Any autistic mumsnetters here?

[Nosleepforthismum]

Driving myself crazy with worry and fear about my gorgeous DS as he is delayed in speech and showing a few red flags that can indicate autism. I’m trying so hard to enjoy him for the little boy he is but I’m obsessing over everything he does and feeling so fearful for his future. I know it’s the fear of the unknown which is hard to deal with right now.

I actually don’t know any autistic adults (or at least non that are diagnosed/are open about it) and so I’m wondering if any of you lovely lot are diagnosed or suspect you might be on the spectrum and whether or not you had a happy childhood, are happy now, have friends, have a career, have a family?

Me! I'm NHS diagnosed autistic and am in my late twenties. I live independently, work, have meaningful friendships and a happy long term relationship. I've struggled massively with employment and indeed many demands of daily life, due to my autism, but I venture to say that my non-autistic peers have also had their own significant life struggles, for their own reasons. The challenges autism can bring must be respected, understood and supported, but it is absolutely not a signal of doom. No way.

I'd like to direct you to a post recently added to Classics, titled something like "I'm an "autism expert", AMA". I would link but I'm on my mobile. It's a wealth of knowledge, information, experience and expertise. Lots of love.

There's a whole board https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/neurodiverse_mumsnetters

Not sure about that board I posted to ask for advice about my autistic dd and was basically told to get lost and they don't like people who are NT posting for advice on their children!

A know loads - I work with autistic adults and children 90% are perfectly capable of working and living independently- More than you imagine!

The imagine of Autism isn’t realistic in the slightest most of shown to be incapable of pretty much anything bar some amazing ability to remember stuff - it’s not true!!

Austic adults can be driven and are high achievers - some hair want peace

You are probably better off asking in the SN Children board for advice on parenting an autistic child. The Neurodiverse Mumsnetters board is specifically for, well, mumsnet users who are themselves neurodiverse!

It's worth noting, too, that development can look different in autistic children, so even if your child isn't hitting developmental milestones in a typical or expected way, that doesn't necessarily mean they, for example, will never speak, or will never be able to do certain tasks independently. Not that that's the worst thing in the world! But just wanted to say that an unconventional development can be fairly common in autistic people, and doesn't accurately predict what their adult life will look like.

Hello OP, i am an NHS diagnosed autistic adult .My 20yr old son is autistic too, he has some learning difficulties but I don't.

Don't panic, autism is just a way of seeing and perceiving the world differently.

Both my son and I have a huge empathy response to suffering, he struggles to express it so avoids it.

Meanwhile I have been a nurse, midwife and health visitor. I now work in a non clinical role supporting people with MH issues.

My son has some struggles but is only 20 so still finding his way in the world.

I wouldn't use the board again or advise the op too its not very welcoming. I stick to fb groups for this now.

Agreed.

There are any number of threads about children and autism so asking on that particular thread seems cloth-eared.

Just to add. My brother has autism and had a terrible childhood, has no friends, is 28 and can’t/doesn’t work, is very depressed and id be surprised if he didn’t commit suicide at some point in the near future.

Me: 64. Autistic. Good career in the NHS. Now retired.
ds doing his masters
dd high flyer in a particular industry.
dd 2 Biochemistry
We all have friends but with each of us our circle is limited. We are happy and have good solid relationships with people.

I'm autistic. I have a husband, children, good job (in IT, cliche!) and a nice home. I struggle with being a perfectionist, being dogged and social anxiety. I often say the wrong thing, I have a VERY dry sense of humour that many don't get. I over think and obsess, I am not a "that'll do" person which leads to a lot of stress. I can be direct and struggle when people do the whole "I don't mind" when clearly they do, I appreciate honesty and am clear in communicating my needs and get frustrated when others don't. I care too much about a lot of things that bring me unneeded worry. I am generally happy but am on anti depressants which facilitate this.

Without wanting to speak dismissively of the difficult topic you've spoken about here, I don't think this comment with so little context is helpful. It's likely to really frighten OP, and without good cause I feel. Autism brings significant struggles (hence it being a disability), which I know all too well, being autistic myself; however, plenty of non-autistic people struggle hugely with mental health, coping with life and feeling fulfilled and happy, too. There are countless factors that contribute to whether a person, disabled, autistic, non-autistic, etc., maintains good mental and physical health, and autism is absolutely not an automatic pre-cursor for the difficulties your brother has dealt with.

That said, I would never minimise someone's struggles, and autism can make life so very difficult for some of us. It's just that autism is just one factor. I sincerely hope your brother finds some peace and better wellbeing soon.

@Nosleepforthismum

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/4809096-i-am-an-autism-expert-ask-me-anything

Here is the autism AMA! It's fantastic, I recommended it for Classics myself. I imagine you could really bury yourself in this and come out the other side feeling empowered with information and hope. Also, please feel free to message me if you want to discuss this. I'm always happy to talk about my experience of autism.