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Original poster

Organising an 8th birthday party…

18 replies

Userno464836383737363744 · 17/06/2023 19:34

This may seem a silly post but I’ve not got much experience with organising kids birthdays. My eldest never had parties with his friends as he wasn’t interested - he is autistic.

dd on other hand.… we did a whole class party last year as most of her friends had done the same and it was easier just to invite everyone to avoid upset. But the party got expensive and was a bit manic

this year we want to take her to the trampoline park. You can book a package with 8 kids so 7 to invite. Thinking of inviting all girls because she gets on well with most of the girls in her class and doesn’t want to upset anyone so it’s been a long day trying to decide who. The first 3 were easy - her best friend and 2 who invited her to parties this year!

there is 14 girls in her class. Does a divide of 7 being invited, 7 not sound fair? I am handing out invites to parents rather than at school.

I would hate to offend someone. She wanted to avoid one girl but feels she needs to invite this girls close friend too to avoid upset even though dd isn’t as close. What do I do there?

to add, I am autistic myself and kids parties and social lives are too complex for me 😂

i would just hate anyone to feel excluded as I was always excluded from things as a kid!

OP posts:
Rollonannualeave · 17/06/2023 19:38

Is there a way you can invite the 14 girls? It might get a bit divisive otherwise especially as they are still quite young. A couple probably won't make it anyway.

TonysGaff · 17/06/2023 19:41

Only inviting half the girls is fine. Leaving out 2 or 3 would be more of an issue. I think it's more problematic when the majority of the girls or class have been invited and a handful left out, it can feel a bit exclusionary.

Have a great time!

Original poster
Userno464836383737363744 · 17/06/2023 19:42

Rollonannualeave · 17/06/2023 19:38

Is there a way you can invite the 14 girls? It might get a bit divisive otherwise especially as they are still quite young. A couple probably won't make it anyway.

Sadly it may be unaffordable. The package is for 8 kids. Any kids after that is £20 PP!

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cadetmumstress · 17/06/2023 19:50

I think half the girls in the class is fine. Children need to learn that they don't always get to go to everything and that's ok. As long as you're not leaving out just one or two children, I can't see that there's a problem.

Mamoun · 17/06/2023 19:51

If course invite 7, whichever she likes, I would only make sure you return invitations to girls who may have invited her to their own party.

jays · 17/06/2023 19:52

It’s fine to invite half the girls, as said up thread it would be hurtful if two or three were left out but half is fine. It’s lovely of you to care and consider their feelings.

SirSamVimesCityWatch · 17/06/2023 19:57

Half is fine. By 8 the parties definitely start getting smaller and most are these activity type ones which are expensive; people generally understand that you aren't going to be paying for 20-30 kids to go trampolining / laser tag / ninja warrior etc etc. The only time you need to be careful is if you are leaving only one or two kids out of an invite as that can be hurtful.

Original poster
Userno464836383737363744 · 17/06/2023 19:58

Mamoun · 17/06/2023 19:51

If course invite 7, whichever she likes, I would only make sure you return invitations to girls who may have invited her to their own party.

Ty, she’s the youngest in her year so that makes it a little easier but She’s only been invited to two herself this year so they will be invited as well as her closest friend who is a little older than her and I would imagine invites dd to hers! I know some don’t have parties (we weren’t going to bother this year at first!). She’s worried about inviting a friend but not being able to invite the friends friend!

OP posts:
Original poster
Userno464836383737363744 · 17/06/2023 20:02

Thanks all. It’s 14 inc dd in the class so it will be 7 invited, dd and 6 not invited. Or it may be 6 invited as I likely will invite a sibling of her closest friend as they spend a lot of time together anyway! I just hope most or all can make it as I cannot pay for any less than 8, as that was the package, you can pay for more but not less!

I would love to do a big party again but no one seems to be doing that anymore and I can’t even begin to explain now stressful I found the whole thing last year 😂

OP posts:
Diddykong · 17/06/2023 20:03

Weve just done an 8th party. We chose to invite 4 only and we went to the trampoline park but not as a party, we just booked 5 spots and took them to burger King afterwards.

Original poster
Userno464836383737363744 · 17/06/2023 20:13

Diddykong · 17/06/2023 20:03

Weve just done an 8th party. We chose to invite 4 only and we went to the trampoline park but not as a party, we just booked 5 spots and took them to burger King afterwards.

Thanks. I could have done this but thought it would be easier eating there!

thats another thing, I was going to ask do parents mind dropping their kids off about - 10 minute drive away? We live in the middle of nowhere, most people around here drive!

I could potentially take 3 but no more. 🫣

OP posts:
Silverribbons · 17/06/2023 21:07

Agree that inviting approx 7 and leaving 6/7 out is absolutely fine. I also think it's absolutely fine to expect parents to drive around 10 mins.
Make sure you put an RSVP date on the invite and don't be scared to chase up parents if they haven't replied by the date. Hope it goes well.

MathsNervous · 17/06/2023 21:11

DS turning 8 this year and it will only be 6 he can invite from his class as that's all we can afford ( he has three siblings who will be at his party).

We will just leave it to him to decide. You can't be invited to every single party, children need to realise that.

NuffSaidSam · 17/06/2023 21:16

It shouldn't be so stressful working out who to invite. Does she not have an obvious group of friends? Or does she like all 12 girls the same?

I'd just take the three she knows she wants and be done with. Trampoline and pizza afterwards.

drpet49 · 17/06/2023 21:18

Silverribbons · 17/06/2023 21:07

Agree that inviting approx 7 and leaving 6/7 out is absolutely fine. I also think it's absolutely fine to expect parents to drive around 10 mins.
Make sure you put an RSVP date on the invite and don't be scared to chase up parents if they haven't replied by the date. Hope it goes well.

This. Completely fine to leave out 7

Original poster
Userno464836383737363744 · 18/06/2023 16:25

Thanks all! What about siblings when it comes to something like a trampoline park? Lots of siblings came to whole class party last year but it was fine as we had plenty of room and food. Some asked, some didn’t. Do parents understand that siblings cannot just be included with things you pay for PP? They of course can book at the same time for a sibling and there’s a soft play next door the small ones!

OP posts:
Original poster
Userno464836383737363744 · 18/06/2023 16:27

Also, how soon for invites? It’ll be about 3 weeks before when I get the invites out!

OP posts:
SirSamVimesCityWatch · 18/06/2023 17:20

Usually people will ask is it ok if I bring a sibling and pay for them to go in at the same time, and then they just take them off to the cafe for some food while the party kids are getting their food.

People understand that you have paid for X number of places.

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