one who was fairly drunk and I texted him a bit. And I also called him. He said that he was out with friends and basically made it clear to me he didn’t want to see me (everything has pretty much been on his terms because the last time I saw him it was him coming over to mine when he was drunk after he suggested it and I was in my PJs - stupid mistake). He replied a bit last night but then just stopped.

I messaged him today saying sorry for being drunk and basically sending him a few messages but again he’s ignored that. I really do feel like I pissed him off last night and a ghost is coming…(probably was inevitable eventually but it’s still not a nice feeling).

I know deep down that this is the right / best thing to happen as I need to move on and I know the feelings will pass. But right now it feels so shit. I shouldn’t care but I do.

Has anyone else been ghosted after drunk texting? I don’t even do it to be annoying, it’s just because I have way more confident when I am drunk! 🥺

OP posts:
BillyNoM8s · 17/06/2023 23:43

You think you have control but you don't. You're the one who's been stewing about it all day. He's just throwing you a crumb so he can get his end away later if he fancies it.

If you let him use you, he will. You've said you've caught feelings. He clearly hasn't. You're on a way street to hurting yourself.

RedHelenB · 18/06/2023 05:16

Pixiesfan · 17/06/2023 20:04

You're better off without him OP. He's done you a favour in the long run.

I think he's better off without the OP, constantly badgering him on a night out when asked not to and seemingly getting drunk all the time.

Freefall212 · 18/06/2023 05:20

You both sound like a good fit for each other at this point. You seem equally immature with no respect in any direction really, both just wanting to get their own needs met.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Dating General relationships
Fiddlefall · 18/06/2023 05:22

Bananas819 · 17/06/2023 20:25

@potsandpots79 yes. He’s shown me absolutely no respect whatsoever. And it hurts right now

Tbf isn't harrassing someone through text and repeated call spam disrespectful? I did more than my fair share of drunken harrassment when I was younger, but it's very disrespectful basically.

Oaktree1233 · 18/06/2023 06:06

The time you spend with him or waiting for him is time that you are not emotionally available for a decent guy. You have to move on and ignore/block him to get on with a new life. I’m sure that you deserve better.

GoodChat · 18/06/2023 06:47

You're his booty call. He's not yours. The ball isn't in your court. Just let it go for your own sake. You're the only person getting hurt here.

standardduck · 18/06/2023 06:54

It's completely fine to have a casual hook up relationship if it works for you.

But you said you are emotionally attached and from your updates it is clear you like him more than he likes you (sorry to be harsh). I think this will end up with you being hurt, I would end it and move on.

ChimChimeny · 18/06/2023 06:54

ComtesseDeSpair · 17/06/2023 20:28

I have blocked and deleted men who continued to pester me with messages when I’d already said I was busy / wasn’t available, yes. Which seems like what’s happened here.

Move on, work on your boundaries and why you’re so hung up on a man you don’t really want in a hook up situation you don’t really want to be in and so desperate for his attention. Stop trying to date for a bit, concentrate on yourself and perhaps making (or focusing on the ones you already have) some nice platonic friends who can offer care and support and give your head a wobble over you picking unsuitable men.

This is such good.advice,.don't you think you deserve to be more than some drunk bloke's booty call? If not, why not?

Block him so you aren't tempted.next time he calls.you for a hook up and move on

Original poster
Bananas819 · 18/06/2023 16:05

Wow some people are so harsh !

I haven’t replied.

OP posts:
seennothinglikeit · 19/06/2023 05:51

Surely a FWB set up means your needs are being met. However he turns up drunk and you sit with him while he smokes, can't see the fun there.
I agree with working in boundaries and then looking for a more sober man to meet up when you are both free, without the blocking drama and over analysing.

snitzelvoncrumb · 19/06/2023 06:13

I would just ignore the message.

LynetteScavo · 19/06/2023 06:16

I don't think posters have been harsh - this is a really unhealthy relationship.
You've not texted back so you can hurt him back like he hurt you when he didn't text.

You need to move on, unless you want more anguish and uncertainty. If you do continue to be his booty call with him, don't say you weren't warned!

AngelAurora · 19/06/2023 06:24

Bananas819 · 17/06/2023 20:05

Thanks @Pixiesfan
I just hate the idea that he took the control and I said the last word. I wish it had been me, if you get what I mean?
I am wondering whether it’s a good idea for me to block him

Have a bit more respect for yourself than text people when your drunk, seriously I'm embarrassed for you.

thisthenthat · 19/06/2023 06:54

Do you feel better @AngelAurora? Got your fix for the day?

OP -

thisthenthat · 19/06/2023 06:57

OP - this kind of 'relationship' will never make you happy and will prevent you meeting someone you can have a more meaningful relationship with. It really is a lose/lose situation. Cut him off and focus on you.

AmilyChestnut · 19/06/2023 07:42

Bananas819 · 17/06/2023 20:13

Has this ever happened to anyone else? Just feel so sad now

Bananas819, I repeatedly dated men like this 😭 it's awful, and makes you feel so worthless. But you are worth more, I promise you.

Block him and move on, in a week you'll wonder what you were ever thinking!

Good luck. I believe in you.

KinooOrKinog · 29/07/2023 10:36

Bananas819 · 18/06/2023 16:05

Wow some people are so harsh !

I haven’t replied.

Yes, there are some very virtuous people on MN aren't there! Anyone would think they'd never made a bad decision in their lives!

I would say bin him, but it's not my situation so do what you feel. In my experience, these things usually die a slow and lingering death and you'll laugh about it later (or cringe) lol

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