The lack of self-awareness is mindblowing

[sadsack78]

Had a chat with my MIL about yesterday's afternoon- she went for a beach walk with my FIL.

She was talking about how many scantily glad girls there were with their bums out etc- which, y'know, fine, whatever. It's hot. It was the beach. People can do what they want.

She then went on to talk about a group of teenage girls in skimpy clothes where one member of the group was overweight and had her tummy fat rolls out (!).

I said something about, I'm glad people can wear what they want and feel safe doing so. Who cares?

She then said 'Well I suppose there are so many fat people now it's normal'.

!!!

This is a woman who was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and has a mini-stroke in 2020 and was told she needed to lose a significant amount of weight and completely change her diet because her cholesterol levels were off the charts. I won't go into number because I think it can be triggering for some people but she is still not a slim lady and was technically obese before.

How do people say this shit and not realize a) how rude and ignorant it is and b) how little self-awareness they have?

*about yesterday afternoon

She probably feels she can say something like that because of her size (by the sounds of it from how you describe her).

Meh. I’m a fucking whale and what she said doesn’t bother me at all. Everyone has an opinion and judges others doesn’t mean it’s fact. You just have to learn to not give a shit what other people think.

She hasn't said anything untrue. Being obese is normal now. You can be overweight and aware that more people are overweight than ever before, and express your opinion on it, just as other overweight people are free to express their fashion choices without being judged.

My mother (a healthy BMI, almost 80) has internalised so many misogynistic messages about women’s bodies that she’s utterly horrified by overweight women or girls wearing anything that isn’t a tent, but it also needs to be tent that shows they’ve ‘made an effort’.

A teenager unconcernedly wearing a cropped top showing rolls of fat is incomprehensible to her: ‘Does she not know what she looks like???’ This despite me and my sisters pointing out the obvious to her for several decades. She says we’re ‘just being awkward’ if it’s suggested that it’s not women or girls’ duty to dress according to other people’s ideas of ‘what looks nice’.

(She’s similarly baffled by my liking for androgynous, oversized clothes, which ‘aren’t flattering’.)

This. It's not rude unless she said something to their face. It's definitely considered normal now to be overweight. When I was a kid you hardly ever saw an obese person now nearly every one (including me) is overweight.

Her judgement was more about having the fat rolls out on display I think, which I'm guessing she'd never do. She's from a generation where body-positivity wasn't a thing. Fat was something to either a) do something about ie lose weight or b) hide under clothes designed to disguise it or at least cover it up. As for there being lots of fat people so the girl not feeling out of place, well she's right isn't she? It has been normalised. I can't see why you're getting all het up TBH.

That sounds like my mum was
Except she was around a size 24 and adamant we were the same size (I was a 14 then) and bought me a size 26 shirt as it would be "flattering"
Dad "no she looks ridiculous"

Yeah my mum says similar things to me when we’re out. She once said something to my DD15 (about another young women) and DD was horrified by it.

While I may not be confident enough to ‘expose’ my body, I do admire people’s confidence to do so.

I get a bit uneasy about how my teen DDs dress but only because I don’t want anyone perving over them.

I read the title of your thread and thought it would be about Nadine Dorries!

EyelessArseFace · Today 11:13
I read the title of your thread and thought it would be about Nadine Dorries”

I thought Bozo 😁

I don't think she's wrong about lack of self awareness with regards weight.

We have become a naturally bigger nation and our idea of slim is very different to back when she was growing up.

I'm overweight. People say I'm not. But my BMI is 30.

My weight is 2.5 stone above what it should be for normal BMI.

But I don't look particularly overweight because of clothes design and the changes in peoples natural size.

Having said that o do think people should feel comfortable to wear what they want regardless of size.

askher what she thinks of lizzo

im actually jealous of people who dont care its liberating

I'm not seeing anything 'mind blowing' from your post op!?

Bit dramatic

I don't understand - just because she's fat, she can't comment on other people being fat?! That doesn't make sense. It's true that most people are overweight these days and you're allowed to comment on it if you're overweight too.

Op didn't return...

Are fat people not allowed to have opinions?

She didn’t say it to there face so so what?

Same lol