is this enough to help me cope as a lone parent?

[alonnel]

I have a 16 month dc, lone parent, no help at all. I am not coping with not having a moment alone alongside dc and work. I’ve booked annual leave one Monday a week for the next two months with a view to making it a permanent thing (with pay cut), and leaving dc in nursery that day. But will it help? Will this be the answer? Or will I be taking a pay cut and hit on my career for little benefit? A close friend who is a single parent (with ex involved) has said the evenings are what makes a difference and I would be better getting a babysitter. I am very remote and there really aren’t any round here so I feel stuck. And a bit hopeless.

I'm a lone parent of 3. Mine are all at school now but I've been single since my youngest was 6 months old. I find days off in the week a god send. I work shifts and having a day or 2 in the week while the kids are in school really helps me mentally and I can get jobs done. Sometimes I sack off the chores and do something just for me.

Yes its nice to have an evening babysitter but I can happily live without that. I become very depressed when I don't get my week days!

@Stressfordays thank you this has made me feel more positive!!

Same here, and a day a week me-time is the difference between coping and insanity!

Fingers crossed it works for you.

A typical week day off for me is dropping the kids at school, coming home and doing an hour or 2 of cleaning, meeting a friend for lunch then coming home and having a nap/relax for an hour before school pick up. I'm a much happier, relaxed parent on these days!

@Lavenderfowl how many dc do you have? What do you do with your day to yourself? It will be the first day I have had for over a year.

@Stressfordays this sounds brilliant! I haven’t had one day to myself for over a year and I feel a bit overwhelmed by it.

I think it will help massively. I’ve been in your shoes and that day to do what you want and need, whether it’s catching up on chores is chilling in front of the telly makes a big difference.
I’ve done every combination of working and relationships, and my easiest times were when I had a day a week when the kids were at school and I didn’t have to work.

I take a day off now and then. It helps with burnout big time!

be prepared to feel weird being at home without your tiny human but the break will feel great

I used to go to a club when I worked 4 days a week and also socialised that day. Was Lovely!! Do what works for you, it won't be the same as what your friend needs. We are all different.

Just the one, I went back to work full-time when he started school but it was too much, so I now try and have a day a week where I do nice things for me, even if all I do is read or look after the garden. I’m sure a lot of the benefit is just being able to switch off safe in the knowledge that someone else is looking after him .

You absolutely must.

I was three days a week.

Kicked husband out.

Took on a temp job wfh one day a week and put DC in nursery. Was like a holiday.

If you have no other downtime you MUST find a way to get it and fiercely guard it. You’re only human and humans need a village, even if that means paying nursery.

DO IT.

I'm a lone parent. It's definitely hugely important to me to have time away from DD every so often, but for me the most beneficial is to have a proper break from everything (including DD) for 3–4 days. She's 5 now and I've had two 4-day breaks plus a couple of shorter overnights away since she was born and I've found these brilliant for recharging my batteries.

It's not actually DD I need a break from really as she's very easy to be around, but it's the daily drudge of everything that has to be done (general house stuff, making packed lunches, putting sunscreen on her, remembering all the stuff I have to remember every day) that I find grinds me down.

A day off a week wouldn't work for me because I'm really crap at relaxing. I would either spend the time doing jobs at home or I'd spend the time trying to relax while feeling I could/should be doing something more useful. To make this work for me I would probably need to get on a train and have a day out somewhere so that I was away from home and the to do list!

Lone parent here. I have a day off once a week for my own sanity.

Things I might do:
Housework/food shop
Sort household admin stuff
Health appointments
Car service/Mot etc
Fix things
Decorate
(But not all at once and pacing myself over several weeks)

And/or:

Meet friends
Wander round shops at my own pace
Sit in a cafe
Read a book in the garden
Sleep
Try a yoga or craft class
Laze around with the cat
Nothing!