Struggling with lack of support - operation

[Giraffesanddance]

I have to have major surgery early next week - it’s to correct something following previous major surgery late last year.

Im a single parent, no partner. Just feeling very down this evening as feel so alone. I have family but they won’t help. DC dad will help a bit but they won’t stay there ( one DC has SEN). Part of the reason I’m having more surgery is I did too much too soon last time so have managed to find some childcare help a couple of days a week for the first two weeks which I can’t really afford.

I don’t know - I’m a sociable person, and I really struggled last time with the isolation ( effectively house bound for several weeks). But also the feeling of just having no one to help me, even when in pain etc still have to get up and do breakfasts, try and get them ready for school etc. I guess it’s the realisation of not having anyone to care and being no one’s priority I’m finding hard.

I do have friends but most are single parents and /or have a child with SEN and of course have their own lives. People have offered to help with the DC which I hugely appreciate. I guess I just want someone to look after me, which is silly. Even the fact that I won’t have any visitors in hospital - I don’t even really want visitors so no idea why that upsets me!

sorry just having a wallow this evening.